How to forgive a cheating husband is an incredibly difficult thing to learn how to do. Additionally how to get over cheating is incredibly hard too. If you have sadly been the victim of a cheating partner, then you may be at a loss of what to do or where to turn. Life as you know it, especially if you have children, can be fraught with emotion down to the betrayal of the man you thought could never hurt you.
In this article, we look at how to forgive a husband for cheating as well as how to fix a relationship after an infidelity or an affair has taken place. We also discuss whether it is possible to truly forgive someone for cheating, and if so, how long it can take to forgive a cheating partner.
- 1 How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating?
- 2 How Do You Fix A Relationship After Cheating?
- 3 Can You Truly Forgive Someone For Cheating?
- 4 How Long Does It Take To Forgive A Cheating Spouse?
- 5 How To Forgive A Cheating Husband – The Bottom Line
How Do I Forgive My Husband For Cheating?
If you have already discovered your husband is cheating – either because he admitted it to you and has asked for forgiveness, or because you found out through other means, you may be wondering if you can ever move on or even forgive him of all the things he has done to you. If you love him however, you may want to stay together or get back together and back to a relationship based on trust. Here we look at three ways to ensure that he stays part of your life.
Go To A Therapist
If you want to forgive your husband for cheating, one of the best things you can do to get over his mistakes is to seek the help of a therapist. They will be able to give you advice and information that will give you the right tools to work through your anger and other emotions so that you work towards getting the answers you need for forgiveness.
Importantly, a therapist really facilitates communication between couples where there were issues even before the husband slept with someone else.
Talk It Through – At Length
If your husband has had an affair and you are wondering how to get over someone cheating on you, then one of the best ways to ensure you are capable of forgiveness is to talk through what happened at length. Without doing so, you will not be able to air your anger and distrust of him, which can then grow into huge resentment on your part. Resentment is also an incredibly unhelpful issue to have within a marriage, in addition to infidelity.
For you to be able to trust your husband again, you need to know exactly what happened between him and the other person he slept with. That way, you will be given the opportunity to ask all your questions to get the answers you need to find a way forward. It may make for a very difficult and ugly conversation, but it will have to part of the process for getting over the mistake your husband has made.
See How You Can Help Improve The Situation
Sometimes, through work with a counsellor or just by talking through something like an infidelity on your own, you may see that you inadvertently share a little of the responsibility for what happened. While this is a very hard pill to take, sometimes it can happen that a husband's feelings have been hurt somehow through your actions that were one of the reasons that he cheated.
While you should never take sole responsibility for it, what you do need to do is address how your behaviour in future can change so that your relationship in the whole improves so much that affairs are the thing of the past. By admitting your flaws while working through issues so you can forgive your husband, you will be working towards a healthier partnership on the whole.
How Do You Fix A Relationship After Cheating?
Fixing a relationship after cheating may seem like a massive uphill struggle. But it is possible if you keep your mind open and work through problems as calmly as your emotions allow. You need to remember that how you feel after an infidelity takes place is totally valid and that your feelings are justified. However, no one will be able to be happy in the relationship again unless you address those feelings as proactively as possible.
Here are three ways that can help repair trust in a relationship after an infidelity and what to do when your husband cheats and lies.
Forgive And Forget
It is so easy to say, yet so difficult to do. But none the less forgiving and forgetting is an absolute necessity if you want to repair your marriage after an affair. You need to find steps to forgive your husband if he is truly sorry so that you learn to trust him and love him again.
However, for your relationship to truly move on, after you have found forgiveness, you do also need to forget the affair as best you can. If you don't, it will breed resentment towards your husband which is a very unhealthy emotion to have directed towards him. It can turn into anger and it can rear its ugly head at any time making problems that you have even worse.
Air Problems Immediately
Bearing that in mind, be prepared that some issues that you encounter shortly after the affair can be even more difficult than usual due to the anger and lack of trust that may still be between you both. To minimise the effect of this, it is important to air problems immediately and work through them as constructively as possible.
If you don't, the person you love may be subjected to a larger amount of anger in the future which can damage a relationship even further. Try to keep problems small by saying how you are feeling with honesty and diplomacy.
Make An Effort
When it is your husband that has had the affair, it can be very easy to stop making an effort in the relationship. Especially if he is the one that is asking for forgiveness from you. Instead, it can be tempting to play the hurt and spurned wife for as long as possible.
While it is quite within your rights to behave like this, and if it is truly how you are feeling then it is ok to do so, remember that you may make yourself feel better if you give your relationship a little more attention than you did prior to the infidelity. Making your husband happy again will make you feel happy again, which is a very healthy cycle to get into between the two of you.
Can You Truly Forgive Someone For Cheating?
There is no hard and fast answer to can you truly forgive someone for cheating as it always depends on the individuals involved and how they react. Every person and relationship is different so it is only for the couple to decide whether they can work through their problems so that they trust each other again.
Sometimes it can be that a wife can offer forgiveness to her husband after an infidelity. However, it will never be immediate, and both parties need to be aware of this. If they love each other deeply, it can make things easier to improve, but it still won't be given that that forgiveness will take place.
For one thing, when a husband cheats on his wife, it can change everything that the wife has ever known. Something will have irrevocably shifted between the two of them and the wife may wonder if she can ever trust what her husband says ever again. By using some of our tips above, a wife will hopefully be able to find the strength and courage to forgive her husband and have a healthy approach to giving that forgiveness.
For some women, that shift will have been too great and they well never be able to trust their partner again after he has been exposed as a cheating husband. Even if they do want to get back together, sometimes a person's anger can simply be too great to mean that forgiveness is possible. Of course, it may also be that a husband has cheated in such a way, or is guilty of being within the repeat offenders tribe, that forgiveness was never going to happen in the first place.
What's important either way is for a woman to know that however she feels is justified, but she needs to manage those feelings so that she can move forward – with or without her husband.
How Long Does It Take To Forgive A Cheating Spouse?
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After you have been hurt by a husband's infidelity, and you have decided to stay together, you will not be alone in wondering how long it will take to get back to feeling like the same old you and that you have forgiven him. Here we look at three things to consider while trying to forgive your husband.
Healing Can Take A Long Time
One thing to bear in mind when your relationship has been rocked by something as earth shaking as an infidelity is that healing and the healing process can take an incredibly long time. And it needs to as well – if you rush it, you may find that you have not given yourself enough time to properly deal with the emotions you are feeling as a result.
This can have a detrimental effect on the health and happiness of you both in future. It is therefore important to ensure that you forgive your husband but with the recognition that the love and trust you both enjoyed beforehand may be a little way off for a while.
Work Through Insecurities
Relationships that have suffered from affairs and infidelities will often find that insecurities plague the marriage for a long time afterwards. This is perfectly natural but the effect of them can be diminished if you both address them as healthily and constructively as you can. Be open and honest about how you are feeling and where your insecurities can stem from. Because of this, the past infidelity won't have any bearing on the problems you are facing in the present, nor will they cause any more infidelities in the future either.
Marriage Is For Life
People need to be realistic about marriage. Two people growing old together is a wonderfully romantic notion, but we all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes will hurt our partners more than we ever thought we were capable. Remember therefore in the wake of an infidelity that marriage is meant to be forever and that they take a lot of work and dedication to stay happy. Own up to this fact and take responsibility for ensuring that both you and your husband support each other through this very difficult time.
How To Forgive A Cheating Husband – The Bottom Line
Forgiving a cheating husband takes commitment and a lot of hard work. If you have a family, you will have the added pressure that you don't want to break your family up, but sometimes forgiveness is not always possible – however much you may want to.
Being open and honest with one another is one of the best ways that you can work towards patching up the damage in your relationship, but it does not always mean that forgiveness will automatically occur. Be patient with one another and support each other’s feelings as best you can. In doing so, you will at least have armed yourself with the best tools possible to forgive your husband.
Have you questioned ‘is my husband having an affair' or found out recently that your husband has been unfaithful to you? Are you finding it difficult to forgive your husband after you have found out that he has been cheating on you? Leave your thoughts in the comments below as our readers will find it helpful to learn from how you have dealt with similar situations to them in the past.
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