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13 Ways Guys Test You Before They Date You

by Sonya Schwartz

When first getting close to someone, all of us tend to test dates to figure out if they’re actually going to be good potential partners. 

However, women do tend to try and figure out if someone is a good potential partner by typically getting to know them honestly and openly, whereas men do tend to actually test people in a more manipulative way. Obviously, this isn’t always the case, but most of the time, it is.

So, it’s really useful to know exactly how guys can test you when getting close to you, so that you can pick up on it and see if they’re testing you subconsciously or if they’re actively trying to figure you out by playing games with you. 

Although there are many ways a guy might test you, in this article we’re going to be sharing the 13 most common ways men might test you before they commit to you.

1. He’ll talk about female friends to find out if you’re a jealous person

He’ll talk about female friends to find out if you’re a jealous person

When a man gets to know you, he’s going to want to make sure that you’re not a super jealous person (or perhaps he wants you to be jealous if he’s into that!), and an easy way to determine this is by speaking about female friends in front of you. 

As well as speaking about female friends, he might even flirt with people around you. He’s testing the waters with you to see how you react.

2. He’ll ask how previous relationships have ended to find out if you’re loyal

A man is going to be interested in finding out if you’re a serial cheater or if you’re seriously damaged from a previous relationship before he decides to commit to you, and a very easy way for him to figure this out is by asking you about previous relationships. 

He won’t dive too deep and ask too many questions as this would look suspicious, but he’ll get the answers he needs from how you respond!

3. He’ll test your intelligence

Unless a man is really unintelligent, he will plan to be with a woman that is intellectual and interesting. So, he’ll test this before committing to dating you! Whether he takes you to a quiz or he asks your opinion on current politics, he’s trying to gauge whether he can have intellectual conversations with you if he does decide to commit to you.

4. He’ll give you two very different options to figure out what type of personality you have

A man might present two very different date options for you to try and figure out what kind of person you are. For example, he might suggest that you pick between a Michelin star dinner at the fanciest spot in town, or a long hike and breakfast. Depending on which idea you pick, he will then assume your personality type.

5. He’ll tell you personal information to see if you remember it

If a man is thinking of dating you or asking you to be his girlfriend, he’ll need to be sure of the fact that you like him, and one of the easiest ways for him to do this is by seeing if you remember the things that he tells you. 

You might notice that a man mentions his personal interests and then asks you about them or brings them up later down the line to find out if you actually took interest in what he was talking about.

6. He acts out to test your commitment to him

When a man is looking for a potential long term partner, he’s going to want to know that they will stick with him no matter what, even if he messes up or acts a little different from time to time. So, this man will find out if you’ll be there for him or not by acting out and waiting to see if you still care for him when he’s not his positive and calm self.

7. He does something crazy to see if you’re a spontaneous person

Even though a guy does appreciate a woman that’s trustworthy and grounding, he will also want her to bring passion into his life and be exciting! So, to see if you are spontaneous and open to having fun, a guy might do something out of the blue or suggest that the two of you do something that you’d never normally do.

8. He’ll cancel plans with you to see how you react

He’ll cancel plans with you to see how you react

A man will want to know that you have a life besides spending time with him, so he might cancel plans at the last minute with you. Although this is a really bad idea and it doesn't get him any brownie points from you, he’s canceling to see if you’re happy to go and do something instead of seeing him - if you are, then he’ll be pleased you’re independent and not clingy.

9. He’ll tell you he doesn’t have a lot of money to check that you’re not dating him for money

A lot of men, especially if they are quite wealthy, will be worried that people only them for their money. So, they will tell the people they’re thinking about dating that they’re poor or have very little money, to whittle away the people that are materialistic and see who actually likes them for who they are.

10. He goes cold to see if you’re actually interested in him

Most men are actually quite scared of being rejected and therefore want to make sure that you are interested in them before they do anything. So, a man might go cold on you to figure out if you will be the one to get in touch and check up on him - if you do, he can safely assume that you really like him and move forward with this plan of making you his partner.

11. He’ll come to see you without making plans to see if you’re open to flexibility

People typically want to see others that are open to being flexible, so this man might come to see you without actually making plans with you to see if you’re interested in grabbing a bite to eat or having a coffee. If you say yes without having to put too much thought into it (whilst not looking desperate of course), then he’ll appreciate your flexibility.

12. He’ll drop by to figure out what you look like when you’re away from him

If a man drops by your place unexpectedly, it’s probably because he’s testing you and wants to see if you look good even when you’re away from him. Obviously, this is pretty gross, because a guy should like you no matter what, but guys are known to do this to see what you look like ‘normally’. 

Honestly, if a guy does this, it’s up to you to stay away from him - he’s judging you on your looks!

13. He’ll try to figure out if you’re someone that’s sexually open

A man typically wants to see how open you are to being sexually intimate with him before he actually decides to commit to dating you. Even though your sexuality is completely your choice and it should never get judged, unfortunately, guys still judge many women on whether they’re ‘easy’ or playing hard to get! 

He might see if you want to ‘chill’ at his place rather than go on a date or he might talk about your opinion on when people should be intimate together. Regardless of how he does it, a guy will try to figure out how sexually open you are and then judge you against his personal preference.

FAQs

How do you know when a guy is testing you?

You will be able to figure out if a guy is testing you if he is showing the signs above. For example, if he’s speaking about his female friends, telling you he’s got no money,  popping around to yours without any notice, or doing something crazy, he’s most likely testing you. Most guys test you in some way when they’re getting to know you, so it’s most likely that he’ll test you in at least one way!

Why would a man test you?

Most of the time men will test potential partners because they want to figure out if they can actually trust them. Of course, guys will also try and figure out if they get on with each other. Essentially, they’re just trying to find out if they will be a good fit, and if they’re not, they will walk away before committing to anything! Unfortunately, most guys do tend to test women in one way or another when they first start seeing them, so look out for it and decide to walk away if mind games start.

How do you test a guy before dating him?

Although most guys do test women when they start seeing them, it’s not a good idea to try and test a man before committing to dating him. Instead, you should just try and make sure that the man you end up dating makes you feel happy, makes you feel secure, and makes you feel loved. You shouldn’t have to test potential partners, just try and find out if they mesh well with you in a more honest and open way.

How do you tell if a guy is playing with your emotions?

You will be able to notice if a man is playing your emotions because they go from surrounding you 24/7 to running away, they’re not honest and open with you about the way they feel, they try to make you jealous, they cancel plans with you at the last minute, and they’re very obviously and consciously trying to make you confused. Get away from anyone that plays these kinds of games with you!

What makes a man fall deeply in love with a woman?

A man falls in love with a woman that he feels like he can trust, a woman that inspires him, supports him, brings passion and romance into his life. However, love is still something of a mystery! We’re all human and we just fall in love with who we fall in love with, simply for who they are.

The Bottom Line

After reading this article you should be aware of how guys test you before they decide to actually commit to you. Unfortunately, the truth is that most guys do test women whilst they get to know them, even if they don’t consciously do it! 

It’s not the end of the world if a guy is testing you, but you do need to be aware of the situation, and if it turns into emotional manipulation or abuse, get away from it as fast as possible. Did you like this article and find it useful? Tell us in the comments and feel free to share with anyone you think needs to read this!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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