Do you think that your partner is cheating on you? Perhaps they are acting differently, wearing better clothes than ever before or spending a lot of late nights at the office? You can feel it in your gut that he is cheating on you. But maybe you don’t have the evidence to prove it?
Even if you are one hundred percent sure that your partner is cheating on you, it’s always a bad idea to accuse them without any hard evidence. If you do, then it will most likely end up that they will deny they have ever done anything wrong, and you will stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t ever going to own up to their actions. Also, if you accuse them with no proof, they might carry on the affair but do it in an even sneakier way, leading to you never catching them. So, you need to catch them by surprise. You need to gather some cold, hard evidence that they are being unfaithful to you, so they can’t deny it any longer.
You’re in the right place. In this article I am going to show you ten innovative ways to catch a cheater in the act, so you can get your proof and confront him.
However, first thing’s first, you need to make sure that you are certain your husband is cheating on you. We are going to go briefly over some of the ways you will be able to tell if your husband is cheating on you. To look at a more in-depth article on this, feel free to go and check out, “10 Signs A Man Slept With Another Woman” or “10 Cell Phone Signs Of A Cheating Husband”.
- 1 Are you sure that your husband is cheating on you?
- 2 What do you think?
- 3 Ten Innovative Ways to
Catch a Cheater
- 3.1 1. Follow him.
- 3.2 2. Follow him, with technology.
- 3.3 3. Drop-in on them, without telling them.
- 3.4 4. Take a look at The Cloud.
- 3.5 5. Take a look at his phone.
- 3.6 6. Check his credit card bills.
- 3.7 7. Use hidden cameras or voice recorders.
- 3.8 8. Check the trash.
- 3.9 9. Hire a detective.
- 3.10 10. Download spying software.
- 4 What are you going to do when you have found the proof?
- 5 Conclusion
Are you sure that your husband is cheating on you?
Before you go ahead and read the ways to catch a cheater, you need to be sure that that is what you are dealing with. So, if you are not sure, take a look at some of these brief signs that your man might show if he is cheating on you.
1. He is spending less time with you, and less time at home.
One of the biggest signs, if someone is cheating, is the fact that they will be spending less time at home without a valid reason to. One of the biggest cover-ups for infidelity is work, so perhaps you have been picking up on the fact that your partner has been working a lot later than usual, or more business weekend away trips are happening. It might possibly be a busy time with work, but it’s probably not the case.
2. He is constantly on his phone and is very protective of it.
You might feel like your man is constantly on his phone, taking calls or texting someone else. If he is, it could be because he is speaking to his other woman. A big clue that this is true would be if he is acting particularly protective over his phone, or he hides to text and take phone calls.
3. He’s putting a lot more effort into his appearance.
If you start to notice that for no reason your man is making a lot more effort with the way he looks, he could be doing it for someone else. This is a sure sign he is trying to impress someone, and it’s probably not you if he hasn’t made this kind of effort with his appearance before.
4. He has less interest in having sex with you.
If your man’s sex drive has suddenly hit rock bottom, it could be because he is getting it on with someone other than you. He probably won’t have the stamina to have sex with both of you, so he will opt for the other woman and pass off any remarks you make to get him into bed.
5. Sex is different from him.
If you are still having regular sex with him, it might be concerning if he has some new moves to show you in the bedroom. You might start to question why he is all of a sudden trying to impress you and try new things? This will be especially true if previously your sex was rather monotonous. The answer to your question could be because he is trying new things with someone else and wants to give you a go too. Also, he might be trying to impress you and keep you off his unfaithful scent.
What do you think?
After having a read through these five signs that your man is cheating on you, have you come to a more definite conclusion? Of course, there are many other behavioral and physical signs that your man might be cheating on you, but these are probably the top five most noticeable ones. If you do believe he is cheating on you, then let’s jump straight in and look at some of the ways that you can catch him.
Ten Innovative Ways to Catch a Cheater
It’s important to say that before you accuse the cheater, you need proof. So, you are going to need to put on a brave face and act like nothing's wrong and you don’t suspect them. If they catch on that you suspect them of cheating on you, they will try to cover their tracks.
You also need to be certain that they are cheating on you, because these ways are risky, and you could get caught doing them. If they are not cheating on you, this could lead to them feeling accused and breaking up with you because, well, you acted a little bit crazy.
1. Follow him.
This seems really obvious, but not many people actually tend to do this. Instead, they will wait at home and try to smell a woman’s scent on their man’s clothes, or they will expect to wander into their bedroom and see their man and another woman having sex. This is probably not going to happen. You need to be a little bit more of a spy than that.
I’m not saying you need to cut out holes in a newspaper to look through or put on a wig and sunglasses to disguise yourself, but there is no harm in getting into the car and following wherever your partner is going. Of course, you don’t want to get caught by them, so you are going to have to master a little bit of stealth. You can follow them whilst being a few cars back, then if you realize they said they were going to their friends but you notice they are on the wrong side of town at a house you’ve never seen before, it is probably because they are going to see their other woman. Why else would they lie to you?
If you are going to use this method to catch a cheater, it might be best to not get out of the car and accuse them then or there. However, wait in the car, see if a woman comes to the door and if so, get out your phone and snap a photo. Return home and wait for your man. When he comes home, tell him you need to speak about something. Once you’ve both sat down, you can simply ask him, “where did you go tonight?”. It is most likely that he will lie to your face, but will begin to seem flustered because he knows you have caught him out.
After he has lied, just tell him that you know what he is doing. If he is even half of a man, right then and there he should own up to you. If he flat out denies it and won’t cave into the truth, you then have the photo that you can show him. He won’t be able to deny it anymore, and you have successfully caught him.
2. Follow him, with technology.
In this wonderful technological day and age, you don’t even have to leave the house to follow your man. Various apps track people, and normally it is for family members to keep track of each other for safety reasons or groups of friends use them if they are going out for drinks together. Obviously, all of these cases rely on the person being tracked to download the app and willingly be tracked by their friends or family.
However, for this, you are obviously not going to ask if your man is willingly going to allow you to track him. You will also need to have access to his phone when he isn’t around and download an app. Some phones have the friend finder app already downloaded, such as Find Friends on iPhones, so this takes away the troubles of you downloading a new app without his App Store passwords. All you need to do is log in to his phone, go on to the app and add yourself as one of the contacts he will allow himself to be followed by. Check that it works on your phone and simply close the app. Swipe up to make sure all the tabs are closed, and he won’t be able to notice that you have been on his phone.
Then, simply put his phone back to wherever it was before and carry on as normal. If one night your partner says that he is going out or has to take a mysterious last-minute weekend away for work, you can go onto the app and track him from your phone. You can follow exactly where he is going, and it won’t give him any notifications.
After you have found out that he isn’t where he said he was going, you can search it on Maps. See where it is, how far away it is from you and even who lives there if you can get access to records online. Then, you can take a trip there yourself. This is the perfect time for you to catch your man in the act of cheating on you. You can go to the hotel, house or restaurant, and see him. You will probably find that he is with another woman, not at the important business meeting he told you about.
3. Drop-in on them, without telling them.
This is a really simple and easy way to catch a cheater in the act. It requires little to no preparation, you simply just have to turn up and see them in places they didn’t think you’d see them or places you never go to. There are two ways you can do this.
For example, if you think your man is having an affair at work, you can drop into work and say hello to him. Take coffee with you, so you have an excuse to go in there. While you are there you might realize, he seems rather tense, or you might even see a pretty woman standing over his desk when you walk in. You might be able to catch them doing something together, or it might help you to piece together more information and his unfaithfulness.
The other way you can do this is if he texts you saying that he is working late or he is round at his friend’s house, you can go. If you get to wherever he says he is and he’s not there, you pretty much have your answer that he is cheating on you. However, don’t react too fast and accuse him. Instead, while you are still there, give him a call. Don’t mention that you are where he says he is, just simply ask, “So, what are you up to now, still at work?”. If he answers saying he is still there, you know that he is lying to you, because you are there.
Then, you could do one of two things, while you are still on the phone you could tell him that you are there. He will probably freak out and start mumbling about lots of things. But, you have caught him, and he knows it.
Secondly, you could return home and wait. When he comes home, you could ask how his time was working late. When he replies, you could say something along the lines of, “oh that’s funny because when I called you, I was standing at your offices, I had come to bring you dinner but there was no sign of you.” If he is a decent man, he won’t lie to you anymore and will confess. However, he might keep denying it. However, whatever his response is, you have caught him out.
4. Take a look at The Cloud.
So here I am not talking about looking up to the clouds in the sky and hoping they will give you an answer. I am talking at the technological cloud. Normally, we all have some kind of backup on our phones, and all of the information normally goes on to the Cloud. It is a storage space, and it stores pretty much everything that you have on your phone.
If you know your husband’s login details, you can take a look at the Cloud. It might be even easier if you have a family sharing Cloud account setup because then you don’t even need his password. When you have gained access to the Cloud you will be able to take a look at all of the photos he has on his phone, including some of his messages and emails. All you need to do now is have a good search. If your partner is cheating on you, he will most likely have a photo of his other woman, of them together or of a place that they visited together. Once you find one, you have all the proof that you need.
You don’t even need to tell him that you were snooping around on the Cloud to find it you could just simply say that you had to look on your Cloud and you saw it come up. That way, you look innocent (even though you are and he’s the one in the wrong) and he will have nowhere to hide. Once again, you will have caught him cheating and he won’t be able to deny it.
5. Take a look at his phone.
This might be a difficult one to pull off, especially if he is overprotective of his phone or he has changed the login password so that you don’t know it now. However, if you can access your partner’s phone, you can log in and take a look. You need to be careful that you don’t get caught snooping around on their phone, so it is probably best to do this when they are preoccupied with something else, like getting a shower or mowing the lawn.
Once you are on their phone, there are several things you can check to find your proof. First and most obviously, check their text messages. Remember that when people have affairs, they tend to save their mistress' number under a different name, just in case a scenario like this ever happened to them. However, now you know that nothing is stopping you. Take a look at all of his messages and see if you notice anything strange or sexual about them. It’s not just text messages that you need to be checking. Have a look at all of their inboxes on their media apps. Then, you can even check their emails. The evidence could be hiding anywhere.
Check their call log to see if they have been consciously making calls to any particular number and check their photos to see if they have any photographic evidence of them cheating. As well as this, you can look at their app store to see what apps they have recently downloaded because they could have recently had a dating app, but deleted it in case you saw it. You can even take a look at their google maps. If they are seeing someone else, they might have constantly typed in directions to their house, or a hotel that they meet up at.
Once you have your evidence from their phone, you can confront them. Although you invaded their privacy and they might take you up on that, you can just say that it is nothing in comparison to what they have done to you. They can’t get out of what they have done by making you look or feel bad.
If you can’t access his phone but you do have access to his phone bills, you might be able to notice that he calls a certain number very frequently. Obviously check it is not a number you know, and then search for it on the internet. If you are brave enough, you could always call it. However, you are best to call it off an untraceable phone, so if you can call off a payphone then that is a good idea.
6. Check his credit card bills.
If you have access to his credit card bills, they can be really useful tools to help you catch your man cheating, as strange as it may sound. You can get the bills out and start to go through them. Take a look at what he has been spending his money on, and if you notice that there a few transactions you don’t remember him making, you could highlight them. It might also help you to highlight things like fancy restaurants where he is spending a lot of money, or lingerie shops. If you notice that you haven’t been to these restaurants with him, and you definitely haven’t received any nice lingerie then it is definitely a sign that your man is cheating on you.
Although cheaters are generally quite careful with their unfaithfulness, he would never expect you to take a look at his credit card bills, so he won’t be worrying about what he is spending his money on. It can be a really good way to catch him in the act, but you will need to work your way around it a little more than you would with any of the other points.
For example, if you noticed that on his bill he spent a lot of money at a nice restaurant on the other side of town last Friday night, but he told you that he was at his friends house that night, you could simply drop into conversation, “Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you, how was your boys night last Friday?”. If he seems flustered and alarmed by the question, it is probably because he was out with another woman for dinner. If you are one hundred percent that he is cheating on you and you are sick of playing games with him, you could even just tell him outright that you know he has been spending money on someone other than you. He will know he’s been caught, and when he denies it you can always grab the credit card statements to back up your accusation.
This is a complete invasion of privacy, but if you are desperate to find some kind of proof that your man is cheating on you. I know you will use any means to get it.
You can simply install cameras in your house, this will not only show you if he invites another woman around, but it will also pick up on any secret phone calls he is having, which is still proof in itself. If you think that he might be more discrete, you could put a camera or recording device in his car which will record him speaking on the phone with her, her being with him in the car and also if they choose to have sex in there.
If you have access to his phone, you could also download an app on there which will record everything, that way wherever he goes you will have him recorded. You do need to be careful when downloading apps on to your partner’s phone because they might notice. Try to put it discreetly somewhere on there phone screen, hidden amongst other apps. If you are going to do this on his phone though, you need to make sure that you are going to have access to it again to view and send the footage to yourself. This method is a lot riskier, even if it could provide better results.
If you are too nervous to plant hidden cameras or hack into your man’s phone, you could always leave your phone around the house with its voice recorder on. Your man is not very likely to notice it, and it could pick up some useful information.
8. Check the trash.
This point is going to mention two kinds of trash – the actual trash at home, and the recycling bin on his computer. Let’s start with the real-life trash can. This might sound like a really disgusting thing to do, and it is, but it could provide you with some proof that your man is cheating. He will never suspect that you will check the trash, so it’s kind of one of the best places to look. He will use it do also discard things that will make him affiliated to his other woman.
So, get on your rubber gloves and take a look at the bins. He will most likely not put things that would make him associated with her in the bins in the house, but he will opt to put that stuff straight into the outside bin. You can look for anything. There might be dinner receipts, love notes, even used condoms. Anything that might associate him with another woman is hard evidence that he is cheating on you.
Now, let’s talk about the recycling bin on his computer. If he has been sent photos of his other women, or emails, he might delete the evidence and move it to his ‘deleted’ folder or the recycling bin. If you do have access to his laptop or even his deleted photo files on his phone, take a look. If there is something in there, it’s there because he wants to get rid of the evidence.
9. Hire a detective.
If you are sick of trying to find proof that your man is cheating on you, it could be because your spying skills are not quite good enough. Therefore, why don’t you hire a private detective? I know this might sound like it’s straight out of a film, but private detectors are very real and they can find out a lot. So, if you exhausted all your other options, or you simply live a very busy life, then hiring a detective might not be the worst idea. They will probably be able to find out when and who your partner is cheating on you with, very quickly.
However, it’s important to say that private detectives are very expensive. So, if you don’t have the money to splash out, you should try all of the other ways first. It can also be very satisfying to know that you have single-handedly caught your cheating partner.
10. Download spying software.
I would recommend this only as your last and desperate resort, hence the reason I have put this point in last. In the technologically advanced world we live in, you can actually buy and download software that allows you to spy on other people’s devices to see what they are accessing and what they have saved on their devices. This way, you can spy on your man without even having to do any leg work.
There are also apps out there that let you see, in real-time, the calls and texts coming in and out of your partner's phone, all you have to do is enter their number and you will be able to see all of their call correspondence before they can.
Obviously, this a huge violation of personal privacy and so you need to be really careful with it. Also, because there are so many different types of software out there that claim to do the same thing, you don’t really know which one to trust and which one is even going to work. This software is also not cheap, so if you’d rather do no work but you have money, I’d hire a detective, not use the software.
What are you going to do when you have found the proof?
Now that hopefully one of the innovative ways that I have mentioned has worked, you will have your proof that your man has cheated on you. Now, it’s time to decide what you are going to do with the evidence.
1. Don’t do anything before you have really thought about it.
When you have evidence that your man has cheated on you, you might feel compelled to go and confront him straight away. This isn’t the best idea. You need to compose yourself and think about what you are going to say and what you want to do with your relationship moving forward.
It is completely up to you how you want to move forward, but I would recommend remembering how much of an amazing person you are, how much this cheater hurt you and how much you deserve. You will find someone that would never dream of cheating on you, so don’t waste your time on this one.
2. Confront the cheater.
After you have thought about what you are going to say, it is time to go and confront the cheater. This can be really difficult because they have probably broken your heart and your trust. You need to keep calm and hold composure. You are a bigger and better person than them, and they don’t deserve your tears.
You can then show them the evidence that you have on them and tell them that it is over (or not, it’s up to you). They might respond with denial, but you need to tell them that you don’t want to hear it. You caught them in the act of betraying you, and there is nothing they can do about that.
3. Lean on the people around you that love you.
As I am always saying, it is so important to have a strong and supportive network around you. I’m sure some of the people in this network will already know what you have been going through, but now it is time for you to lean on them. Of course, you are independent and can deal with this all by yourself. But, one of the reasons we have friends and family is so they can be a shoulder to cry on in our hard times. You can lean on them, never feel alone.
4. Allow yourself time to be upset.
Your man broke your heart because he broke your trust. Whether you choose to work on the relationship or leave him, you need to allow yourself some time to feel the pain that you are going through. You need to accept the pain you are feeling, but you also need to know that you had nothing to do with the breakdown of this relationship.
Do not blame yourself for anything. You are completely guilt-free. Don’t wallow in your pain for too long, because this could slowly turn into a depressive episode. Make sure you or someone close to you keep checking in on your emotions.
5. Start to love yourself more.
When someone has hurt you and caused you so much pain, you need to start focusing on you. You are the most important person at this moment. I would recommend cutting all communication with the cheater, so you don’t have to keep declining their constant calls. Block them off social media too, you don’t want to see their face when you’re flicking through your feed. Now that you have gotten rid of them, you are able to fully focus on yourself.
Start to love yourself. You can show yourself love in whatever way you feel is best. For example, you can do face masks, enjoy some long bubble baths, get your nails done or to the spa for a weekend. The important thing is you need to pamper and treat yourself, you deserve it after all you have been through.
However, loving yourself is not only about pampering yourself. You can also start to think about yourself and only yourself. Do what you want, do what makes you feel good and start being selfish. You could start to practice self-love affirmations, take part in something you have always wanted to and start to think about what YOU want.
6. Accept what happened and move on with a clear head.
Being cheated on is a horrible feeling, but the biggest problem is that if you don’t deal with it properly, it can affect you and your future relationships. In future relationships, it could lead to you being incredibly insecure. You might become controlling or possessive to others because you are afraid that they will cheat on you. This isn’t fair on future lovers, and you will be holding yourself back from being loved to your full potential.
So, you need to accept that what happened in this relationship was horrible, but you need to leave it behind. Then, you can have the joy of moving forward with a clear mind ready to enter back into the world of love. You deserve to be in a faithful and fulfilling relationship, and you will be.
I really hope that this article will have helped if you are trying to catch a cheater. Hopefully, you will be able to gather your proof, confront them and move on.
Did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.