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How To Stop Complaining In A Relationship (11 Surefire Ways)

If you want to know how to stop complaining in a relationship, you should start listening to this article because we are going to go over this subject in detail! If your marriage is struggling because you complain about your family all the time, you might have an issue with your family, enjoy gossiping, or just appreciate a complaint or two to the right person. 

However, your marriage may be better off with you not complaining about your family or any complaint you may have. This is not to say that you should not be honest; always be honest in marriage. Let your partner know you are there for him or her; just make sure you are calm when you respond to your husband rather than arguing like a married person. 

Hearing a constant complaint or non-constructive argument in your communication can cause stress and make it difficult to carry on a conversation with the one you love. Create a more peaceful environment for your relationship instead. Make communication easy in your home. Your partner will thank you for that. 

How To Stop Complaining In A Relationship (11 Real Ways)

1. Listen to your partner’s needs

If you aren’t great at listening, now is the time to start. You may wish to read a few articles on the subject so that you can understand the importance of listening. It’s a crucial element of a healthy relationship, so make sure you know how to do it right. You should do more than just “hear” what your partner is speaking about. 

Active listening involves feedback and productive conversation between two people, not arguing. Instead, you join in on what you hear from your partner. If you truly care about what is being said in your relationships, you will learn to enjoy the time you spend talking to one another. You’ll love just being able to talk about what happened in your day.

2. Count your blessings

Be grateful for the things you have in this life. You can purchase a gratitude journal or just use a notebook and pen to write down your blessings. You should think about what positive blessings you have in your life and the relationships you have been blessed with. There are surely plenty of them to be happy about.

3. Practice “stop thinking” exercises

A stop thinking exercise is when you catch yourself doing an action, like complaining, and you stop that behavior. You might just recognize your problem with complaining and then tell yourself to say something positive instead of complaining as usual.

4. Look at the big picture

In the big scheme of things, does your complaint truly matter? Assume it does not because, more often than not, it does not matter. It’s better to think about the positive parts of your relationship. Don’t say, “You stink! Go take a shower!” Say, “If you go take a shower, maybe we can cuddle up afterward and watch a movie!”

5. Remind yourself

remind yourself

Some people who face conflict with certain issues, like a problem with complaining, wear a rubber band around their wrist to remind them of their problem. This way, they can slap it when they catch themselves doing it, and they’ll stop this behavior quickly lest they get slapped with a rubber band.

6. Decide what you can and cannot change

Often, if you look at things like the Serenity Prayer, you will realize that we can only affect the things we can control, not what is out of our control. We should only focus on the things we have some control over and not complain in our relationship about things that we cannot control because it is pointless and not worth the effort.

7. Look at the other point of view

You should think about the point of view of your partner. Can you see the world through their eyes? What do you think they are thinking about this problem? Do they see things your way? Can you see their side of things? If you can’t be empathetic, you might want to talk to them about what you feel and think about.

8. Discuss your concerns

Discuss the things you worry over with your partner. There’s no reason to keep these things bottled up inside of you because your attitude and tone will reflect how you feel. This means that your partner will know something is up any way you try to spin things. 

Think about the positive side of things, too. You might be upset because your spouse burned dinner when you told him to check on it several times. You may not feel like he listened to you as he should have, which makes you angry. Instead of dropping the subject, you continue to complain about the ruined dinner for weeks to come. 

This isn’t very helpful for your relationship. Instead, what if you just let your partner know that in the future, you want them to listen to you when you suggest that they check on dinner before it is ruined for the evening. Then, drop it! Focus on fixing the problem rather than rehashing it over and over again. That is not useful or productive!

9. Journal

There are many kinds of free journals you can find online and print out. Alternatively, you can just use a notebook and pen to write out your thoughts on paper. The important thing is to get it out on paper and to get it out of your mind. This way, you won’t complain so much, because you will have gotten all your worries out on paper. 

If something is still bothering you and you need to talk to your partner about it, you should discuss it with them in a positive light. You might even use your journal to write down your thoughts on the subject. You might list the reasons that this is important to you and why you are bringing the issue up to your partner on this day. 

Then, you might also use your journal to name all the solutions you have for the issue. If you come at the problem from a solution point of view, you are much more likely to have a positive outcome than if you are to just gripe about the problem over and over again with no solution in sight.

10. Practice mindfulness

practice mindfulness

Mindfulness means that you think about the present, not the past or the future. This could mean that you just focus on your partner, what he or she is thinking, and how he or she is feeling. This shows that you care and are full-bent on making him or her happy and nothing else. You aren’t overly concerned about the past or future.

11. Seek therapy for relationship problems

Many counselors are trained to help with issues like this. They can give you exercises and tools for this very problem. You might find it very helpful to see a therapist for this problem. They can help you determine why you are complaining all of the time with your partner. Hopefully, they’ll be able to help you turn things around quickly, too!


Is complaining healthy in a relationship?

It depends on what you are talking about. In a healthy relationship, you don’t want to be constantly complaining. Instead, accept responsibility for the problems in your marriage or other romantic relationships. Determine what is wrong with your relationship together to see if you should be upset about something!

How do I stop complaining all the time?

Often, when we are frustrated with other parts of our lives, we lash out at our closest relationship instead of seeking conflict resolution. If you are upset or frustrated about something in your life, focus on how to fix that issue instead of lashing out in your relationship.

Why do I complain so much?

Gossip and negativity are often more fun than just accepting everything as it is. It’s easier to complain and be negative than to look at the bright side of every situation. Try to find solutions, and how you can fix problems rather than complaining all the time.

Why do I always moan at my boyfriend?

If you yell at your boyfriend a lot, you might have complaints that are not being listened to. It might help to see a trained therapist who will listen to both sides of the story. This could be better than complaining non-stop to your boyfriend about the things he does or does not do.

Is it bad to complain about your boyfriend?

If you complain a lot about your boyfriend, you might have a problem in your relationship that needs to be sorted out. If you speak to other people about your man, you might enjoy gossip. Remember that your family could get the wrong idea about who you are dating, though!

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What are your thoughts on the subject? We’d love to hear all about it! How do you solve this problem when it comes up in your relationship? Does your partner complain all of the time, or do you have a problem with this? Please tell us all about it in the comments section!

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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