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Husband Talks About Female Coworker (Should I Be Worried?)

Last updated on June 8, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Are you worried about your husband’s relationship with a female co-worker? 

Do you shake with jealousy and fear whenever he mentions her?

Or perhaps your suspicions have grown now that he’s stopped talking about her? 

If you’re feeling like this, you need to dig deeper to find out what’s going on. 

Workplace affairs are a common threat to marriages, and there’s little you can do to prevent them. 

Your best bet is to find evidence that proves whether anything is going on.

Thankfully, there is a powerful online tool which can do that for you  (click here to check it out). 

This tool only needs a few of your partner’s details to deliver an extensive background check on his communications. You’ll discover who he’s been calling and messaging, how often and what applications he’s been using to do it.

If he’s downloaded Tinder, bought a new phone number or partaken in any suspicious communications, you’ll know about it.  

This tool is the key that’ll reveal just how close your partner is getting to other women. 

And he’ll never know you’ve used it…

Below, our guide explains the scenarios where you’re most entitled to be suspicious about your husband’s female co-workers. 

When to Worry About Your Husband’s Female Coworker

Your husband striking up a new friendship with a female coworker can be difficult. Of course you can’t tell him that he’s not allowed female friends, but what happens when a work relationship starts to blossom into something more?

Most relationships between male and female colleagues are purely platonic, and it’s more than likely that your husband’s female coworker is just a good friend. But the following signs could indicate that there’s something more going on between your spouse and his ‘work wife’ and signify that it’s time to have a chat with your husband about his new friend.

1. He Starts Seeing Her Outside of Office Hours

If your husband starts seeing his ‘work wife’ outside of office hours, then you might be worried about their work relationship blossoming into something more. If they’re working on a big project with a tight deadline, or his job requires out-of-hours contact, then there’s very little cause for concern.

However, if they start going out for meals, to the cinema or just catching up over a coffee, it might be worth having a chat with your husband and letting him know their extra-curricular activities are making you uncomfortable.

Any understanding husband should acknowledge your concerns and talk you through his relationship with his colleague in order to put your mind at ease and reassure you that there’s nothing untoward going on.

But if your husband becomes defensive, angry or tries to deny your allegations, then this might be a sign that your anxieties are justified and that there’s something more going on between him and his colleague.

2. You See Texts From Her on His Phone

Whether he’s got a separate work phone, or you’ve noticed him going on his phone a lot more in the evenings - if your husband is texting his female coworker outside of office hours, then this might be a red flag.

There are, of course, instances where there’s no cause for concern, such as work emergencies, or conversing about big projects. However, if you’ve noticed texts unrelated to work, or any sign of flirting, then you might have something to worry about.

Although it’s possible that your husband is just good friends with his coworker, you need to address the issue head on and let him know that it’s making you feel uncomfortable and find out exactly what is going on between the two of them.

Your husband may not have realized how suspicious his actions look to you, but a quick conversation can help to put your mind at ease and give him a chance to change his behavior.

3. He Won’t Let You Meet Her

If the relationship between your husband and his female coworker makes you uncomfortable, then you might be keen to meet her in order to alleviate any concerns you have about the two of them.

If your husband agrees to setting up a meeting with the three of you and goes out of his way to introduce you to his work mate, then you can rest assured that their relationship is purely platonic and that he believes that she sees him purely as a guy friend.

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However, if your husband avoids your requests to meet her and it’s clear that the two of you meeting makes him uncomfortable, then you should probably take this as a sign that their relationship might be something to worry about. After all, no man would be willing to introduce his wife to a woman he has feelings for.

A platonic friendship is no cause for concern, so your husband should be happy that you want to meet his new work mate. However, if their friendship has crossed the line into something more and your husband is acting shifty when you say you want to meet her, then this is another sign that you may need to bring up your feelings about their relationship with him.

4. He Compares You to Her

It can be frustrating and upsetting when your husband compares you to other women, especially when you’re not completely comfortable with their relationship in the first place.

If your husband starts to compare you to his female colleague,  such as her work ethic, or the fact that she goes to the gym more often than you - it might be a sign that he’s making more comparisons in his head and weighing up his relationship with both of you.

Additionally, this might be an indicator that your husband isn’t one hundred percent happy with everything in your marriage. Whether you don’t pay him as much attention as you used to, or he just doesn’t feel his needs are being met - comparing you to other women in his life can allude to the fact that there’s something deeper going on.

Although it may be a little difficult, bringing it up with your husband and letting him know that being compared to other women upsets you will give him the chance to discuss any of his concerns with you at the same time and help you two to sort out any issues in your marriage.

5. He Buys Gifts for Her

The office secret Santa is no cause for concern, however, if your husband starts buying gifts for his female coworker, this could indicate that their platonic friendship has crossed the line into something more.

If you find out that your husband has been buying gifts for his colleague, then you should certainly approach him about it. Whether he tells you she’s just gone through a bad break up, or she was celebrating a special birthday - if your husband is buying gifts for another woman, you’ve got every right to be angry and upset - especially if it’s on your joint bank account!

Whether it’s a box of chocolates or a personalized piece of jewelry, giving another woman a gift is crossing a line and you need to discuss it with your husband as soon as possible. It’s likely he thought he was just doing a nice thing for a friend, but if you don’t address smaller issues, there’s every chance that your husband will continue to blur the lines and cause major problems in your marriage. 

When Not to Worry About Your Husband’s Female Colleague

Although your husband talking about another woman can spark feelings of jealousy, it’s important to keep in mind that your husband spends a lot of time at work and it’s more than likely that he and his female colleagues are just good friends.

1. He Speaks About Her in a Platonic Way

Next time your husband talks about his female colleague, you should listen to the way he talks about her. Does he comment on her looks, or does he talk about the excellent report she submitted that day?

If it’s the latter, then it’s more than likely that your husband’s friendship is nothing to worry about and he simply has a lot of respect for his female colleague - after all, men can have female friends without there being anything to worry about.

2. They Don’t Speak Outside of Work

Although you may be worried about your husband’s work relationship becoming something more, if your husband doesn’t contact his female colleague outside of work, then it’s likely that there’s nothing more going on between them.

Equally, if they don’t follow each other on social media, then this may also put your mind at rest. Just because your husband frequently talks about a woman he works with, you’ve got no reason to worry if he’s not interested in her life outside of work, confirming that their relationship is purely professional.

3. He Alleviates Your Worries

One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is communication, so rather than silently worrying about his relationship with a woman he works with, it’s important to discuss it with him to put your mind at rest.

It’s likely your husband has no idea about the way you’re feeling, allowing him to address your concerns and stop worrying about his colleague every time he goes to work.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

2 comments on “Husband Talks About Female Coworker (Should I Be Worried?)”

  1. Im struggling to figure out my own husband. When he talks about hes coworker, he has a sense of smile but when he sees my face thats burning with jealousy, he starts to bicker at me saying that he's not comfortable talking to me about work because it annoys him. I don't know how to look or what to say to him because i feel its gonna start a big argument so I know that he's with her for 8 hours five days a week and that's scary to me knowing that he doesnt speak so lightly to me and just goes to sleep when he comes home.

  2. My husband and I love each other very much. We have been happily married for over 19 years. We are in our early 40s. We moved for his work. We have been in the community for over a year now. My husband has openly addressed his feelings towards his female employee and he said it scares him. He has this super hero tendasi to help women who use to be in an abused relationship (like I was before him). When she openly talked about her past being abused he said he felt like he wanted to give her a big hug. But didn't because of professionalism. He said it scared him and doesn't like the feeling of having this feeling towards her. Because he knows he will lose me. I wasn't mad or got into an argument. But moreso was just listening to him. Then he said a small want of feeling of wanting both of us. When he said that, he knew my answer. I told him "well you know my answer to that, if something was ever to happen between you guys. I'm going to be mad, of course hurt, sad for you, us, our kids, sad for her, her family that's she's growing, and want to help you as a friend but not as a wife because we're raising children that I/we want them to be strong and I want them to grow up with you in the picture. And I trust that you will always do what's right and I understand that in a temptation situation things might happen and pray you will be strong enough to fight it. You know for every wrong choice has its consequences and you will need to pay for that choice". He thanked me for my comment but sad that I wont be there for him as a wife in helping him repent. He never hides his text instead shows them to me. You can tell she misses him when she is out in the field because of the amount of texts she sends out. He tells me she is the female version of him because of how much they have a lot in common. Her body type is close to my body type and he said ever since he said to her that he likes burnette she started dying her hair the same color my hair. He likes her perfume so he tells me if I like it and if so, I should get it because it smells really good. He can tell she likes him because of so many hints or actions she does. Like looks she gives him, or containly wanting to be around him. She asked her office be in the same office room as he because she said that the guys are making to much noise. She has one daughter and baby LOVES my husband. My husband always gushed on how cute she is and tells me how much she is falling in love with the baby girl. We have 3 boys and 1 girl. He loves babies! He is such a family man. We like doing service to our community, so when she needed help with whatever she knows to call on my husband for help. And when service is needed he includes me to her place. Her fiance had an accident at work so he is not able to do heavy lifting. She has clients that she visits on a weekly purpose. She never got a proper training so he rides with her to visits all her clients. He goes with her ones a week. The distant of each clients are half an hour to 1 hour long of a drive. So thats when they talk about all sorts of stuff. Yesterday he told me that she is asking if he can ride with her again (so this week will be 2 times in one week if he goes) saying all the problem that she is having and need help fixing things etc. He declines because of work he needs to do and just teach her how to fix problems. Saying these problems you can do on your own, you got this. She frowned sadness and tells him. "Aww it gets so lonely driving and you make road trip so much fun!". Recently on their trip. His parents house was on the way back home so he introduced her to them. Which she told me when I saw her. She loves them! Many times she tells me how much she adores me etc. My husband tells me she had mentioned how much she loves me etc. He jokingly tells her "are you having lesbian feelings towards my wife?!". Recently other employees are coming up to him and asking if there was something going on between the two of them because of how close friendship they are developing. Whenever this employee is around them and she walks out. He would address to my husband of how she looked at him like in shock of disbelief of what he witnessed. My husband just brushed it off and played like he didn't see it. But he told me he saw it and didn't want to acknowledge it. My husband has always been a guy who will take care of his looks but lately he has been doing extra. Like he told me a time they were talking about what type of guy she likes. Ironically he was thinking of having a different hair style like having long hair and putting it in a bun. When he mentioned this to her. He said the way she reacted was like as if she just had an organism but kept her mouth shut. Which he thought was amusing and funny. Now he is really thinking hard about having long hair. I have never seen my husband with long hair. He always had like a military hair cut. Lately the thought of boss and secretary having sex arouses me and we have been having sex every single day. I'm 40 and feel like I've been very horny lately. Like I can and want to have sex 3 times a day. I'm not sure if this is a weird coincidence or not but I know it is taking care of my husband sexually. We even did a ro-play of boss and secretary. It was fun until I had said that I was her. It threw him off and because of ro playing he went along with it. But afterwards he said he didn't like me playing as her because he doesn't want to have feelings like that. But he said I can pretend to be her if thats whats I want to do and if thats my fantasy. We always have really amazing good sex and rarely bad ones. So he thinks about what happened the night before and thinks about it all day at work. Sometimes he calls me and tells me how much he is having a hard time focusing at work because of what we did etc. Whenever we flirt in text he would sometimes respond by saying she is cracking up because she happened to see it (only when she is by his desk). She thinks we're cute and amazing that we still act like young couples dating. She's 10 years younger than us. I'm not sure if my mind is going crazy, that I should be strict on my husband. But if I do that he won't be opened to me. We have always been opened to each other and this is the first were I feel a bit awkward towards everything. And this is the first where he has a female employee. Most of his past management office. It's only guys in the work field. And as always if I'm off at something he can tell and ask if everything is OK?! He told me if this whole thing with her is making me unhappy or unease and he will go back to straight business and no building 2nd family work environment. I appreciated his concern and for the first time couldn't give him an answer because I am having a hard time thinking about weather I should be worried or not. I've read every Google signs of cheating signs. And from what I'm seeing it's 50/50 with my husband. I am getting a feeling of where it is at. It's the first stage of future affair. He told me her face is not what he would fall for its her body, her personality. Her personality reminds him of me before our kids; super bubbly,very strong willed etc. He said I haven't changed much . He said she's not super attractive but not ugly either. He mentioned to me that we should do a double date with them. One time she texted him to see if we wanted to meet up at a store. When we got there he was like oh look they're here. She was like oh good you got my text. He was like you texted me? I'm not sure if he did see her text or not. But it made me feel a bit weird. I mean he mentioned he wanted to go there because he wanted something which he's been talking about forever so it's not like we weren't going to go there for nothing either. She would tell my husband that she would rather be at work than be at home with her fiance complaining about pain or whatever they were arguing about. One time she said to my husband that she had a feeling like she was being watched and feel uncomfortable so she was going to call but didn't. And my husband told her if she did he would of come to make sure shes was safe. I thought to myself why would she call on him first? She has other guy friends, her dad, her family. Why my husband first? Its not like she was driving the company car.. So should I be worried or it's just a friend thing and I'm being silly about everything? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long entry.

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