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He Stopped Texting After We Slept Together (23 Revealing Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

Everything is going perfectly. You two are getting along great. You text each other every day. The dates are so amazing your friends know every detail. Then, you sleep together. He disappears. It can leave you wondering what happened, and what you should do about it. Should you reach out to a guy that clearly just wanted sex? Or is he a complete waste of time? 

Why He Stopped Texting And What To Do

If he suddenly ghosts you after a romantic night together it can be tempting to run through everything that has happened. Deep down, you probably want to read the text messages over and over again, but save your self-confidence and don’t do it. There’s no need to analyze every single thing that you said, or didn’t say. Instead, follow these tips. 

1. You may have had different expectations

Even if you were looking for a relationship or best friend for life, he could have been looking for something else. If you don’t make your expectations clear, and he doesn’t his, it’s very likely the two of you were just not on the same page. 

To prevent this in the future, make sure to keep communication open before sleeping with each other. Ask him what he’s looking for to see if he’s shopping for a relationship or if he just wants fun for a night. 

2. Did you just meet him?

Did you just meet him

If you just met him and things got wild for that night, it might be just the way he wanted it: a fun one nightstand. If you just met him and he hasn’t texted, it’s time to move on. 

3. Were you about to commit to a relationship?

If you have been seeing each other for months, and just now slept together, he might be scared. That extra step usually means that you are ready for commitment. This could have simply scared him off because he is not ready for a relationship, or is scared of a relationship. 

Although girls tend to approach sex from an emotional level, men view it as more of a physical act. However, most men know that women do this, and will instantly head for the hills if they aren’t ready for things to get more serious. This might not have anything to do with you or your actions. After so many girls, they could just expect it. 

4. The after-sex conversation scared him

Maybe it had nothing to do with the sex itself. If you wanted to discuss the future of your relationship while cuddling in bed, it may have freaked him out. Don’t discuss life decisions, or even expect him to, after the first time in the bedroom. 

Instead, fill the awkward silence with a compliment or two. Tell him you loved it when he did a certain thing. This will give you two something to talk about while you cuddle and make sure that he doesn’t feel nervous about whether he had an amazing performance or not. 

5. It’s not because his testosterone needs to build back up

Guys are full of testosterone. The younger they are, the more they have. Once a man has sex, that level is said to drop down to an extremely low level. According to this popular claim, he might not be interested in the chase, the catch, or the prey (which is you) until it builds back up again. 

However, this is not true. Ejaculation and orgasm have little impact on testosterone. Instead, a man having an orgasm tends to increase something called prolactin. This will inhibit sexual desire, but only for a brief period. Don’t fall for this line. 

6. It’s not because you slept with him too soon

Guys don’t stop texting you because you slept with them too soon. There is so much advice about this online, but most of it is not true. The harsh reality is that he thinks you’re physically attractive, but that’s about it. Even if you’ve been talking for a month, he might not be attracted to you other than your looks. 

7. He was in love with the chase

Some men never intended to do anything other than sleep with you. These same guys can last months without having sex with you. It’s because they are in love with the chase. It’s the thrill of the chase that makes them text every day. Once the two of you have slept together, the chase is over, and the thrill is gone. 

Guys that are interested more in the chase than you as a person will usually play hot and cold. If you play hard to get, they up their game. This same guy will tell you that he doesn’t want a relationship or will avoid that serious talk at all costs. Simultaneously, they do not want you to be with anyone else either. If you’re looking for something serious and noticed these signs, save yourself the stress and walk away.

8. He hasn’t texted because it just didn’t feel good

He hasn’t texted because it just didn’t feel good

If it didn’t feel good the first time, why would he want a repeat? This is particularly true if he was just getting to know you in the first place. Once again, try not to take that personally. Some people just aren’t compatible in the bedroom. 

9. You’re not sexually compatible

Being sexually compatible is important in a relationship, especially if that’s the only person that you’re having sex with. If you stay with someone that is the polar opposite of yourself in the bedroom, it just leads to built-up resentment. For me, this is a deal-breaker. For some men, it’s also a deal-breaker. It doesn’t mean you were bad in bed. It just means the two of you aren’t compatible in the bedroom. 

10. He thought you only wanted a one night stand

If you left rather quickly after doing the deed, that’s a sure-fire way to tell him that you were only after one thing. Guys have a bad rep for being the ones to lead someone on just to get them in the bedroom, but there are plenty of girls like this too. 

If you didn’t hang around afterward, it can lead him to believe that you don’t want him in your life. (If this is the case, ignore the no texting advice and send him a good morning, wish I could have stayed longer message.)

11. He might have stopped texting because he’s embarrassed

Did he accidentally fart during sex? Were the two of you so awkward it’s hard to believe that it happened? He might be embarrassed and not know what to say. Another possibility is that he thinks you’re both embarrassed and are not going to text each other for a while. 

12. You’re not into his fetishes

This one is also a deal-breaker for guys, and sometimes you don’t find out that they have a weird fetish until you’re in the middle of the deed and they’re weirdly obsessed with something. They randomly ask you, blow it off when you say no, and then you realize they stopped texting. Consider it a blessing. 

13. He has a girlfriend

You could have been a side chick, and not even known it. Think about whether the clues were there that he had a girlfriend. If he stopped texting after you slept together, he may have stopped to make sure you didn’t find out. 

The longer a guy has a girl on the side, the more likely she is to find out that she’s the other woman. Because of this, they go from one to the next pretty quickly. 

14. He got a rash…

Condoms only have a shelf life for so long. The same applies to other products, like lubricants. If he used something beyond its shelf life or that irritated his skin, it could have given him a rash. If he’s got something new going on down there, he might think you gave him an STD. Give him some time to figure out he doesn’t suddenly have an STD. 

15. Don’t try to have the big conversation now that he’s pulled away

If the two of you did not talk about expectations, and he’s not texting, do not try to initiate that conversation now. It’s the worst time and will push him away further. Instead, give him space. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

16. Focus on how amazing you are

Instead of thinking about what may have gone wrong, remember how great you are. When a guy ghosts you, it can crush your self-esteem. You have to remember that this is his issue, not yours, and it’s not your fault. You’re a great catch!

17. Don’t try to control your emotions

Don’t try to control your emotions

It can be easy to tell yourself that he doesn’t matter and that feeling sad is a waste of time. Don’t do that. Society invalidates our emotions enough, and you don’t need to do that to yourself. 

However, you are feeling is perfectly fine. If you’re sad even though you only knew him for two hours, it’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to be mad, hurt, feel take advantage of, or anything else that you’re feeling. 

18. Consider that he may have only wanted one thing

If you’re doing this, it’s okay to read through those old messages and think back to those previous conversations. Did texting revolve more around superficial things, such as your looks, instead of getting to know you? Did he ask what you liked in the bedroom early on? If he seemed more concerned about your hot body than what your favorite color is, he was more than likely only after that one thing. He probably had the one night stand planned. 

19. Having sex doesn’t change things

Females and males tend to view things differently. In our minds, having sex with someone is a big deal. This signals that the relationship has been taken to the next level. It might mean that things are going to become more serious than they were before. This is why we often expect things to go to the next level after sex, and why we want to have that conversation after sleeping with someone. 

Guys do not feel the same way. To them, sex is another part of life. It does not mean they want to spend their life with you, or even be committed to you. If you haven’t had that conversation, it’s safe to assume that it may have meant nothing to him. Likewise, if there was no communication regarding where things were headed, it means they may not have been headed anywhere. 

20. Don’t text him

It can be tempting to text him and ask him what happened, but if he’s pulled away and doesn’t seem to want to talk to you since you slept together, you have to accept that. As hard as it can be, you need to move on with your life. If you barely knew him, this shouldn’t be that hard. If the two of you were getting to know each other for months before he stopped texting, it can be difficult, but you’ll need to treat it like a break-up. Go no contact unless he texts you first. 

21. How to treat it like a breakup

If he stopped texting, and you’re treating it like a breakup, you need to follow all those rules. Focus on yourself. Work on personal goals. Don’t stalk him on social media. If he stopped texting after you slept together because he was scared, he’ll come back. He just needs time and space. 

22. If you have to text him…

Sometimes, our emotions play a larger role in decision making than we like. This leads to you feeling like you have to text him. Deep down, you just want to make sure that he’s stopped texting for good. If you must, then text him one time. Wait three days. Then, send him a good morning text, or ask him how he’s been. See if he replies. If he does, it opens the door for a conversation about where he’s been the last few days, and what happened to texting daily. 

23. Maintain the same attitude you had before you slept together

Once again, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t let your emotions play a part in the decision making process. This includes how you choose to act. If you were cool and collected before you slept together, continue that now. If he texts you eventually and you become needy and clingy, it’ll scare him away. 

FAQs

Should I text him after we slept together?

You can, but keep it short and simple. Text him a good morning. Ask him how he’s doing. Send a quick text along those lines. You want to be collected and cool. Do not double text him. Instead, let him respond. If he doesn’t, don’t text him again. 

Why did he change after we slept together?

He was just in it for the sex. He got scared that you would want a relationship and he isn’t ready for one. He’s embarrassed or nervous about his performance. He could also be reacting to the way that you’ve changed after you slept together. Have you suddenly started texting more?

How long will a guy wait to text you after hooking up?

The most a guy will usually wait is a few days. This is because he won’t want to appear too desperate or needy. On the other hand, some guys will text you the next morning to make sure that you got home okay. If it’s been longer than a few days or a week, stop waiting for his text.

How do you know if a man is making love to you?

When a man makes love to you his moves will be slow and sensual. He’ll pay attention to your entire body instead of just the known zones, like your neck. Guys that are making love tend to give back massages too. 

Will he lose interest if I sleep with him?

No. If he already likes more than just your physical appearance, he won’t lose interest just because you had sex with him. If he does, he wasn’t genuinely interested in you in the first place. 

In Summary

If a guy stops texting after sleeping with a girl, what do you think that says? Have you ever done this, and what was your reason?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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