One question that many people (especially women), have been asking is, “Who should be responsible for the cooking in the home? Is it the husband or the wife?
Some might conclude that only profeminists would ask such a question. This is because society says women should be in charge of the kitchen and everything concerning food. But is that true? If a wife is the sole proprietor of the kitchen, does the husband have any right to complain about her cooking?
Most marriages have failed because of a problem that shouldn’t be a problem in the first place. Simple issues such as, ‘who should do the dishes’ or ‘who should cook’ have broken one home or the other. Gender roles are still a topic up for debate. But in the meantime, couples are becoming more sensitive to the needs of their partners.
As such, the idea of who cooks is becoming less of a problem. Meaning, that as a woman in this century, you’re probably doing the majority of the cooking because you love and want to please your husband.
This is why it might come as a rude shock to discover he doesn’t like most of the meals you take time to prepare for him. What then should you do in a case whereby you put in so much effort to prepare a nice dish for him, only for him to reject your food?
This article isn’t debating if the husband or his wife should be the one cooking. Instead, it is going to give you as a woman some tips for handling a situation where your man says or shows he doesn’t like your cooking. So, read to the end to get all the tips.
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Before someone else tells you that your food doesn’t taste nice, you should have known what could have gone wrong with it. Except you serve your meals without tasting them first, you should know if an ingredient is lacking or too much in your food.
As such, when your spouse complains he doesn’t like your meal, taste it again to see if you can figure out anything wrong with it. Then, be sincere with yourself and ask, ‘Is the meal really bad, or your husband is the one with terrible taste buds?’
If the food isn’t that good, apologize about the meal not turning out the way you expected. If there’s nothing wrong with the meal, explain this to your man in a way that he will see things from your perspective.
If the complaint about your cooking persists, and neither you nor your man is willing to take the blame, you may need to ask a third party to taste the food.
If after analyzing on your own to know what’s wrong with what you cook, and your partner remains adamant about your food not being delicious, invite a friend of the family to taste the same foods your partner doesn’t like.
Ensure you use the same recipes to maintain consistency and to back up your claims against your husband’s complaints. The third party should be unbiased and a lover of a good meal. If you know a practicing chef, that would be even more awesome. He or she would be able to judge fairly and advise both of you on how to prepare tasty foods.
It’s normal for you to get mad or hurt when your man rejects the dinner you prepared for him. You might even get so angry that you swear never to cook again. However, marriage means there will be occasional friction between the two of you and you’ll have to talk about the problem at some point.
Ask your man to tell you exactly what he didn’t like about the meal so you know what to improve on. Perhaps, he liked the appetizer, but didn’t like the main dish? Maybe, he would have been more satisfied if the main serving was tastier than the appetizer. Being open to honest feedback on the foods you cook will not only make you a better chef but will also save your home.
Sometimes, you might get angry with your husband not from the way he criticized the dinner she made, but the way he presented the criticism. If you aren’t only a wife but also a mother, it means you have to take care of your kids in addition to spending hours laboring over dinner or meal-prepping other foods.
As such, when your partner delivers his feedback in a mocking or aggressive tone, the matter escalates quickly and you feel unappreciated for all you juggle at the same time. Instead of pretending his words didn’t hurt you (or start saying hurtful words in return), calmly let him know that you don’t like the way he gave his feedback.
Combining constant cooking with taking care of the home and your career can be draining. As such, any good spouse should be understanding when dinner goes awry. A good spouse would also offer to cook sometimes. This way, you can rest after running around all day doing chores and changing nappies.
However, if he doesn’t offer to cook once in a while, request that he does so since he doesn’t fancy the things you cook for him. Make your request lovingly so he’ll know you genuinely need the help.
Apart from asking your man to cook the next dinner or breakfast, you could prepare a cooking schedule whereby both of you take turns with meal-prepping. This way, you don’t only get him to assist with cooking, but he will have little to no complaints about what he cooks.
Some men complain about their wives’ cooking because they have a preconceived idea of what good foods should taste like. This preconceived notion could be from dating an ex who could cook so well that he used to lick his plate clean. And now your partner expects that same standard from you or nothing else.
In such a case, you might as well leave the kitchen to him or let him cook his food until he can return to reality.
Firstly, do you know why he’s acting that way? Secondly, you might need to toughen up how you react to his uncaring behavior. Thirdly, remain caring till he realizes he’s being a jerk towards you.
Unlike what society likes you to believe, it is not compulsory to cook for your partner. As legal housemates in love with each other, you can decide to do the major cooking while he assists.
If you can, make sure he eats mostly the foods you cook in the house. To do this, make him eat breakfast and prepare a take-along lunch for him. He will look forward to dinner if the other two are good. You could also check in with him to ask what he wants you to cook for dinner before he gets home.
He will start cheating on you openly and stop pretending to care about you.
Emotional abandonment is the act of giving your spouse only physical or monetary benefits such as sex, cash, or gifts while denying them an emotional connection such as meaningful conversations.
The matter of bad cooking in a marriage is not the problem. The issue is understanding why your husband is rejecting what you cook. The moment you know why you’ll know how to fix the problem.
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