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My Boyfriend Hates My Best Friend (11 Things To Do About This)

Are you thinking, “My boyfriend hates my best friend; what should I do?” If so, you are spending time in the right place because that is the topic of conversation today. You may be in a situation where you feel you have to choose between your romantic relationship and your best friend. They may not be able to stand to be in the same room with one another!

In this article, we will look at not just one thing to do if your BF hates your best friend, but we’ll totally cover and explain 11 certain things you can do to improve your relationship. You may expect this problem to go away overnight, but it’s going to take more than a sweet note or honest conversation to get this to pass.

Talking about your problems with your boyfriend is a smart thing to do. You don’t want to be caught in the middle between the relationship you have with your friends and those you have with the people you choose to date. Spending time, even if it’s just a little bit, with each person will help you deal with this problem and the behavior that comes with it. Let’s talk more about it.

What To Do If Your Boyfriend Despises Your Best Friend

1. Find out why your boyfriend hates your best friend

When you have time to talk to your boyfriend about your best friend, hear him out. Find out what he finds so wrong with your best friend. Is there merely a misunderstanding that is taking place? Does he respect you enough to tell you why he does dislike her so much? Talking to your man may be the best step you can take to resolve this issue.

2. Hang out with them separately

hang out with them separately

While it’s never fun spending time with your boyfriend and best friend separately, it may be what is best for everyone. Just make sure they both understand the boundaries you need to set to keep things going well in both relationships. If you have an obsessive boyfriend, you may need to sort some things out in that relationship!

An obsessive boyfriend may be possessive. He might not be respectful of the limits you need to place on your relationship. He may resent the time you spend with your best friend instead of being happy for you. This could mean you may need to take a break from your boyfriend or break things off.

3. Don’t gossip

It may be easy or come naturally to badmouth one person to another, but it is not healthy. You should keep the secrets you swore to keep and try not to talk about people behind their backs. You can easily lose friends and romantic partners because of this.

4. Ask your boyfriend to give your best friend a second chance

There’s no reason you can’t ask your man to give her one more chance. He may really despise her, but if he cares about you and loves you, he will surely be happy to give her another chance. Meet at a restaurant or watch a movie together. That way, the pressure is off, and you can focus on the movie or food when awkward silences occur.

5. Don’t get defensive

don't get defensive

Being defensive just leads to arguments and even big fights. It’s best to work as a team to solve problems. If you just realized that you had been married to someone you knew nothing about, you may be in for a shock. Get to know one another, and don’t bite his head off if he brings up your best bud. He may want to talk out the issues he’s having!

6. Empathize and listen

When your man reveals the reasons he dislikes your friends, you should listen intently. Find out what his opinion really is on the subject. Why does he have a problem with her? Is there something going on that you never noticed before? How can you intervene to make this problem go away? Start by listening to his point of view.

The next thing you should do is try to empathize. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially if you don’t understand the point of view of the other person. To better learn how to do this, you might want to ask a lot of questions. Find out what happened between the two of them to cause this problem. Why does he hate her?

As you empathize and listen, you’ll need to focus on what he is saying. Don’t allow your cellular phone to distract you; keep your focus on him and what he wants to explain about how he feels for her. If he isn’t much of a talker, that’s okay. You can always ask him open-ended questions to find out what’s going on. Just be understanding!

7. Do group activities

When in doubt, a group activity like bowling is always a great idea. It takes the pressure off having deep conversations, which could turn into arguments. Instead, it encourages teamwork and helps the two people who don’t get along have a common ground - something they can both converse about.

8. Make sure your boyfriend shows respect for your friendships

While you should not be too defensive when your best friend is brought up, you should also not tolerate complete disrespect. If he calls her names, for example, you might want to think twice about who you are in a relationship with. Does he have a kind heart? Is he gentle? Why would he say such unloving things in front of you?

9. Decide how this affects your life

decide how this affects your life

While having discord between these two people can really stir up trouble, it also is something you can somewhat control. You may not be able to fix things between the two of them, but you can certainly control how you respond to the situation. How are you going to let this affect your life? How can you respond to such a problem best?

I once heard that you cannot control the world around you, but you can control how it affects you. You may not have a say in how your boyfriend feels about your best friend, but you can try to understand and explain her poor choices or bad qualities away. Speak about what’s so great in her and why you love her so much!

10. Establish boundaries with each person

These can come in the form of physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental boundaries. Just make certain that both people are respecting your choices and care about your well-being. You certainly don’t need to have this kind of stress in your life if you can avoid it altogether. 

11. Be patient

There are plenty of times in life when all you need to do is to hurry up and wait. I know this is something that I struggle with, but time does heal quite a bit of hurt or at least makes you feel better later. Consider working on your patience as the discord between your man and your best gal grows. Time may heal all wounds between them!


What should I do if my boyfriend hates my best friend?

These things do not usually happen overnight. He may dislike your friendship with this other person, but as long as he remains respectful and treats you right, you should be able to set boundaries and spend time with both of them! Involve yourself in both of their lives!

Are best friends more important than boyfriends?

The answer to that question depends on you. Best friends are supposed to be forever, whereas a BF may just be someone you are dating. He may not think of you as a girl he wants to take home to meet his mom or as the person he wants to party with. Talk to him!

Why does my boyfriend not like any of my friends?

Some men get angry when you hang out with your friends because they don’t want to sit around by themselves while you go have fun. There’s usually a good reason why a boyfriend happens to dislike your friendships with other people.

Why should your partner not be your best friend?

If your partner is the person you rely on for everything - his opinions, interests, and sex - you may be putting too much stock in one person. Have hope; this can be fine if you balance your other relationships. Just don’t spend all of your free time with one person.

What if your friend doesn't like your boyfriend?

If you have found out that your friends don’t approve of your relationship, you might want to find out why. Does he have an unresolved control issue? Your friends are important people to listen to because you respect their opinions and accept their words about who you are dating.

The Bottomline

Do you have a friendship and romantic relationship that are clashing? Do you hear from one relationship that the other relationship isn’t good for you? Hang in there! Will that in the future, your boyfriend will not put you in the middle of him and your best friendships!

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Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

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