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How To Not Come On Too Strong (13 Dynamite Tips)

If you are interested in learning how to not come across as too strong, be sure to check out the tips in this article. We’ll give you the advice you need to get guys hanging out with you all the time. You will be fighting them off with a stick because so many gentlemen will be knocking at your door. The key is to give guys the space they need in a relationship. 

Even if you are just starting out with someone, you both need boundaries. It’s an important part of a relationship. If you follow the tips suggested in this article or learn more about The Rules, you will avoid coming on too strong with the opposite sex. Spend time on your own if your mate needs room to breathe. Don’t suffocate him or her by coming across as too strong!

If you want to be the type of cool girl that all the guys want to date, you should be a bit more aloof in your attitude. You don’t need to dominate every conversation or get all of the attention on a date. Let him shine every now and then! Let’s learn more about this topic!

What Does It Mean to Not Come On Too Strong?

When it comes to relationship talk or relationship territory, coming on too strong means that you are being too forward. It comes across as desperate if you start coming on too strong all the time. You don’t want to force guys to like you and be an annoying person that they just can’t get rid of. Instead, let a relationship come naturally by being a little stand-offish. Be aloof!!

How Can You Avoid Coming On Too Strong? (Top Tips)

1. Let him talk

Learn to listen more than you talk. People will enjoy being around you so much more if you master the art of listening instead of being the instigator all of the time. It may be your first instinct to start every conversation, but sometimes, you need to let the guy do all the talking. You learn so much more when you listen, too!

So, what is the trick to listening without having to talk too much? Consider asking questions after he is done speaking. Find out what he means by what he has said. If he mentioned a sport, ask him if he has ever played this sport, what his favorite team is, and when was the last time he watched the sport in person! Learn more!

Learn to be quiet when talking to a guy. You don’t have to be silent all of the time, but you should allow him time to come up with his own topics of conversation. Allow him the chance to make the first move instead of initiating everything yourself. If you stand off to the side every now and then, you will learn so much more and enjoy life more, too!

2. Think before speaking

think before speaking

Often, we speak without thinking of what we are actually saying. It can be fun to speak whatever’s on your mind. I understand this instinct, but if you give it some thought, you might come out ahead - more often than you would expect! It can be fun to learn from other people instead of always making things about yourself.

When it comes to texting, you should give your texts some time before sending them. If you try to send texts as soon as you think of them, you might come across as too needy! If you are texting a guy, make sure you give him time to reply before jumping to conclusions. Don’t assume texting rules are the same for all men, too.

Some men like texting and will respond back as soon as they receive a text message. Other men enjoy texting when they have time to look at their phones on breaks at work or on a lunch break at school. Not everyone follows the same texting rules, so don’t assume he is ignoring you or doesn’t like you because he didn’t immediately respond.

3. Watch your expressions

Hold back your feelings and emotions if they are too strong. This can be tricky in the dating world, but the important thing is to be yourself, but be less of yourself if you are a needy person. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not, but make sure you are not too forward when dating someone. 

You might not want to run in for a hug at the beginning of a date, for example. If you get an awesome text in a quiet area, you might not want to scream in excitement at the top of your lungs. That is coming across as too aggressive and outspoken. You need to be a little more reserved in your expressions!

4. Don’t always say YES to dates

While men like to hear affirmations when they ask you out for a date, they also need to know that you have a life and aren’t too eager to start dating them. If you occasionally say NO or just have plans that you cannot cancel, you will be seen as someone who has her own life and can make her own plans if need be. 

This show of independence will let a guy know that you are not just sitting around waiting on him to ask you out. You won’t appear too needy or too forward by being this way. You don’t need to lie, but you should not sit around waiting to hang out with a guy when you could make plans to go hang out with your girlfriends!

5. Have a life

have a life

One great way to avoid saying yes automatically to dates is to have a life. Have your own plans, even if you are in a relationship. You don’t want him to think you are just sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring so that you can hang out with him. 

6. Learn to say NO

In line with the last two points, it’s okay to occasionally say NO when dating a guy. You don’t need to always be available for plans. Sometimes, you must show that you DO have a life and aren’t just sitting by the phone waiting for a text to go out on a date!

7. Don’t give ultimatums

You may want things to go a certain way in your life, but people don’t like ultimatums. Avoid telling men that they must do things a certain way. That bossy vibe will get you nowhere in the dating world. Instead, be easy-going and light-hearted!

8. Let him make the plans for dates

If you have a great idea for a hot date, you can mention it to your man. However, you should let him initiate the plans most of the time. Make him work for your affection! You will feel stronger because of it.

9. Don’t include yourself automatically

Just because your boyfriend makes plans with his buds or has a fun road trip planned with his family doesn’t mean that you need to be included. Remember that you need to have your own life. Your happiness does not need to depend on another person!

10. Don’t ask to meet his friends and family

Give these things time. If he wants you to hang out with his family and friends, he will invite you. Wait for the right moment before asking to be included in these memories. If hanging out with his support system is important to you, just give it time; be patient, and all will happen when it should.

11. Wait to get intimate

wait to get intimate

Don’t make the first physical move! Let him initiate things. This will give him more room to make his move when he thinks the time is right.

12. Don’t have too high of expectations

If you expect too much of your boyfriend or girlfriend, you are bound to be disappointed. It is important to leave room for errors in life. 

13. Play hard to get

As mentioned, The Rules are a certain way you can act that will have men drooling. This basically means that you play hard to get. Let him call you; allow him to initiate things. He will appreciate you that much more if he has to work a little more for it!


How do you show interest without coming on too strong?

When you date guys, have an engaging conversation; show you are interested in more than superficial things, and the guys will have good thoughts about you and want to know more! Let the guy make the first move, and he’ll enjoy dating you all the more! You’ll benefit in the end!

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

How do I know if I'm coming on too strong?

One sign that you may be coming off as too strong is a guy that gets scared off or needs space from you. Another sign might be a guy who doesn’t call you back. Watch for a sign like this, and you’ll know if you are coming across as too strong or not.

What is coming on too strong to a girl?

A “desperate” girl is not fun to hang out with because she always wants to be included in everything. She is just always wanting attention - someone who must be in “the know” about everything. It’s very unappealing to guys! Stop coming across this way if this sounds like you!

Is it bad to come on too strong?

Some men like a girl who is forward and can start a conversation on her own; other guys are interested in a girl who is shy or more laid back. If you are worried that this sounds like you, be straight with your love interest. Let him know you like him - subtly!

How can a girl not be thirsty?

A good sign that a girl is not too desperate is when she is able to have her own alone time without dispute. If a guy asks to cool things off, he might be trying to indicate you are too thirsty for a relationship! If you can have “girl time” with no problem, you’re golden!

To Sum It All Up

How do you avoid coming across as too strong to the opposite sex? What body language do you use when flirting with your love interest? Do you think it’s okay to start texting a guy after one date? We’d love your take. Please comment, and share this post!

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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