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Cold Feet Wedding (7 Serious Doubts)

by Sonya Schwartz

We’ve all heard about people getting cold feet before their wedding day, but when it happens to us personally, it can be a very confusing time. Here, in this article, we look at the signs that you are not sure whether you want to get married or not

Remember, that just because you are not sure if you want to get married or not, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t or you can’t. It just may mean that you need to talk things through with your partner at length or sort through some other issues in your life that are making you question your relationship. It is very common to get cold feet before your wedding. While you shouldn't ignore your nerves, don’t always give in to them either if you think you have a relationship worth fighting for. 

7 Signs That You May Be Suffering From Cold Feet Wedding

Here are 7 key signs that any nerves you are suffering from could be cold feet about your impending marriage. You only need to be exhibiting one or two of them to be having some worries about the way your relationship is going. Remember to talk through your worries with your partner. It is only when you talk to one another that you will come to any resolution. 

1. You dream of being with someone else

Perhaps the biggest sign that your relationship is not what you want it to be before your marriage vows is if you are dreaming of being with someone else. It doesn’t always have to be a specific person, it can simply be someone that you imagine. However, whoever it is that you are dreaming of being with, if it is anyone other than your partner, it could be that you are having second thoughts about marriage in general. 

Those second thoughts could be down to the fact that you are scared of the commitment behind marriage itself, or it could be that you are simply not as into marrying the person you are engaged to. Either way, it is crucial to talk to your partner about your worries. 

2. You don’t want to do any wedding planning

If you don’t want to do any wedding planning, it could be that your nerves are getting the better of you and that the thought of walking down the aisle is scaring you. There could be a million reasons for this. It could be that the planning itself is getting on top of you and that you don’t want to do it anymore. Family members can sometimes get involved, making what should be a pleasurable experience into one full of family politics. Sometimes, just the sheer amount of what needs to be organized can be overwhelming too. 

Or, again, it could be that you are having doubts about the relationship you are in. Either way, you need to talk it through with your partner to get the support you need. 

3. You keep thinking of relationship problems

You keep thinking of relationship problems

One of the reasons that people get cold feet before a wedding is that the stress of organizing the big day can bring out bigger issues between the happy couple. This is very common and actually it should be seen as a positive. It gives you the opportunity to resolve problems before you get married when issues can fester and become bigger than they need to be. Talk to your partner about whatever problems you think there are between the two of you. It will make your life a lot easier, in the long run, the sooner you sort the sources for the contention that you both have. 

4. You don’t want your life to change

Another of the big reasons that people get cold feet before marriage is the fact that they are actually pretty happy with how their life is at that moment in time. As a result, people get afraid of getting married, fearing that it could seismically shift something in their relationship causing more trouble than it's worth. This is crucial to discuss with your fiance as it could be a worry or doubt that they have too. Also, they are the only person that will be able to give you reassurance as to whether your life will materially change or not. 

5. You are happy with how things are

Relationships can change when marriage is involved. For many reasons, people and their dynamics can alter once they have walked down the aisle. You could be getting cold feet because you don’t want this to happen between your partner and you. 

You are most likely so in love that you don’t want to put that love in danger of being ruined simply by doing something that you are unsure of doing. If you feel like you are happy with how things are, raise this with your other half. They will hopefully put your mind at ease as to why you are both getting married in the first place. 

6. You have high anxiety

A huge sign that indicates you have cold feet prior to getting married is suffering from high anxiety in all other aspects of your life. The stress or organizing the big day as well as the pressure of getting married at all can mean you find it difficult to cope elsewhere. 

If you find that you are anxious in situations that wouldn’t ordinarily concern you, you could be exhibiting stress coming from worry about getting married. This is something that you can talk through with a good friend as well as your partner. Your partner is still best, but a good friend should hopefully be able to put your mind at rest particularly when you are anxious elsewhere in your life. 

7. You don’t want to spend time with your partner

You don’t want to spend time with your partner

Not wanting to spend time with your other half is a clear signal that you are stressed and worried about your upcoming vows. Sadly, this behavior makes the problem worse because you are not giving yourself the ability to talk through your anxieties with your fiance. Remember that a relationship is a two-way street so trying to ignore your other half is not the best way to sort through your issues. You need to talk to one another to work through problems - this is key before and after you get married. 

FAQs

Is it normal to have cold feet before the wedding?

It is very normal to have cold feet about wedding days and getting married. It is a huge life change that you are about to undertake and sometimes it can get on top of us all. The instinct to flee, which comes out as cold feet, can be overwhelming at times. Think through your worries and a way to work them out. 

Is it normal to get cold feet in a relationship?

Most couples will have cold feet in a long term relationship at some point. Two people growing old together is a lovely idea, but it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Sometimes two people simply grow apart as they change with age and what life throws at them. 

What do I do if my fiance has cold feet?

If your fiancé has cold feet it is a good idea to sit down, one on one, and talk through things and why marriage no longer appeals to him or her. It could simply be pre-wedding jitters or something a lot bigger. However, you won’t know unless you sit down with each other to discuss it. 

Is it OK to have doubts about getting married?

It may sound odd, but having doubts about getting married is actually a good thing. It means you are taking on board just how important marriage is. Plus some pre-wedding day nerves are good for a couple but do talk your doubts through too. 

What is cold feet a sign of?

Cold feet can be a sign of simple pre-wedding jitters, but it can also be a sign of something more serious. If you are getting cold feet, think about what it is that is making you nervous and making you question whether you should get married or not. Then, talk those thoughts through with your partner. 

What Wedding Cold Feet Mean? - Conclusion

Getting cold feet before your wedding is very common. It can mean a variety of things - either your own individual issues with commitment, how you deal with the stress of organizing a wedding, or sometimes larger issues with your relationship itself. 

Whatever it is, it is imperative you talk it through with your partner. He or she is the only one that will be able to give you the reassurance, help, or support you need to get through the pre-wedding jitters. It is also good for the respect and balance of your relationship. Opening up the lines of communication to let each other know how you are feeling is fundamental to a long term relationship being a loving and happy one. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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