Do you constantly worry that your partner will cheat on you, even if the relationship is going well?
Do you wonder whether it’s inevitable that even happy couples will end up cheating?
Does everyone cheat in the end?
If these are the sort of questions you ask yourself, I need you to read this article carefully.
It explains the reasons why people cheat and the archetype of lovers most likely to be unfaithful to their partner.
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Either way, make sure you scroll down to learn more about what type of person is most likely to cheat on their romantic partner.
Do the sexes agree on how to define cheating? Does age matter when it comes to describing a cheating act? Can we all agree on what is not classed as cheating?
In general, the majority of us agree that liking someone’s picture on social media, watching porn, or having lunch with a co-worker is not cheating.
However, most of us think that sending flirty texts or having sexual feelings is probably cheating. Obviously, passionate kissing and sexual intercourse are two activities the majority of us can agree are cheating.
Now we know what constitutes cheating, why do people do it? According to researchers, there is no one main reason why. Instead, there can be many.
Let’s examine these 12 reasons in more detail:
Some people who committed infidelity cited a lack of commitment to them as the main reason for infidelity. They felt that because they were not in a stable relationship, it didn’t matter if they slept with other people.
Cheating happens when couples fall out of love. They crave the excitement they felt with their first partner with someone new. The honeymoon period is over and they want the passion they were used to with someone else.
A lot of women would say that they committed adultery because they felt their partners had neglected them. They looked outside their relationship for the validation they had used to get. This isn’t necessarily sexual neglect, but emotional. In this context, the infidelity provides the love and affection missing from the relationship.
Revenge on a partner who has already committed infidelity is a big motivation for some people. Finding out that the love of your life is sleeping with someone else is devastating. Getting even redresses the balance. However, you can also get revenge on a partner who is not around much or after a row.
Some people link their popularity to their sexual appeal. Having multiple partners reinforces their notion that they are desirable and wanted. It’s not enough for them to have the love and dedication of a loved one. They need it from many.
Other people are not satisfied with having just one sexual partner; they want a variety of many different ones. These types tend to be easily bored and can be impulsive.
It’s quite common for two people to have very different sexual needs. One may think that sex once a week is perfectly normal and another wants it every day. This can cause friction between couples.
Why do people have affairs? A lot of the time sex is offered on a plate and it just cannot be resisted. Perhaps the person was drunk and regrets it the next day, or the thrill and excitement was just too much to pass up.
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When we can’t have something we want it even more. And having a secret can be delicious and exhilarating when our partners don’t know. An affair adds spice to our otherwise boring lives.
A flirtatious personality isn’t necessarily more likely to commit adultery, however, they do put themselves in situations where the flirting can go further than innocent banter.
A flirt gets his or her validation from the attention of others. Of course, some people flirt quite innocently and not intend it to progress to action. On the other hand, for others it is exciting. It makes them more desirable and wanted. They may get addicted to this feeling.
Some people in relationships are so insecure about themselves they cheat before their partner does. Having sex with someone increases our happy hormones and makes us feel better about ourselves.
It’s a confidence boost that perhaps we feel is lacking from our relationship. Paradoxically, it’s the desire to be loved that causes some people to be promiscuous.
We learn behavior by watching our parents. So if a parent committed adultery we might believe this is normal. Childhood sexual trauma can also be a trigger for infidelity in a marriage. We can also link emotional neglect or abuse to cheaters.
We can never be 100% sure that our partners will remain faithful to us. Just as we can’t predict
who will cheat on us. But there are predictors to watch out for.
You cannot have an affair without being a good liar. And not just a good one, but one that has conviction in what they are saying. You have to deliver your excuses for being late with the utmost confidence. Even going so far as to blame your partner if they start to doubt you.
Narcissists think the world revolves around them. They think that the normal rules of etiquette in society don’t apply to them. After all, their happiness matters above everything else in life.
So it’s not surprising that self-absorbed people are more likely to commit infidelity. And the problem is that they’ll use gaslighting techniques to confuse and baffle their loved ones. They certainly won’t be able to empathize with the hurt they’re causing.
Does your partner always blame something or someone else when things go wrong? There’s a psychological term ‘locus of control’ that dictates this very phenomenon.
The locus of control describes how those people that take responsibility for the good and bad experiences are happier than those that blame others. It’s because if we feel that we control what happens to us then we can change or better things. If others are in control then what’s the point of trying?
It is certainly not common. However, there are certain personality traits that predispose a person to commit adultery. For instance, if they’ve cheated before, or if they are narcissistic, or if they are impulsive or commitment-phobic.
You have to examine the definition of cheating in this context. For some, it means a sexual act with another person, for others it can be something like sexting or a kiss. This doesn’t mean that anyone of us will commit any of these actions during a relationship.
It’s not the norm by any means. In fact, statistics suggest that around 25% of men and 14% of women have had affairs outside their marriage. However, these numbers rely on anecdotal evidence and do not include same-sex partners.
There are lots of reasons why some of us feel like having sex outside a relationship; for many, it is a case of opportunity and circumstance. For others, it can be a self-esteem issue as it boosts their confidence. Some studies even point to a person’s wealth as a factor as affluent men have affairs more than poor women.
It happens within both sexes. Historically, studies have shown that more men cheat than women, but recently this gap is narrowing. Researchers also found that men cheat for sexual reasons and women for emotional ones. Men are also less likely to view flirting as cheating whereas women do.
Of course, cheating can be absolutely devastating. However, it is important to remember that it is certainly not common in a relationship. Don’t forget that the majority of us do not consider infidelity, even though life with a loved one may be hard at times.
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