Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. Little girls don’t dream about being single moms when they grow up. It’s true, some might fantasise about their perfect wedding. However, the vast majority will be focused on their studies and career paths.
Yet women do end up raising a child on their own but why shouldn't they date? After all, if the baby daddy is out of the picture that doesn’t mean the end of dating for them.
But there seems to be a stigma attached to single moms that is wholly undeserved. Single moms are some of the hardest-working, most committed and dedicated women you’ll ever meet.
They are the ones that stuck around and took on the responsibility of raising their child. Anyway, enough of the sermon! You get where I’m coming from. So knowing a little about single moms you might wonder ‘why wouldn’t a guy want to date one?’
Well, like all things in life it’s not that simple.
So what do guys think about dating single moms?
Well, it all depends on what kind of man he is. Is he mature himself? How old is he? Is he responsible in other aspects of his life? How does he treat the other women in his life? Does he have a stable job? Is he reliable?
Here’s what you need to know. And I will be brutal ladies.
Considering the fact that the baby daddy isn’t even around to buy diapers and baby formula, your guy’s Spidey senses are going to be instantly tingling. He’s going to assume that as soon as you get into a relationship you will want him to take responsibility for your children.
Put his mind at rest. You are perfectly capable of providing for your own kids. You don’t need a man to pay for the children you gave birth to.
What better way to skip the whole working part of life than to keep popping out those babies! I mean, raising kids is so easy right ladies? Only a guy would assume that having children is an easy option and not actual work.
In fact, a lot of women juggle work and children these days. This is such an outdated view but you’d be surprised at the number of men that believe it is an option for women.
I told you I’d be brutal. Some guys (and women, let’s be honest here) believe that single moms have to be uneducated if they get pregnant and end up on their own. It seems that no one ever looks at the deadbeat guys that abandon a woman with a baby they’ve helped to conceive.
Then another guy comes along who might want to date this single mom and he makes all these assumptions about her. It’s really not fair to look at one gender without considering both parties.
Dating should be fun and casual and in the moment. It should be organic and go wherever it goes. You shouldn’t be concerned about commitment or worrying about the future on the first few dates.
But bring kids into the mix and the whole scenario changes. You’re not ready for the responsibility of fatherhood but she needs someone to take over that role. Or does she? Have you even asked her?
We all expect the people we date to have ex-boyfriends but we don’t expect to have to see them ever. It’s different with single moms. If they are on good terms with the baby daddy then there’s a good chance you’ll bump into him.
What’s even worse is if they are not on good terms and you get drawn into the drama and disagreements. You just want to have fun. You don’t need this.
Time is short for all moms with children so they can’t faff about playing mind games. If they like you then they’ll tell you. If they want to date you they’ll arrange a date with you. And you know what? Men love this kind of straight-talking.
I’ve always said, if you want a man to do something then just tell him to do it. Men are not mind readers. They are not good at playing mind games. They much prefer a woman that says what she wants and is clear about where she wants the relationship to go.
Of course, it’s not all bad, and not all guys have a negative attitude. It all depends on the guy. Moms have to deal with their children 24/7 with little help. This makes them incredibly patient, compassionate and loving people.
If that’s not ideal dating material I don’t know what is.
It’s pretty obvious to any guy with an iota of intelligence that you are used to doing things yourself. You are capable of multitasking, you juggle home life with work and your kids. You might hold down a demanding job, sort out childcare and have time to date on the weekends.
Guys love women that are confident and are leading independent lifestyles. Sure, men want to solve problems and help out and be the hero. But they don’t want to do everything.
Looking after your children, providing for them, getting them into a good nursery or college are all signs that you are a responsible person. You take your responsibilities seriously. These are all signs of a well-balanced human being.
You provide for your kids and you don’t think anyone owes you a cent. It’s down to you and you are happy to do it. That’s refreshing for a guy to see.
It’s not just about you. You’ve got to be very choosy about who you date. Because it’s not just about you anymore. You have your children to think about. So if they pick you then you are very special indeed.
Take it as a huge compliment because they won’t let just any guy into their house and near their precious children. They will have handpicked you. They’ll think that there is something worth pursuing there.
Some guys automatically believe that dating a single mom is the equivalent of a guest appearance on Keeping up with the Kardashians. But what you have to remember is that single moms have already dealt with all the drama. They’ve been through the custody battles. They’ve fought for child support.
They’ve had the rows with the baby daddy’s new girlfriend. Now all they want is peace and quiet and to get on with their life with their children. This is the time for stability and the task of raising their kids to be decent human beings.
A single mother is more upfront about what she wants from a relationship. In fact, many single moms find love on the dating scene because guys love their down-to-earth attitude. A single mom will want a stable man who respects her and isn’t interested in partying every night.
Men do date single mothers despite the negative stereotypes associated with single moms. Many men can see the qualities single mothers have, such as loyalty, responsibility, patience and compassion. This is very attractive for them.
There are negative stereotypes attached to the concept of a single mother. Perhaps a man thinking about whether to date one might feel that he has to take care of her children. Or he may wonder if she wants him to assume a father role in place of another man.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
Typically they are not looking for someone else to take over the role of their baby daddy. A single mother wants to have fun while she is dating like any other woman. She just has to be careful about who she is dating because she has responsibilities.
It depends on the man and the mom I guess. Some men think there is drama associated with dating a single mom but with all things in life, you should approach the situation with an open mind.
Are you a single mother? Are you dating at the moment? What sort of men have you dated? Did you find my article helpful? If you do, please feel free to share it.
Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
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