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Do I Like Him Or The Attention? (15+ Clear Signs)

by Sonya Schwartz

It can be a confusing time when you are seeing a guy that you are unsure as to whether you want to take things further or not. So often, we can actually get lured into a relationship as we simply like the attention that we get. However, there are ways to tell whether this is the case with the guy you are seeing at the moment. 

Here, in this article, we list a number of signs that you truly like him alongside signs that you simply like the attention he gives you. By looking at these key indicators side by side, you can quickly answer how to know if you like a guy without wasting yours or his time. 

Signs You Like Him

1. You get jealous

A key signal that you actually like a guy you are dating is that you get jealous at the thought of him seeing other people. If you have yet to make your relationship exclusive, this can be something that really points out that you are into him. Jealousy is a very strong reaction and not one that can be forced. So if you are feeling it naturally when thinking about him with someone else, it is very likely that you want to take your relationship further with him. 

2. You get flutters

Another emotion that you cannot fake about someone is if they give you a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the thought of seeing them. This is just your body’s way of physically manifesting its excitement at the prospect of meeting up with a person. Flutters are a wonderful sensation to have, especially when the person you are dating reciprocates your feelings, as they can be an indication of something very special. They don’t happen for all relationships, so if you have them for a man you are seeing, you most likely want something long term with him. 

3. You take longer getting ready

Another way to tell your true feelings for someone is if you take a long time to get ready to see them. This means that you want them to see you looking at your best so that they find you attractive. So if you are confused about a guy, and find yourself taking ages to get dressed to go out, then you can safely assume you are into him for more than just his attention. 

4. You look forward to his messages

You look forward to his messages

When you first start seeing someone that you like, there is nothing better than seeing you have an email or message on your phone from them. You may even get those aforementioned flutters again. If you look forward to receiving messages from the man you are seeing, you can be safe in the knowledge that you are dating him for more than just his attention. This is a fun phase of a relationship so try to take as much pleasure in it as possible without overthinking your behavior towards him. 

5. You use every excuse to touch him

One of the major signals for when two people have a strong attraction to one another is when they can’t stop touching each other. If you look for any opportunity to touch the man you are dating, or you even find yourself doing it subconsciously, then you like him for his company - not just his attention. This type of touching is again not something that can be forced or put on. In fact, it’s a natural reaction for your body when you are with someone that makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room. 

6. You always make time to see him

If you are not attracted to a guy, you won’t feel like you are compelled to see him. However, if you do actually like him and have strong feelings for him, you will always make time to see him. No one and nothing will come in the way of seeing him. So if you are dating someone that you are consistently amending your diary dates for so you can do anything and everything with them, you can be assured your feelings for him are more than attention-seeking ones.

7. You talk about your future

When you are with someone that you like, you will naturally find yourself talking about your future and your plans for your life. The reason being is that your mind just immediately assumes that the relationship will be lasting - even as just friends. However, if you find yourself talking about your future, coupled with a sign or two mentioned above, the chances are you want more from your relationship with him than just friends or attention.

8. You don’t go on dating apps anymore

Not using the dating apps on your phone anymore is a key indicator that you really like a man that you are seeing. Again, this probably won’t be a conscious decision on your part. In fact, it will probably be very natural and you won’t even realize you have stopped doing it. But, if you are in a relationship with someone - however casual - and you are not actively looking for other people to date, you are most likely into them for more than just attention. 

Signs You Like The Attention

1. You hate him touching you

You hate him touching you

Romantic relationships should involve a lot of touching. If you hate to be touched by the man you are seeing, the likelihood is that you don’t want a long term relationship with him at all. If the smallest touch or anything like that makes you feel like you want to recoil from them, this is a big bodily hint that you do not want anything more from them in terms of a romantic relationship. 

2. You find yourself thinking of a future without him

If you never ever think about your future with the man you are dating, despite seeing each other for a while, you most likely keep meeting up with him just for the attention. Again, this is your mind and your body’s natural reaction when it comes to having relationships with people. Love and attraction cannot be forced, but if they are present, you will naturally look to a future together. If you can’t see that future, you may want to stop seeing him so as to spare his feelings. 

3. He’s always your fall back up plan

A thing that many of us are guilty of when we are seeing someone that we simply stick with for the attention, is if you think of him as your back up plan. This can mean that you only contact him when you have seen what the rest of your friends and family are up to over the weekend, to find that they are busy. 

4. You still check your dating apps

In stark comparison to a person who is dating someone they really like, if you are only in a relationship with someone for their attention, you could well still be checking or using your dating apps. This means that you are using the person you are within a relationship as a fall back for some harmless flirtation while hedging your bets by continuing to use apps like Tinder

5. You find it easy to forget him 

When you are with a person in a relationship, yet you find it easy to forget about them and be distracted from the fact that you haven’t seen them for a while, you may only be in that relationship for the attention. This is quite natural, but also something to be aware of so that you don’t continue with the relationship if it is one-sided. 

6. You get lonely easily

You get lonely easily

Sadly, some people stay in a relationship with someone that they are not really into, and as a consequence, they actually still feel lonely. In fact, if you feel like you are lonely a lot of the time, even when you are in their company, the chances are that you are with him for the wrong reason. Companionship is only worthwhile if you truly get everything you need from that partnership. However, if it is simply attention, you may find that you don’t get anything else so stay lonely. 

7. You don’t talk about him to your friends

If someone is an important part of your life, or you wish he was an important part of your life, you are very likely to tell your friends about him. If you find that you haven’t said a thing to your closest pals about the man you are dating, you could well only be with him for the attention that he showers you with. When we are with someone that we like, we use any given opportunity to talk about them to anyone. The next time you see your friends, think about whether you want to bring up the man in your life during the conversation. 

8. You still think about your ex

Of course, perhaps the biggest sign of all that you are only with a man for the attention he gives you is if you still think about your ex. More specifically, if you still have loving feelings or sexual feelings for your ex, the likelihood is that you are only dating at all for some sort of attention in an effort to get over your ex. This is very common, but something that you could address in a healthier way by working through why you still pine for your old boyfriend. 

FAQs

How do you know if you like him or the attention?

It’s hard to know sometimes whether you like a guy or simply like his attention. The reason being is that we all like our egos massaged and so if we have a person in our life who bestows us with positive attention, then we usually respond to it positively too. 

How do I know if I really like him?

It’s not always immediately obvious if you really like a guy or you just want to be friends with him. However, if you enjoy kissing him, or you want to kiss, that is often a good sign that you want to take things further in your relationship. 

How do you tell if you like someone or if you're just lonely?

It is a very natural reaction to stay with someone when really you only are with them because you don’t like to be on your own. This is very common and a lot of people do it. However, if you ask yourself the question and are brutally honest, then you will often figure out whether you actually like them. 

Can you like someone but not want to date them?

Matters of the heart are a complicated thing and everyone has oddities in their love life. Whilst it isn’t very common, it can happen that you like a person but don’t want to date them. This could be because of the time of life you are at or even because you are not in the best emotional place to date. 

How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?

You can tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you if every so often he opens up to you about what he wants for the future - only to close down a few days later. This can be very hard to cope with, but if you speak to him openly and honestly about your confusion, you can save yourself the heartache. 

How Do You Know If You Like Him Or The Attention? - The Bottom Line

Knowing whether you like a man or not, or whether you are really just with him for the attention is harder than it sounds. The key is to be brutally honest with yourself and look out for the signs that we mentioned above. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

The reason that it is imperative that you are honest with yourself is that it is not fair on either you or the man you are dating to continue seeing each other if the relationship is not going anywhere. It wastes both your and his time if you are both looking for love. You need to look for it in the right places and you won’t find it with someone who you are only with for attention. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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