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Dating A Younger Man (23 Important Things To Know)

by Sonya Schwartz

Historically speaking, it has been far more common to see a couple made up of a man who is older than the woman. However, as times progress, not only have the genders of a couple of dynamics become less set in stone, so have the ages. It is not rare to see a younger man dating an older woman anymore

Here, we look to address that dynamic. We look at what you need to know if you are dating a younger man or even thinking about seeing a younger guy. There are a few common issues that you may want to think about first before embarking on a relationship as an older woman. 

What You Need To Know When Dating A Younger Man

Not all of these issues will be present in a relationship where an older woman is dating a younger man, however, one or two could well be. Try to keep an awareness of them and whether they are pertinent to your relationship. 

This can materially prevent undue hurt in the future and make you feel like you are more in control of your relationships than you have been before. Dating someone will always leave you open to getting hurt, so it can be a good idea to be aware of what foibles of a relationship could be to help limit the amount of hurt you feel in the future.

1. You Will Get Judged

There is no denying that, while younger men dating older women is far more common these days, that you will get judged as a couple by others in a way that older men dating a woman years younger than them will not. 

While this may not be fair, you need to be sure that you can cope with that outside judgment as a way of knowing whether you have what it takes for the long term future of this partnership. 

2. He May Have Less Relationship Experience

It won’t be the case with every older woman and younger man partnership, but the likelihood is that the younger man will have had less relationship experience than the older woman. For some, this can be difficult as it means that arguments and issues that may not have been problems with a person with more experience are still ever-present in this dynamic. 

3. You May Suffer From Confidence Issues

you may suffer from confidence issues

It can be very tempting when you are dating someone who is younger than you to have a crisis of confidence. So often older women believe that they are less attractive than their younger counterparts and therefore they believe that they will not be worthy of dating younger men as a consequence. 

Remember that just because a woman is younger than you, doesn’t necessarily make them better or more attractive than you. 

4. You Will Have Different Life Experiences

Given that older women will have lived longer and through different time periods, it is necessary to remember when dating a younger man that you will have had different life experiences from him. 

This can sometimes be something to enjoy and value. At other times it can cause difficulties between two people. However, try to learn from each other’s different life experiences - you will strengthen your bond that much more as a consequence. 

5. He May Have An Insatiable Sex Drive

Younger men tend to have a higher sex drive than older women. If you are dating a younger man, you will therefore need to be prepared that he will want sex a lot more than what you may have been previously used to if you had been in a long term relationship with an older man before. 

Try to enjoy this higher libido, however. It is innocently meant and will go to improve your confidence about how much your younger man is into you. 

6. He May Have A Small Apartment

One of the things that dating a younger man can mean is getting used to the practical side of the dynamic. Given his age, he is likely to have a smaller apartment than you and may well be less settled. This is very much a materialistic issue that may arise from a relationship with a younger guy so if you simply try to accept it as early on as possible, it should never be an issue. 

7. It May Be A Fling

One point that an older woman may need to come to terms with is the likelihood that the younger man she is dating is only into the relationship for a fling. While some women may be okay with this, others will naturally want a more serious partnership. Make sure you know where you stand with one another before someone gets hurt. 

8. He May Not Have A Lot Of Money

So often, the younger you are, the less money you earn. If you are in a relationship with a younger man, you need to be totally at ease that you may well have a better salary than him. 

This can take a lot of confidence from both the younger man and you. Society often expects men to earn more than a woman, which can sometimes make things awkward between two people where that isn’t the case. 

9. You May Feel Like The Responsible One

you may feel like the responsible one

Often, as people age, they start to become more responsible. The result of this in a relationship where you are dating a younger man is the fact that you may feel responsible for either him or all the decisions you make. This can be tiring and frustrating, so if you worry this may be the case for your relationship, talk about it. 

10. He May Want To See His Friends A Lot

Younger men, in a mass generalization, tend to be more sociable than an older man. If you are dating a younger man, you need to be okay with the fact that he will need to go out and see his mates for a guys’ night more than you may have been previously used to. 

11. You May Have Different Wants

Guys nights out are just one of the many different wants that can transpire from an age difference. A younger man will simply want to do and try different things than you may as the older woman. This is down to the amount of experience you have had in the past as well as different perspectives that come from differing ages. 

12. He May Be Immature

It perhaps goes without saying that younger men are likely to be more immature than the older women they are dating. If you are interested in dating a younger guy, you need to be prepared for this immaturity. In fact, you may well need to see it as a huge positive between the two of you. 

13. Your Interests Can Be Different

Thanks to having different experiences in your life, you may well find that your consequent interests are also different. This can be something to be celebrated in some relationships, but some may struggle with the lack of common ground. If this is the case with you, make sure you talk to each other about your interests to at least include one another. 

14. He May Be Self-Interested

Immaturity often comes with another price. Immature people, not just younger men, will often be self-interested as well. If you are a woman who needs a guy to be attentive to her needs and sensitive to your wants, you may struggle with the common self-involved streak that can be seen in young men. 

15. You May Have To Change

If you really want your partnership with a younger guy to work, you may have to make peace with the fact that you may have to change to make it last. This is down to the different situations that you are both in and what could be different wants and needs. 

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16. Age May Not Affect Your Connection

Of course, an age gap dynamic is not always about overcoming difficulties to make it work. In fact, some age-gap relationships work better than others as they can be entirely down to the individuals involved and their personalities. You may find that the difference in age between you and your partner does not affect your connection at all. Indeed, it may help make it stronger. 

17. You Need To Respect Each Other

you need to respect each other

For a partnership to work, you need to have mutual respect for one another. This is imperative for a relationship where the woman is older than the man. 

This is because it can be easy for you both to have such different points of view that come from having very different upbringings and experiences. Good communication is amongst the best ways you can ensure your respect for each other is constantly maintained. 

18. He May Help Your Self-Esteem

Another of the benefits of seeing a younger man is the fact that you may find that your self-esteem goes up. While it is common for a woman to have a crisis of confidence when seeing a younger guy, the confidence that you may gain from being attractive to a person younger than you can also soar. 

19. His Wants For The Future May Be Different

Perhaps the biggest difficulties, which two people in a relationship where the ages are different have, is the fact that they may want very different things for the future. The woman may well have had a marriage and a family already, and doesn’t want to go down that path again. 

The younger man may well want that for his future. Or, vice versa. Be sure to be open and honest with each other about what you both want. 

20. He May Have Different Expectations

Coming from different stages in your life can mean that you both have different expectations of each other. This does not necessarily mean what you both want in terms of exclusivity of the relationship - simply more how you behave with each other and what you can rely on each other for.

21. It May Be A Lot Of Fun

Dating a person who is much younger than you can be a lot of fun. Remember to indulge the whimsical and the frivolous at times that can come from being with a person who is younger, with more energy and less care in the world. 

22. He May Be Insecure

Younger men can actually suffer from a much more insecure nature than much of society gives them credit for. Be sure to be sensitive to his needs therefore if you feel that your younger guy may be insecure. He too may worry about why you are with him when he actually really likes you and wants the relationship to last. 

23. His Friends May Disapprove

As well as wider society, you may have to be prepared for the fact that his friends don’t approve of your relationship either. They may not think it suitable for their friend to be in a partnership with a woman who is older than him. Be aware therefore that they may make their opinions heard which you may struggle to deal with when confronted. 

FAQs

What is an acceptable age gap?

There is no set acceptable age gap between two people in a relationship. As long as both individuals are two consenting adults, the dynamic can have any age gap that means that both people are happy. For some this will mean dating someone much younger, to others, it will be dating someone older. 

Is it weird for a girl to date a younger guy?

It is not weird for a girl to date a younger guy. While it has been rarer in the past, seeing relationships between younger men and older women is becoming increasingly more common as wider society gets more used to seeing such couples. 

What's the best age difference between husband and wife?

There is no age difference that will work better than others between a husband and wife. In some relationships, it can be beneficial to have many years between them. In others, just a few months is what is ideal. It is all down to the characters involved. 

Do age gap relationships last?

Age gap relationships can definitely last. The key behind a happy relationship where one person is much younger than the other is to talk through any issues. While some problems may arise from the different experiences each individual will have had, talking about them will diffuse the situation. 

How long do people date before getting married?

There is no set time people date before getting married. One relationship may last years before someone pops the question, while another relationship may simply need a few weeks before two people fall in love and want to tie the knot. 

Dating A Younger Man - Key Takeaways

It is important to remember that dating a man younger than you has both its positives as well as its drawbacks. Bearing this in mind, like with all other relationships, it is a good idea to focus on the advantages and celebrate them. 

With respect to the disadvantages, it can be beneficial to tackle them head-on and communicate with your partner to ensure that they do not become bigger problems than needs be. Above all, the respect between you needs to be high and an appreciation of your partner’s point of view always needs to be achieved. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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