Is there a man in your life who you just can’t stop thinking about?
Maybe you want to get him off your mind - but it’s just too difficult?
If so, you’re in the right place. This guide explores why you might be feeling like this and what you can do to get this guy off your mind.
But first, I want to share a story that you might find incredibly useful.
A few years ago, I discovered an article about a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
This primal line of thinking appears to be deeply held by most men - and it can have a huge impact on how they feel about the women in their life.
When a woman learns how to trigger it in a man, it’s common that he will begin to experience deeper feelings of affection and devotion towards her.
The more I read, the more it made sense, so I thought I’d test the principles on a man I had just started dating.
It turned out that all the information was true. That guy started chasing me HARD - and this has been the case with other men I have dated since (read my personal story to learn more).
It turns out this psychological trigger releases deeply-held feelings of purpose and power within a man. Naturally, he’ll feel a lot of affection towards any woman who can make him feel this way.
So, if there’s a special guy in your life who you wish had stronger feelings towards you, I’d urge you to read the story of how I discovered the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
Of course, it may be that the ship has sailed for the guy who you are obsessing over - and you just want to find a way to forget about him.
If so, the advice below will help you.
Table of Contents
We're going to jump straight in and take a look at the five reasons that could be behind the fact you can't stop thinking about this guy. Some of the reasons are more tailored towards after a breakup, and some are for when you've just met someone and they're filling your thoughts already. Hopefully, out of the five reasons listed, you will be able to resonate with one, or maybe multiple, and it will give you the reason your mind is in overdrive at the moment.
We're going to start off with probably the most obvious reason that you won't be able to stop thinking about somebody - you are in love with them. When we find ourselves in love with someone, our brain pushes us to think about them constantly. There are three main different scenarios that you could be experiencing when it comes to thinking of someone all the time because you're in love, and they will feel very different.
You might be in love with someone you just met, or that you're dating. This is definitely the nicest reason for your brain to be filled with thoughts of someone constantly. This person will be filling your thoughts, and you will probably find yourself daydreaming about what the future between the two of you will be like because you want them so much.
You may be in love with somebody that you can't have - maybe someone that's already in a relationship. This is an extremely difficult situation to be in because you have such strong feelings for someone, but there's nothing you can do about it. Regardless of whether you can or can't do anything about the way you feel, you could still be in love with someone. If this is the situation you're in, you might notice that your mind is split between thinking about them and thinking about how you shouldn't be thinking about them.
You might still be in love with somebody that you have been in a relationship with, but you are no longer with. It's completely normal to still feel in love with an ex-partner. After all, feelings don't just disappear as soon as you break up with somebody. Your love for that person will still be there, even if you wish it wasn't because they have hurt you.
If you meet somebody that you're interested in, your mind might jump straight onto this and use them as a distraction from other things in your life that are happening. For example, if you are struggling at work, or you're having a rough time with your family, your mind might be filled with thoughts about this guy you've just met, or the person you have just started dating. You probably realize that it's not normal to be thinking about a new romance so much so early on, but you just can't stop. When you think about this person, your mind might conjure up lots of questions about what you're going to wear next time you see them, how you're going to impress them and what you're going to do. You will then focus on answering all of these questions, and probably spend a lot of time fantasizing about what could happen with them. You have successfully distracted yourself from the difficult things that might be happening in your life.
This reason will only apply if you have just broken up with a guy, but if you have, it may be the reason he is stuck in your head. You may be stuck thinking about how things could have worked out differently between the two of you, and you may find yourself replaying the break up over and over in your head trying to work it all out. If the break up was sudden, this will certainly be the case. You can't stop thinking about this man because you are holding on to all of the anger and confusion that you felt and perhaps still feel, about breaking things off with him. In addition to this, you might be looking over the relationship and thinking of all the memories you had together. After leaving a relationship, especially a long term relationship, it's completely normal to not be able to get that guy out of your head.
A guy might be on your mind if you feel particularly lonely. This will can be the reason if you have just met somebody that you're interested in, or if you have just come out of a relationship, so we will take a look at both scenarios.
If you find yourself thinking continually about a man that you have just met, it could be because you are lonely and you miss being with somebody. If you haven't been in a relationship for a long time, you might be slightly obsessed with imagining this man as your partner and how amazing it could be between the two of you, because then you wouldn't be alone anymore. You probably don't even want this guy, you just want somebody to be with.
If you constantly think about your ex-partner, it could be because you're feeling lonely after leaving the relationship. If you've just broken up with your partner, you might have trouble adjusting to the single life, and you might find it lonely to have to do a lot of things without him. It can be especially lonely to sleep by yourself after being in a relationship, and you might realize that you can't stop thinking about him especially in the evenings.
It's no secret that women like to have projects to work on, weirdly and unfortunately, especially when that comes in the form of a man. You might not be able to stop thinking about a particular guy because he is such an enigma to you, and you want to figure him out. You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what he meant by something he said or trying to find out if he likes you or not. You won't be able to get him out of your head, and it will only get worse, until it gets to the point where you know you are thinking about him way too much.
Now we've covered a few of the reasons you might be out of control thinking about this man, It's a good idea to take a look at the ways how to stop thinking about him. Let's be honest, you've probably come to the realization that you are thinking way too much about this man, and that's why you're here! So, let's take a look at some tips you can use to reprogramme your brain to stop thinking of him!
This sounds like really contradictory advice because obviously you do want to stop thinking of him. However, the more you try to push him out of your head, the more he will stick in there. You will just continue getting wound up every time your mind won't leave this man alone. Don't put effort into trying not to think of him - because even trying not to means you're thinking of him. Instead, don't give any of your energy to it. Every time you do find yourself thinking of him, don't beat yourself up about it, just simply start thinking about something else. Try to always think of something you know makes you happy, as this will help to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
You're going to find it increasingly harder to push him out of your mind if he is constantly in your life. You need to take a break from this guy to help you get over thinking of him.
If you have just broken up with him, then you should delete or block him off your social media until you feel ready to see his face pop up on your phone again, and you should avoid hanging out with him or speaking to him. It does help to let him know you want some space, so he can make sure he stays away from you.
If you have just started dating a guy, then you could make a pact with yourself to only see him once or twice a week so you can keep your cool. You could limit yourself looking on his social media and hold off on texting him until he texts you. Just take a step back if you're getting too ahead of yourself and the relationship between the two of you.
One of the best ways to make sure you don't have this person on your mind all the time is to start doing other things with your time. Have you ever wanted to start a new hobby or join a club? If so, now is the perfect time to do that! Dig your teeth into your workload, hang out with your friends more or plan trips to see your family. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, start to do it more!
If you have just started dating someone, it will be attractive to them to know that you have your own, independent life that you're busy with. It also makes sure that the two of you have a lot to speak about when you do see each other.
If you have just broken up with someone, it's so vital that you start to occupy your time by doing things you want to. It will make you feel a lot better about the breakup, take your mind away from being sad, and you never know, you might even meet someone new by getting out there more!
Imagine if you showed yourself the same amount of time that you are giving this guy? How about loving yourself in the way you think you love him? If you start to show yourself some love and focus on number one for once, great things will happen. Self-love is essential in life, as it leads to high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem and makes you feel whole. It will be especially helpful to shower yourself in self-love and care if you have realized that you're thinking about this guy too much because you're lonely, or if you have just come out of a relationship with him. It's crucial that you learn how to love yourself before you love someone else anyway.
This is an essential 'To Do' if you think the reason you can't get this person out of your head is that you are using them as a distraction from other problems in your life. If you have come to this realization, then there isn't a better time to try and get the aspects of your life that you're not happy with, turned around. Not only do you clearly need to deal with these aspects, but it will also be healing to fix some problems you have. Maybe this is the exact bit of something you needed to read to start you off on a life fixing mission!
This point will apply to those that have just gone through a breakup. One of the most important things you need to do is forgive this man, otherwise, you will never be able to move forward from it and you will think about him for a much longer time than you need to. Forgiving someone that has hurt you can be one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do, but it's also the best way you can be released for holding yourself back. It's completely up to you how you choose to forgive this man and you will know what the best way is for you. A lot of people feel like they can forgive someone without having to see them, but you might feel like you need to see them. If you feel like you need to say you forgive this guy to his face, then get in touch with him and do it. However, you need need to know that this may be triggering if you have just broken up.
It's also essential that you forgive yourself, as well as him. If you are the reason that the relationship broke up, you need to forgive yourself so that you can stop repeating the situation over and over in your head. You also need to forgive yourself for spending so much time thinking about this guy.
Forgiveness is one of the most important factors in moving on from a breakup.
Obviously, this point will apply to those who can't stop thinking about someone they can never have, someone they've met once, or their ex-partner. Before you move on, you need to make sure that you have spent some time working through your own issues regarding the person you couldn't stop thinking about. It's normally best to make sure this person is fully out of your head before moving on, but it's not essential, as long as you aren't going to project your issues onto someone else.
It's important that you get back onto the dating scene for many reasons. The first being that it may help you to see that there are so many men out there that want to get to know you and are interested in you. Secondly, it will help you to stop thinking about the person that was so trapped in your head because it will take your mind off it. Lastly, you may even meet someone really special that you weren't expecting to.
If you're nervous about getting back onto the dating scene, I would recommend easing into it. For instance, you can go out with a girlfriend for a few drinks and be open to the idea of someone flirting with you.
I really hope that this article can help you to figure out why you can't stop thinking about somebody in particular, and hopefully provided some tips on how to stop thinking about a guy. This is something pretty much every woman will go through at some point in her life, so don't worry about it too much.
Did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.