HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more.

How To Tell Someone Their Husband Is Cheating Anonymously

Last updated on August 31, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Do you suspect that the husband of your friends may be cheating?

Do you wonder whether you should tell them anonymously?

I understand completely, and it's an extremely difficult situation to be in.

Before you do anything, however, it's crucial that you are 100% sure that he has been cheating.

If not, you could end up damaging someone's relationship for no reason at all.

To confirm that, I recommend running the husband's name through a quick background checker like this.

This will give you a report of where he's been, who he's been hanging out with, whether he has been active on dating sites online.

It will give you the evidence that you need to make sure that he's been cheating.

The reason that this is so important is that it will also make it much more effective when anonymously communicating to the wife that the husband has been cheating.

Without any hard evidence, the wife is unlikely to believe a tip coming from a random stranger.

That's why I recommend using this tool once again, just to make sure that you have the evidence to support it.

Now let's go onto whether it's right or wrong to report a cheating husband.

Should You Anonymously Tell Them?

No sane human should ever feel the act of reporting someone else’s husband for cheating is wrong, except and of course the culprit and those holding a similar belief as him. Some people might argue that it is none of anyone’s business to interfere in issues like this one. However, people in this category aren’t going to know any better until when cheating of this nature affects them directly.

​As good as the act of exposing a cheating husband to his wife, it comes with some dangers; dangers that could be as grave as having to involve murdering, maiming, assaulting, blackmailing etc. of the reporter.

In the opinion of Taylor Durden, the following are the reasons you have to tell someone their husband is cheating anonymously.

  • ​That the wife might not believe you and probably will support the cheating husband instead.
  • ​In special cases where the cheater is your close ally, you may start holding the feeling that the cheater may tag you as a betrayal.
  • ​That you may be hunted by the cheater after the whole mess has died down.

​There are several other reasons telling someone their husband is cheating anonymously could place you in the danger zone; however, this article will offer you unprecedented, but safe ways you can get to tell someone their husband is cheating anonymously.

Via email: Telling someone their husband is cheating anonymously cannot get any better than doing it through email. There are tens of thousands of companies that provide email services such as Gmail, Yahoo, Mail, and other several temporary or disposable email services. You wouldn’t want to register the email you intend using to carry out the reporting with your real details. If you are finding it difficult to get names and addresses that looks real enough, you can head on to this site http://www.fakenamegenerator.com you will get to fetch names that look real that you can then use for the opening of the email. While writing about the cheater in your email, ensure your writing style and anything that may likely sell your real identity. Be precise with details and attach relevant media files to back up your reports.

Via telephone call: You can get to tell someone their husband is cheating anonymously via telephone call, using burner services. This service can give you an entirely new identity with which you can call the wife of the cheater without having to reserve any feeling of fear of being hunted by the culprit afterward. This burner services can even do more. You can get to change your voice to any type of voice you like. And this is one of the features I will strongly advise you select when you want to make the call. While speaking with the wife of the cheater, ensure you are polite and friendly. Go straight to the point and be clear with your explanation as possible as you can.

Social Media: There are a handful of social media platforms and there is hardly anyone who has got no account, most especially, with the major ones such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. You can set up a dummy account on any of this platform. Ensure the account looks as real as possible so the wife of the cheater won’t threat your messages as a spam. Send them a request or follow them, depending on the modus operandi of the platform you have chosen. Write a detail report about what you saw and attach relevant media files. Be precise and avoid exaggeration.

Employ the Old trick: The old trick is to write a letter and mail it to the wife of the cheater. You will want to print the letter so as to prevent against the culprit or the victim using your handwriting as a means of tracing you. In the opinion of a Quora user – Kathie, on this topic:

“Whatever you do or say, be sensitive to the fact it will deeply affect and hurt her. People who are cheated on generally end up wanting to know about it, many even wishing they knew sooner, but they don't necessarily want to know all the details, just the facts.”

She further offers a sample of a letter you can write to the wife of the cheater. Find the copy of the sample below:

​"I am so sorry to have to write to you about this, but I have information pertaining to your husband I believe you have the right to know. I have inserted the information in the enclosed envelope, and leave it to you to decide whether you wish to read or toss it away. Please know that there is no malicious intent behind this act, only that I believe you have the right to this information."

She further suggests that you should

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

​“write a second note to put into it saying something to the effect of "Your husband (insert his name) has been romantically involved with (insert her name). They have been involved in this relationship since (insert timeframe), but I only recently became aware that he was married. Again, I am so sorry if this information causes you any upset, but hope it perhaps answers some questions you may have been asking yourself or instances you may have been wondering about."

​What You Need To Know Before Telling Someone Their Husband Is Cheating.


In the opinion of Scott Haltzman, you may not be aware of who the individuals involved are, how much danger you can be subjecting you and the victim (the wife), and the full story behind the case. To Scott, in the light of this, even though it could be tempting to report the cheater, you should give it a second thought.

In the opinion of Meyer supporting Scott, he said, “There’s a lot of presumption and assumption going on. What business is it of yours? I’d say 'no' unless you have proof-positive and even then, why would you want to get involved? It’s none of your business."

And how about exposing the cheating husband to an acquaintance?

​Meyer is of the view that, “If you're not close enough to hold their hand and support them through the process of confrontation, grieving and adjusting to the news, you are probably not the one to be sharing the news."

Why according to Scott, exposing such sensitive information to an acquittance could sever the relationship.

​In his statement, he said, “The onus of proof will probably lie on you," he said. "Because an individual who is engaged in infidelity will often deny it at first, it becomes your acquaintance and the spouse versus you. You’re not going to win that one."

How about a friend?

is this something advisable? The fact that the victim is your friend is sufficient. Part of your obligations, although informal, to your friend is to protect their interest whenever you can. It’s what rule of law of morality suggests. In the opinion of Scott, he agrees with this fact as well. The only additional point he added is that you need to come off as a concern when reporting the cheating husband to your friend. The reporting shouldn’t be presented in the form of accusation.

To Meyer, not telling your friend about the cheating acts of her husband might end up making your friend to brand you as ‘covert accomplice’

How about a family member?

​You can tell a family member you are close with. However, you will be out of line if you tried telling a family member you have no close bond with.

​How about telling a co-worker?

​To be on a safe side, the best is to steer clear of telling a co-worker, as this screams of this are “none- of your business” from all angles. Besides, chances are that you are harmed with little or no information to be in the good position of doing this.

The exception is where such a co-worker is a close family member says, Brittany Wong.


​The fact that you are a privilege to have access to sensitive information about a cheating husband doesn’t automatically put you in the position to tell every victim their husband is cheating. You will need to check each case critically using the above-listed points to ascertain whether it worth the risk or not.

If you love this article, don’t hesitate to share with your friends and family, drop your comments, and smash the like button.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

15 comments on “How To Tell Someone Their Husband Is Cheating Anonymously”

    1. Tell, Tell , Tell Yes by all means, because if he is cheating with that woman there could be other women as well. You are protecting your friend, because he could bring home an STD.

    1. By all means YES!!!! The cheaters possibly are putting everyone at work in an uncomfortable position. Try and put yourself in the spouses place. they have a right to know!

  1. My husband is having an affair with a woman who is also married and I want to tell HER husband. They are both strangers to me. My husband is doing this openly as part of some mid-life-crisis "find myself" thing and says that he loves me and wants to be together with me (which we are) but also "has" to pursue this woman because it's something he "needs" to do. She is sneaking around behind her husbands back and I want to tell her husband so she has to face reality too. I have his work email and that's it.

    1. I can relate to your post and my prayers are with you because it's so gut-wrenching.
      I've learned my husband of 23 years is a narcissist and due to this dynamic, he seeks out his supply of admiration from all kinds of people. He doesn't like to conform to norms that would make him a responsible and loving husband so he's done his own thing during our whole existence. I look back and it's like being married while he's single.
      Anyways, needless to say our marriage has been tumultuous and all I ever wanted was his loving and caring side to last, which it hasn't. It's pushed me to resent him in so many ways because he's been abusive on many levels but the worst part is his controlling of our home. You see, he doesn't really work a whole lot because he doesn't have a mortgage. However, our home is basically a shell and isn't finished and I've had to raise my kids in this. He uses this unfinished home as a weapon and refuses to do anything to it, with no regard for his kids. And this isn't a new home!
      I feel correct that most women wouldn't tolerate his ideology of marriage or that of provider. Enough back ground and let me get to how I relate to you. This past Christmas we fought and I had no idea that a former girlfriend from high school and college came to his mind where he actively sought her out. Apparently, she got back with him after New Years (a day after our anniversary) and they've been in contact ever since. I learned he did this because he felt remorse over how he treated her back in the days of them being together and she had a double mastectomy a few years ago. Her last dying wish was to talk to him and so now that she has the cancer again, he's randomly gotten on a plane yesterday to go see her unbeknown to me. Apparently, they are together for a couple of days and he said he needed closure. Well, the last month he's been dieting and working out. Sunday I came home from church and he was ticked we walked in on him shaving most all of his body hair and shaved his face (I've picked up after all these years he only cleans up when he's trying to make an impression). He kept denying what and why he's been doing. Yesterday morning before he left, I found out my son took him to get a stylish new haircut, some new shoes, then took him to the airport. Hours later my husband called to tell me he took a plane to another state and that is where he was.
      If he's not wanting anything but closure, then why is he trying to be eye candy?
      I've prayed and asked close friends from church for prayers as well. But I too, am torn on whether or not I should contact this woman's husband who she just asked a divorce from 18 days ago. I know she did that because she thought they'd be together. My husband and her shared intimate marriage details, things in common, etc. He told me he loves her and me. He never had a sexual relationship with her but I feel like he could now. He's refused to be intimate with me since this all happened. He was under the assumption we were over and now he's in this debacle. I could possibly find out her husband's info but not sure for what purpose if they are starting to divorce. He may not quite care and what outcome would I expect? What would I even say? And does alerting the husband reflect poorly on me where I look crazy and scorned? I don't know much other than what my spouse ended up confessing to. He keeps his phone and ipad password locked and he communicates with her behind my back.
      It's a hard call to make because you want to honor yourself, nor not have regrets. I feel for you.

    2. Hello Teresa,
      I am so sorry to hear that , I say you tell him that is your husband I wouldn't want no strange women sleeping with my man to me that is betrayal regardless about what he says to you that poor wifes husband is problably hurting and wondering if his wife is cheating on him I say don't hold back if this is bothering you Say something don't hold back tell him politely how you feel and I will assure you that he will stop his cheating wife from seeing your man

    3. I would email him and let the poor man know. He has a right to know. Not only that if your husband is cheating with her , he could have other woman as well and bring home STD. Seriously, it happened to me and I had to have three very very painful surgeries because of it.

    4. Why would you want to continue to live with a man that is cheating? Get rid of him and move on, because he does not really love you.

  2. My friend is being cheated on but I don’t know how to tell her. She won’t believe me because I only know from word of mouth

  3. I dont have access to her email, phone or anything. I only have her social media. I dont want the backlash in case he gets violent... he is crazy. 🙁 It isn't fair that she doesnt know.
    He told me he was single... I had no idea. Then I realised.. now I want to tell her but scared of the danger. They are both crazy and bipolar

  4. D*** H****** is a sociopath and people are worried about his new girlfriend. She seems very nice....

  5. I heard my friend Michelle’s husband A*** has been having an affair with a coworker. I want to tell her so bad because they have many children but I’m so sorry for her too. I don’t want to hurt her. It’s a horrible place to be in.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Copyright © 2015 - 2022 HerNorm.com