Shows like House and Grey’s Anatomy have been fundamental in our fantasies over dating doctors, but is the reality as good as it can be seen on TV?
Yes, there’s something undeniably sexy about seeing your partner in a white coat. And yes, doctor/patient role play in the bedroom is something that would be MUCH hotter if your partner was an actual doctor.
But you have to be aware of the complexity of dating a doctor, and the sacrifices that might have to be made. Dating a doctor isn’t like any other normal relationship, your entire lifestyle will change.
Any relationship can be hard work; it’s just about knowing how to overcome any issues that may present themselves further down the line.
Table of Contents
Before we delve into the negatives, I think it’s important to acknowledge some positives! There are both pros and cons of dating a doctor. Now, I’m not talking about the positives of general romantic relationships, because we all know what they are. I’m talking about the specifics of dating someone in the medical field.
Let's address the elephant in the room… Am I saying that you’re dating them just for their money? Absolutely not! Am I saying that dating a partner with good money can have its perks? Absolutely.
If you happen to enter a relationship with a partner in the medical field, they’re likely to be earning a lot. That’s not to say that this is the only reason that you should enter the relationship. But it can certainly have its benefits.
According to S. Stasha, in an article for PolicyAdvice, “Doctors are paid well! The average doctor's salary is amongst the highest-paying salaries on the market in the US… The average annual doctor’s salary is around $224,190.”
Patriot, in their cost of living chart, demonstrates that California is the most expensive state to live in. Here, the annual mean wage is $68,510 with rent costing on average $1777.67 per month.
Money should never be something that we look for in a relationship, however, there are certainly benefits to being able to live comfortably.
On the back of entering a romantic relationship with a partner who’s financially stable, you may find that there’s much less stress on your future together.
If you decide to start a family, or travel, or pursue any goals that you might have together, you should be in a position where this can be done together.
Dating a doctor would certainly never be boring. Imagine the stories when they get home from work. There’s also something really sexy hearing about your partner literally saving lives!
Dating a doctor means lots of long hours and not a lot of free time. As much as this can be seen as a negative, it means that on the rare occasion that you get to spend quality time together it can be all the more special.
Any healthy relationship thrives from time apart because it can bring you closer when reunited.
Having a doctor take care of you at home is medicine by itself! Imagine not having to worry when you’re not feeling well, because your partner is a natural healer who wants to take care of you.
Dating a doctor or med student means that you’re dating someone who is compassionate and a good listener; qualities important in every relationship!
The most important positive in any relationship is the growth that you experience in yourself. Dating a doctor will help you to learn how to be independent. This will come from the time that you have to spend apart, but will help you to feel free to be yourself.
In most relationships, it can be easy to lose yourself as we spend so much time with our partners that it’s difficult to not merge as one. It’s important to remember that you are two separate people who will have differences and these differences should be not only explored but valued and celebrated.
Time apart will most definitely help with this! It is also a quality that you may find attractive in your partner, and them in you. When you merge with a partner it can often feel predictable, but seeing your partner thrive independently can be a major turn on!
We are all guilty of developing a little tickle in the back of our throats, ending up in a google spiral and then coming to the conclusion that we’re going to die.
Why do we do it to ourselves?! Do you know how many times I’ve been to the doctors and told them what’s wrong with me? It almost always ends up being nothing!
Dating a doctor is like having your own personal webmd, no more stress when googling absolutely everything that might be wrong with you.
Listen… I’m not assuming that every single doctor would be amazing in bed. However, I just want to highlight that a doctor will know absolutely everything there is to know about the female anatomy, and in turn, how to induce female pleasure.
Take it as you will, but I’m just saying… A doctor will know their stuff, if you know what I mean.
I’m sure you would be proud of your partner no matter what their profession was. However, being a doctor requires a lot of patience and dedication. It will literally be impossible for you to not admire what they do!
They will be brilliant in life or death situations as they literally know how to save a life! This is obviously perfect if you are ever in a difficult situation!
There are many more positives of dating a doctor, however it’s important that we explore a healthy balance of pros and cons in order to make a balanced decision when entering a relationship with a doctor.
Most of what it will come down to is how you and your partner communicate and resolve issues. Because believe me, sometimes it will be hard! Like in every relationship, but in this specific case it requires a little more work.
If you could name one main problem with dating a doctor, it would probably be the long working hours.
Long shifts will be the bane of your existence when dating a doctor, it’s just a matter of working around them.
Be aware that your partner will need rest time as well as the time they will have to spend with you. This is best combat when you yourself are kept busy and have something to focus on or distract you whilst they’re at work for long periods of time.
Sleeping in an empty bed is something you’ll have to get used to as your partner will often work through the night. They also may be on call for medical emergencies meaning that they will have to up and leave whatever they’re doing.
It will be incredibly difficult to have fixed plans as their schedule will constantly change due to long hours, overtime and shift patterns. This can be difficult when looking into booking a holiday or even something as simple as an uninterrupted date night.
Of course, this isn’t always the case, but this is something that could cause the most damage in your relationship with a doctor.
Working as a doctor is most definitely a high stress role, and it would be impossible to leave this stress or any other work related issues at the door and to not bring work home.
It can be incredibly distressing to lose patients, or even the amount of workload a doctor can receive.
Dating a doctor can often feel incredibly lonely at times. What you do with this feeling is up to you.
Of course, this is something that can be resolved, but if you’re someone who usually depends on a partner and struggles to have too much time away from them, then dating a doctor may not be for you.
As much as your partner may know what they’re doing in the bedroom, it’s unlikely that you’ll have sex frequently.
Your partner will most likely be stressed or often exhausted from work. This is where sex usually falls down to the bottom of people’s priorities.
With such an important career, it’s possible that you’ll not always feel like you’re your partner's number one priority; work will often come first.
Again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it simply depends on whether or not you can deal with that.
A healthy relationship can experience this problem as we all know that work can get in the way, but when your job is as important as saving lives, it’s something that's pretty much unavoidable.
Dating a doctor is all well and good. You may enjoy the time apart and thrive outside of your romantic relationship with your partner. However, when you decide you want a family, you may struggle.
In no way will your partner's affection towards a child be impacted by their job, but the time that they get to spend at home helping you raise a baby could be extremely limited. This is where long hours would really take their toll.
This one is of course entirely dependent on the couple, but we’ve all seen Grey’s Anatomy! In a hospital it's like everybody fancies each other! Maybe it's the long shifts and the amount of time they spend together.
Your partner will probably see other doctors more than you. It would be natural to feel a little jealous now and again!
Regardless of any pros or cons, we can’t help who we fall in love with! So, if you’ve found yourself fallen for a doctor, be aware that it can be both amazing and difficult, but that there are many tips that can help you combat any issues you may find whilst dating a doctor.
A conversation will 100000% be necessary when entering a serious relationship with a doctor. Explain your limits and find a middle ground together. Also, ask your partner what is expected of you as well!
Like in ANY relationship, communication is key! If you feel a little jealous, or you’re sad about the little time you’re spending together, or you’re even worried about the potential of your future together… Talk about it!
Absolutely nothing will be resolved without honesty and communication.
Don’t ever allow yourself to feel down or beneath your partner because their job is more educational or ‘serious’ than yours.
There are a thousand jobs out there, so don’t put yourself down! As long as you are happy, that is all that matters.
Celebrate your achievements together, no matter how big or small.
Your partner may be receiving a big pay increase in comparison to you finally selling your first commissioned art painting. Both are amazing! So don’t you ever feel put down or ashamed in comparison to your partner.
You will find that your situation together won’t change too much, what will change is your mindset. From the get go, your partner will spend a lot of time focusing on their career. It might just take you to wake up on the wrong side of the bed one morning for you to feel frustrated towards them and their career.
For this reason, it’s important to stay positive and to focus on yourself, always.
It will be necessary for you to support your partner; the same way I imagine you would want them to support you in return!
Yes, that might mean a lot of fancy dinners or events, but it will mean the world to them. Take the time to support each other, in and outside of work!
Like in any relationship, but especially when a partner's job can dominate a relationship, don’t compare yourself to other couples.
You and your partner will be in your own flow, and you’ll have developed an understanding of how the two of you work together. Comparing yourself to other couples can end up messy.
This is my most prominent advice in any healthy relationship, but especially in a relationship where you can often forget yourself and feel lonely. Put yourself first, always.
The very best relationships are when each partner feels sure within themselves. Only then will you be able to feel fully secure in your relationship. We must never forget our individuality!
You might be single and looking for a doctor, or you may be a doctor struggling to date as work keeps you so busy! If either one is the case, here are a few famous dating sites!
There are many dating apps out there specifically for dating doctors! Dating apps are a great way to meet doctors as they simply don’t have time to put themselves out there in any other way!
However, I would always suggest the old-school way. If you fancy your doctor, ask for his number. The worst that can happen is that he says no. You’ll feel awkward for 3 seconds and then you’ll move on. If he does say yes, imagine the possibility of where your relationship could go!
It’s also a cute story to tell the grandchildren don’t you think?
According to AMA; The code of medical ethics, “A physician must terminate the patient-physician relationship before initiating a dating, romantic, or sexual relationship with a patient. Likewise, sexual or romantic relationships between a physician and a former patient may be unduly influenced by the previous physician-patient relationship.”
However, I think it very much depends on the situation. At the end of the day, we can’t help where we meet our future partners!
Ethically, so long as there is no advantage taken of the power dynamic, and all relationships are fully consensual and outside of the workplace (for example, once you’re no longer in their care), then I personally see no issue.
A study conducted by Bloomberg found that “Female physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry male physicians and surgeons. And male physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry female physicians and surgeons.”
It makes a lot of sense due to the dedication to each job, the long hours and professional network. However, that is in no way set as a rule!
If you are in love, then 100000% it’s worth it! If you’re not dedicated to your partner and are simply dating them to pass the time, then I would suggest that it’s not worth the trouble as it can be difficult and require a lot of work and effort to make it a healthy relationship.
Dating a doctor, or in fact anyone working in a profession that requires a lot of dedication, attention, and long hours, can be incredibly difficult, but it can also be overwhelmingly exciting. There’s no better feeling than feeling proud of your partner.
Of course, you have to be willing to support them, but in any healthy relationship this is the case. It’s simply heightened when dating a doctor.
As long as the relationship is balanced, the responsibility at home is shared and the love remains strong… then it comes down to trust, honesty and communication when making things work!
If you’re out here living many of our Grey’s Anatomy fantasies and have a successful relationship with a doctor, then feel free to comment any further advice for women questioning whether or not to enter this relationship! Or feel free to share with a friend in need!