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Why Don’t Guys Like Me? (10 Harsh Truths)

by Sonya Schwartz

According to studies found by Psychology Today, many people suffer from drug addiction, where the drug is people who reject us. The study showed that these people’s brains literally associate motivation, reward, cravings, and even physical pain with the person they can’t have. 

Yikes! Does that seem like what you’re feeling right now? Wanting someone you can’t have? We physically crave those who don’t want us back. In my opinion, we need to change our thinking. Instead of going after people who we can’t have, try aiming for those that like you.

If you are wondering, “Why don’t guys like me?” you are in luck because this article will help shed some light on the subject. Do you have a guy you think may like you but aren’t sure? If you want to know if he feels the same for you, consider taking this quiz.

In this article, we will look at the 10 possible reasons he’s just not into you. Plus, we’ll cover other reasons he may not like you. Finally, we’ll look at how you can get out of the friend zone.

10 Reasons Guys Don’t Like You

1. You are too needy.

You may need too much attention. Are you always needing “guy help?” Need someone to fix something around the house? Watch for the difference between needing help and just wanting it. There are plenty of things you can do on your own!

2. You talk too much.

 You talk too much

Don’t be overeager. If there’s one thing that people don’t like, it’s a chatterbox, someone who only talks about themselves and their interests. It’s especially annoying if you only talk about the one thing that nobody can relate to, the thing that only you like.

3. You have poor listening skills.

This goes right along with the last point. If you talk non-stop, when do you have time to listen to someone else talk about their interests? You need to learn to listen more and talk less. Ask questions that will help you get to know your crush better. You’ll learn more about them and may find some common interests you can discuss together.

4. You create drama.

You crave excitement and drama: guys hate this. They don’t want to be with a high-maintenance, impatient woman. Instead, they feel like a woman who can take care of herself and her problems without blowing everything out of proportion is more appealing. Don’t be purposefully argumentative and high-strung. 

5. You are too intimidating.

Are you a little stuck up, full of yourself, or arrogant? Some guys are just intimidated by girls they don’t think they can have. They feel like you are out of their league and don’t want to risk rejection. Try being more relatable, approachable, and easy-going.

6. You are inflexible.

Are you picky about every single thing in your life? Guys aren’t interested in girls they have to pamper too much. They would rather be with someone who is easy to get along with and fun to hang out with!

7. You have trouble making decisions.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Do you need advice on the smallest decisions? Girls who are too indecisive are turn-offs. They just seem to be too high maintenance to guys.

8. You have too high of expectations.

If you have healthy expectations, great! However, if guys feel like no matter what they do, it won’t be good enough for you, they would rather move on to find someone different, a person who they won’t constantly let down. Guys know you require more than they are willing to give.

9. You are selfish.

If every single thing you concentrate on is about you and your problems, that’s a big turn-off. If you always have to have your way, you may be suffering from selfishness. This is something you can work on, though. Try focusing on the other person more.

10. You are passive-aggressive.

Do you nag and refuse to let any little thing go? Do you expect men to read your mind to know exactly what you want in your love life? Guys hate this. They prefer to be in a relationship with a girl who will say what she means and clarify how she feels. Try being more straightforward about your wants and needs. 

How To Make Guys Like You

The first thing you can do to get guys to like you is to work on making things more about him than you. If you learn to focus on other people rather than yourself, you have the potential to be in a great relationship. This means listening more and talking less. God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason; take that into consideration the next time you’re around your crush.

The second thing you can do to find a healthy relationship is to become more independent. If you usually wait for a guy to do things like kill bugs or take out the trash, you are being high-maintenance, and guys aren’t into that. Learn to do things on your own. I recommend checking out the book, The Modern Girl’s Guide to Sticky Situations by Buckingham.

The final thing you should work on is your attitude. Work on being less stuck-up and get rid of your passive-aggressive tendencies. If your expectations are too high for any guy to meet, they won’t ask you out for fear of rejection. If you don’t know if you are being picky enough, I recommend the book, Date or Soul Mate. It can help you have healthy expectations.

Other Reasons Why Guys May Not Be Into You

Some men just don’t want to settle down right now. While “bad boys,” especially those that aren’t into us, are appealing, is it really realistic to be with someone who doesn’t want the same things you do? Probably not. 

Instead, focus on available men who are ready and want a relationship. These men will be more receptive to liking you. Give the “nice” ones a chance. They may not be as exciting as the ones you can’t have, but give it time, and you may find that they can rock your world!

1. Commitment Issues

Commitment Issues

Some men just don’t want to settle down. Instead, they want to date around and aren’t looking for anything serious. They enjoy their alone time and have no desire to be in a serious relationship. For men like this, either accept his restrictions or move on.

2. Trust Issues

There are many men who have been through a betrayal by another woman and just aren’t ready to date someone else. They are still damaged from their last relationship. These men need time to heal. Give them this time and just consider them to be guy friends until they are ready for something more.

3. Other Baggage

No one likes having to carry around baggage, but it comes with the territory. Some men have trust, commitment, and other issues going on. These men need time to lick their wounds. For a guy who carries around a lot of baggage, you may want to just consider him a guy friend until he’s ready for a relationship.


Why do I like a guy who doesn't like me?

We often choose someone who doesn’t feel the same as we do because they’re like the “forbidden fruit” from the garden of Eden. Being into someone who doesn’t return our feelings is somewhat exciting to our brains. It is my recommendation that you go after guys who share your feelings. 

Why do I always fall for guys that don't like me back?

Often, those we can’t have make us just want them more. It’s very similar to the phrase, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” We want what we can’t have because we think it’s better than what we can have or what we do have. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

What do you do if a guy doesn't like you?

It’s best to move on. If someone isn’t as fond of you as you are of them, there’s no point in wasting your time with them. Instead, focus on the people who like you back or ones you can win over. However, you can try to win this guy over.

How do I get guys to like me?

Check out the advice in this article. Sometimes, just being a little mysterious can catch a guy’s attention. Show that you are unique and busy; play a little hard to get. Guys love chasing after girls who they think they cannot have, so practice being hard to get.

How do you make him miss you like crazy?

Be intoxicating when you are around him, a creature unlike any other, an enigma, if you will. You will have him hooked right away. Then, when you aren’t around him, he won’t be able to stop thinking about you. That will surely make him miss you like crazy!

In Summary…

Can’t figure out why guys aren’t into you? Did this article shed some light on the subject for you? What would you add to my list? What problems with men are you going through?

Please respond in the comments section and share this article! We’d love to hear from you!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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