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Does Everyone Cheat? (12 Reasons And 3 Traits Of Cheaters)

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you worry that your partner will cheat? Is it inevitable that even happy couples will end up cheating? And what constitutes cheating anyway? In the end, does everyone cheat? 

Before I try and answer the question of ‘does everyone cheat’ let’s examine what is classified as cheating. 

What Is Classified As Cheating?

Do the sexes agree on how to define cheating? Does age matter when it comes to describing a cheating act? Can we all agree on what is not classed as cheating? 

In general, the majority of us agree that liking someone’s picture on social media, watching porn, or having lunch with a co-worker is not cheating. 

However, most of us think that sending flirty texts or having sexual feelings is probably cheating. Obviously, passionate kissing and sexual intercourse are two activities the majority of us can agree are cheating.  

Now we know what constitutes cheating, why do people do it? According to researchers, there is no one main reason why. Instead, there can be many. 

12 Reasons Why People Cheat

  1. Not committed 
  2. Fell out of love 
  3. Felt neglected 
  4. Wanted to take revenge
  5. Wanted to boost one’s self-esteem
  6. Wanted more sexual variety 
  7. Sexual needs were not being met 
  8. The opportunity was there
  9. It was exciting and forbidden
  10. Flirtatious personality
  11. Insecure person
  12. Childhood issues

Let’s examine these 12  reasons in more detail: 

1. Not Committed

Some people who committed infidelity cited a lack of commitment to them as the main reason for infidelity. They felt that because they were not in a stable relationship, it didn’t matter if they slept with other people.

2. Falling Out Of Love

Cheating happens when couples fall out of love. They crave the excitement they felt with their first partner with someone new. The honeymoon period is over and they want the passion they were used to with someone else.

3. Felt Neglected 

Felt Neglected

A lot of women would say that they committed adultery because they felt their partners had neglected them. They looked outside their relationship for the validation they had used to get. This isn’t necessarily sexual neglect, but emotional. In this context, the infidelity provides the love and affection missing from the relationship. 

4. Wanted Revenge

Revenge on a partner who has already committed infidelity is a big motivation for some people. Finding out that the love of your life is sleeping with someone else is devastating. Getting even redresses the balance. However, you can also get revenge on a partner who is not around much or after a row. 

5. Wanted To Boost Self-esteem

Some people link their popularity to their sexual appeal. Having multiple partners reinforces their notion that they are desirable and wanted. It’s not enough for them to have the love and dedication of a loved one. They need it from many. 

6. Want More Sexual Partners

Other people are not satisfied with having just one sexual partner; they want a variety of many different ones. These types tend to be easily bored and can be impulsive.

7. Sexual Needs Not Met

It’s quite common for two people to have very different sexual needs. One may think that sex once a week is perfectly normal and another wants it every day. This can cause friction between couples. 

8. The Opportunity Was There

Why do people have affairs? A lot of the time sex is offered on a plate and it just cannot be resisted. Perhaps the person was drunk and regrets it the next day, or the thrill and excitement was just too much to pass up

9. It Was Exciting And Forbidden

When we can’t have something we want it even more. And having a secret can be delicious and exhilarating when our partners don’t know. An affair adds spice to our otherwise boring lives. 

10. Flirtatious Personality

Flirtatious Personality

A flirtatious personality isn’t necessarily more likely to commit adultery, however, they do put themselves in situations where the flirting can go further than innocent banter. 

A flirt gets his or her validation from the attention of others. Of course, some people flirt quite innocently and not intend it to progress to action. On the other hand, for others it is exciting. It makes them more desirable and wanted. They may get addicted to this feeling.  

11. Insecurity

Some people in relationships are so insecure about themselves they cheat before their partner does. Having sex with someone increases our happy hormones and makes us feel better about ourselves. 

It’s a confidence boost that perhaps we feel is lacking from our relationship. Paradoxically, it’s the desire to be loved that causes some people to be promiscuous. 

12. Childhood Issues

We learn behavior by watching our parents. So if a parent committed adultery we might believe this is normal. Childhood sexual trauma can also be a trigger for infidelity in a marriage. We can also link emotional neglect or abuse to cheaters. 

Who Is Likely To Cheat? (3 Character Traits)

We can never be 100% sure that our partners will remain faithful to us. Just as we can’t predict 

who will cheat on us. But there are predictors to watch out for.  

1. Good Liar

You cannot have an affair without being a good liar. And not just a good one, but one that has conviction in what they are saying. You have to deliver your excuses for being late with the utmost confidence. Even going so far as to blame your partner if they start to doubt you. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

2. Narcissistic 

Narcissistic

Narcissists think the world revolves around them. They think that the normal rules of etiquette in society don’t apply to them. After all, their happiness matters above everything else in life. 

So it’s not surprising that self-absorbed people are more likely to commit infidelity. And the problem is that they’ll use gaslighting techniques to confuse and baffle their loved ones. They certainly won’t be able to empathize with the hurt they’re causing. 

3. Doesn’t Take Responsibility 

Does your partner always blame something or someone else when things go wrong? There’s a psychological term ‘locus of control’ that dictates this very phenomenon. 

The locus of control describes how those people that take responsibility for the good and bad experiences are happier than those that blame others. It’s because if we feel that we control what happens to us then we can change or better things. If others are in control then what’s the point of trying

FAQs

Does Everybody Cheat In A Relationship?

It is certainly not common. However, there are certain personality traits that predispose a person to commit adultery. For instance, if they’ve cheated before, or if they are narcissistic, or if they are impulsive or commitment-phobic. 

Does Everyone Cheat At Some Point?

You have to examine the definition of cheating in this context. For some, it means a sexual act with another person, for others it can be something like sexting or a kiss. This doesn’t mean that anyone of us will commit any of these actions during a relationship. 

How Common Is Cheating In Marriage?

It’s not the norm by any means. In fact, statistics suggest that around 25% of men and 14% of women have had affairs outside their marriage. However, these numbers rely on anecdotal evidence and do not include same-sex partners. 

Why Do People Cheat In A Relationship?

There are lots of reasons why some of us feel like having sex outside a relationship; for many, it is a case of opportunity and circumstance. For others, it can be a self-esteem issue as it boosts their confidence. Some studies even point to a person’s wealth as a factor as affluent men have affairs more than poor women. 

Who Is More Loyal Male Or Female?

It happens within both sexes. Historically, studies have shown that more men cheat than women, but recently this gap is narrowing. Researchers also found that men cheat for sexual reasons and women for emotional ones. Men are also less likely to view flirting as cheating whereas women do. 

In Conclusion...

Of course, cheating can be absolutely devastating. However, it is important to remember that it is certainly not common in a relationship. Don’t forget that the majority of us do not consider infidelity, even though life with a loved one may be hard at times. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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