Search icon

23 Things To Realize When A Guy Talks About His Ex

February 23, 2023

Does your man talk about his ex a lot? 

Do you wonder why he’d do such a thing? Perhaps you wouldn’t dream about doing that in front of a new partner.

The first thing I’ll say about this is: it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants her back. 

In fact, there are actually lots of reasons he might be talking about her to you. I have listed 23 of the most common reasons below. 

Still, if you can’t shake the fear that your man might be trying to get back with his ex, I have the perfect tool to help you out. 

This powerful online tracker tool can reveal who he is messaging the most, what apps he’s using, whether he’s using secret alternate contact details and a lot more. 

A lot of women use this tool as a means of calming their paranoia over infidelity. 

Of course, if the tool reveals a ton of red flags, these women can find out that it’s time to break things off. 

It’s a win-win. 

The tool is 100% discreet, so there is no reason not to give it a try. Better that than to let these paranoid feelings ruin your relationship.

In most cases, you have no reason to worry about your partner getting back with their ex, even if he talks about her a lot.  

Read on for my list of reasons why he might be doing this.

When A Guy Talks About His Ex To You: 23 Things You Need To Know

If you are dating someone or in a new relationship with someone and they keep talking about their ex, it may not be a sign that he is still in love, however, you can find out a lot about this person. Notice how they talk about their ex-girlfriend to find out what kind of a person he is in a relationship. 

1. He speaks negatively

He speaks negatively

If he speaks extremely negatively about his past relationships or past girlfriends, it may be a sign that he is not a positive person and he may not be a good person to consider being in a relationship with. You want someone that won’t speak negatively of you if things don’t happen to work out. 

2. He calls her crazy

If he calls his ex-girlfriend crazy it is definitely not a good sign, and it may be a better idea to avoid committing to him. If he says that she was the sole cause of the relationship breaking up, it may be more of a reflection on him than on her. He will likely blame everything on her so that he looks like the victim in the breakup. 

3. He’s still in love with her

If this man talks as if he is still in love with her ex, he probably is. If he can’t stop thinking about her or talking about her it is a sign that he isn’t over her and he is still in love with her. If he cannot fully commit to you, it is probably time to walk away from him. If he acts as if she is perfect in every way, there is no way that you are going to be happy together.  

4. He’s over her

If he can say positive things about his past, but he doesn’t act in a way that makes you think he’s still in love with her, he’s probably a good person and there is no need to consider ending things with him. He knows that relationships are not always easy and they don’t always work out, but he doesn’t blame it on her. 

5. He’s mature

If he tells you that he broke up with his ex, but things are amicable between them and they are still on speaking terms, it is probably a sign that he is mature. Just because things didn’t work out in his past relationships, doesn’t mean that the same will happen with you. And if things don’t work out he won’t talk badly about you to other people. 

6. He’s not dramatic

If you hear about his ex and his breakup, but he tells you that they just drifted apart and they just weren’t right for each other, then it is a sign that he’s a calm and collected person. You are not likely to get any drama with him even if things don’t work out between you. He won’t cause a big dramatic scene if you happen to just drift apart from each other. 

7. He needs kindness

If your new boyfriend talks about his ex or the hurt caused by his last relationship, he may be looking for kindness and for someone to listen to him openly. Just because he mentions his past relationship to you, it doesn’t mean that he is still in love with her, and it is important that you don’t dismiss the relationship straight away because of this, be kind first. 

8. He needs time

He needs time

If you have been dating a man for a while and mentions his past relationship you may be wondering is he still in love with his ex? However, it may just be his way of trying to let you know that he needs a bit more time before he can commit to a relationship with you. If he has been open and honest with you, give him the time and space that he needs. 

9. He sees similar qualities in you

Often, when a person has recently got out of a serious relationship, they will either look for a new partner that is similar or completely opposite to their previous partner. If he mentions his ex to you it may be that he sees similar qualities and characteristics in you. He may just be bringing his ex up because he sees these similarities in your personalities, but he means no harm by it. 

10. He does care for you

Just because he talks about his ex or mentions his previous relationship, it does not mean that he cares for you any less, nor does it necessarily mean that he wishes he was back with her. If he is comfortable enough to speak about his past openly with you, it is, in fact, a good sign that you have a good bond and he is serious about you. 

11. He wants you to listen

If he speaks to you about his it may just be because he wants to be completely open with you about his past. That he wants to tell you about everything that went on before you is usually a good sign. However, if he speaks about her a little too fondly and appears to reminisce about his past, it may be a sign to walk away. 

12. He needs closure

If his breakup is still fresh and you met each other quickly after he left his previous relationship, you need to be aware that he may be looking for closure. If you do want to see whether you have a future with this man, it is important to be understanding and listen to what he has to say. Help him to get the closure he needs, as long as you feel comfortable too. 

13. It is normal

It is also important to remember that it is pretty normal to talk about an ex when you enter a new partnership. Consider whether you have ever spoken about an ex-boyfriend when you have started dating a new person. People often naturally talk about their past when they start dating new people. 

14. He has his guard up

Perhaps his previous relationship left him hurt and scarred and now he has his guard up and finds it difficult to let new people in. It may be the case that he realizes this himself and he is trying to be honest with you about why he is acting in this way. If this is how you think he is acting, it is a good sign that he is beginning to break down these defenses for you. 

15. He wants you to understand

If he mentions his ex to you and tells you the reasons that they broke up, it may be because he wants you to know the reasons for the break-up and why things didn’t work out between them. He may want you to know because he likes you a lot and wants to ensure that the same things don’t happen between you. 

16. He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes

If he tells you about his past, he may be at the same time making a promise to himself to not make the same mistakes again. If he has committed to you and is telling you about the mistakes he made in the past, it may be a good sign, as long as he sticks to his promises. 

17. You need to be honest with him too

You need to be honest with him too

If his talk about his past is making you uncomfortable even if you don’t think that he wants to get back with his ex, it is important that you are honest with him about how it is making you feel. Don’t start this relationship by holding things back from each other. So, if it is making you feel upset or uncomfortable, make sure to tell him so. 

18. Tell him you are different

If he tells you about how his ex hurt him, it may be necessary to tell him that you are different and you would never treat him in the same way. However, again, if it does make you uncomfortable to talk about it, tell him that it does. 

19. He’s insecure

Perhaps he feels like he was at fault in his past and he felt like his ex didn’t think he was good enough. He may mention his ex because he is insecure and he wants to know whether you really like him or not. Be honest about how you feel about him and help him through his insecurities. 

20. His family members still speak to her

It may be the case that his ex still speaks to members of his family so that she is still a part of his life in some way. He may talk about her to you because he doesn’t want to make it awkward if you happen to bump into each other during a family occasion. 

21. He hasn’t moved on

If he speaks about his ex and it is clear to you that he hasn’t moved on, it is necessary to tell him so. Tell him to take time and space to really move on.

22. He’s confused

If he speaks about his ex often, he may be completely confused as to what he wants. He is obviously not sure about you, so be honest with yourself. 

23. He needs to set boundaries

If he is committed to you but he still speaks about his ex, it may be necessary to tell him you think that he needs to set boundaries and avoid talking like this about his past. Have one conversation about it and then set boundaries.


What does it mean when a guy talks about his ex all the time?

If a man talks about his ex all of the time it may not necessarily mean that he is still hung up on her but it will reveal a lot about his personality and how he is likely to treat someone else. If you want to find out how he may treat you as his future girlfriend, listen to how he talks about his past. 

What does it mean if a guy brings up his ex?

If a man talks about his ex, he may be still in love with them. However, it can reveal a lot about him and it could be a potential red flag. If he talks about his ex in an entirely negative way when she isn’t there to defend herself or tell her side of the story, it might be a sign that he is not as nice a person as you may have originally thought. 

What does it mean when someone talks about their ex?

If someone talks a lot about their ex, it is usually not a good sign. Either they are still in love with their ex and trying to get over them, meaning that you are likely one of a string of rebound relationships or it may be a bad sign for other reasons. If he is still angry about things that happened in the past, it may be a sign that he is not good for you.

How do you tell if he still loves his ex?

If someone still loves his ex they will likely mention them a lot even without realizing. Your relationship with him maybe rebound if this is the case. If he’s still in love with her, he will not be able to fully commit to you. If he talks about her a lot or subconsciously mentions her all of the time, it is not really a good sign and he probably does still love her. 

How do you tell if he's not over his ex?

If you want to tell whether someone is over their ex or not, notice their behavior in your relationship. If he commits himself fully to you, then there is likely no problem. However, if he is still hung up or angry about the past or he cannot commit completely to your relationship, it is a sign that he hasn’t moved on from the past and he’s not fully over his ex. 

To Sum Up

When someone talks about their ex or their past relationship, pay attention to what they say is you can find out a lot about his personality and how he will act in a relationship with you too. The way someone talks about others can reveal a lot of things about them as a person and how they treat others. 

Let us know what you thought in the comments and don’t forget to share this article! 


Join Our Newsletter

Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life.
Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.