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How To Play Hard To Get With A Guy (9 Ways To Win Him Over)

by Sonya Schwartz

Playing hard to get with a guy is a sure-fire way to grab his attention, and keep it. Confident men simply don’t fall for women that are desperate and clingy. In addition to that, when you play hard to get with a guy, he is always up for the chase. 

How To Play Hard To Get With A Guy

When you’re playing hard to get with a guy, it’s important that you don’t make the mistake of seeming uninterested. Instead, you want to be interested in him but still occupied doing your own things. You’re not pressed about finding the love of your life. That’s how you find the perfect balance.

1. Enjoy living your life

The easiest way to play hard to get is to actually be hard to get. You don’t want to be the easy girl that has sex with just anyone. Or the one that is desperate for male attention. Not only does that mean that he will think that you’re worth the effort, it means that you won’t have a bad reputation. 

To use this tactic, pick up a hobby or two. Post pictures of you spending time with your friends on social media. Don’t just pretend that your schedule is packed. Instead, you need to actually be super busy. You’re not the girl that is going to sit by her phone waiting on a text back. 

2. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is important to win over any guy. This will instantly catch his attention. Not only will you be more attractive in his eyes, but you’ll also be more attractive to everyone. Update your status when you get your nails done or are having a particularly photogenic day for added effect. 

You’ll notice that taking care of yourself also takes time. This can help you find some things to do during empty slots in your schedule. Pedicures are both time-consuming and relaxing. Face masks are always a great idea. You’ll be playing hard to get while simultaneously loving yourself. 

3. Make him wait

make him wait

There is nothing like waiting on a text back from someone. It makes you want to hear from them more. You look forward to the time that you spend together. 

Men go through the same thing. They are known for putting their phones down when they’re busy, but they do start looking forward to text messages once they start talking to a love interest regularly. 

Instead of texting him back immediately or always answering his phone calls, play hard to get by waiting to text him back. Don’t let him know that you did this intentionally. If you do, he’ll think you’re playing mind games. That will only push him away. Tell him you were in the middle of something and didn’t see the message. 

4. Find the right balance

Playing hard to get is all about being worth pursuing, showing that you like him, and making him chase you at the same time. You want to wait to text him back. If you do that too often it can be a bad thing. Not texting or calling can signal that you are not interested in him. 

To play the game perfectly, sit back and only text him back quickly every other day. On other days, be busy. This works out perfectly if you are actually busy. Loving your single life will instantly give you the upper hand, and it makes you look fun. 

5. Physical intimacy should not come soon

Making your man wait might be a bit hard, especially if you’re really attracted to him, but it’s the perfect way to play hard to get. Most women follow a certain rule. 

For example, the third date rule. This states that you should never have sex with a man before the third date. Hand holding, kisses, and other forms of physical affection are fine. Do not let those lead to sex, though. 

Slowly led the intimacy build up. Hold hands on the first date and hug. Kiss each other on the second date. As the relationship naturally progresses, so does the physical affection. 

6. Let him make the first move

Guys want to go after a girl. Boys don’t want a girl that chases them. If you want to play hard to get, let him have some fun chasing you. Make him put in extra effort to spend time with you. It will only make you more enticing than you already are. 

This can tell you whether he sees your true value as well. Men won’t run after a girl or a relationship if they do not value her. Guys that just want to have sex with you won’t keep texting you or calling you. 

7. Reject him with an excuse

When you tell a guy no, it shows that he has to put forth more effort to see you. You don’t want to tell him a simple no. Instead, let him know that you have something to do. Guys that get told no for no reason might assume that you don’t like them. That’s not what you want. 

8. Dating should be fun

He won’t chase you simply because you’re cute, although that does help. Instead, he has to know that you’re worth the chase. Taking care of yourself can help, but the way that the two of you are dating will play a big role in whether he continues to chase you. 

Make sure that he doesn’t get bored by making dating fun. Mix things up with creative date ideas. Some fun date ideas that are more than simply going out to dinner include: 

  • Going hiking
  • Having a picnic together
  • Wine tasting
  • Enjoying a movie
  • Bowling
  • Trying a new restaurant
  • Playing dating games, like 20 questions
  • Volunteer at an animal shelter

When you take the time to plan dates that both of you like, it guarantees that you’ll have a good time with each other. Bonding and spending time together are important, but this is especially important during the early stages of dating. 

When you’re dating, try to avoid spending hours upon hours on the phone. Don’t text back and forth all the time. This guarantees that the two of you will have plenty to talk about when you do meet up!

9. Show appreciation

show appreciation

You don’t want to kill the moment by being defensive. Women often mistake playing hard to get with playing games or being cold until he is deemed worthy of affection and appreciation. That is a great way to send a guy running in the opposite direction. 

Instead, you want to show him that you enjoy time with him. Smile at him. Flirt back with him. Give him plenty of hugs. When he has a romantic moment, such as buying you flowers, let him know that you adore them. Put them in a vase on your desk where you can see them every day. 

When you want to play hard to get with a guy, it doesn’t mean that you give him the cold shoulder. It means that you slowly, seductively make him wait a little bit for things like attention and intimacy. At the same time, you show him that you know what your worth is, and you’re not going to settle for less than you deserve. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

FAQs

Why does a man play hard to get?

While tradition says men should chase women, some men like to be chased. They do this because they want to feel like they are being won over. It works out well for some women, especially those that enjoy the chase. Men do this for the same reason that women do. 

How do you know if a guy is playing hard to get or not interested?

Men that are playing hard to get will still show that they like you. Expect a text back from them. He might still smile at you or flirt back. Showing interest in other women is also common. Guys that aren’t interested will not flirt, use emojis with heart eyes or bother showing interest at all. 

Will he lose interest if I play hard to get?

Sometimes, but not if you play the game right. Don’t give him the cold shoulder or ignore him. Instead, always text him back. Wait a few hours before doing so, though. Men that do lose interest are not willing to put forth the effort because they aren’t looking for a relationship. Sometimes, these guys just want easy access to your private parts. 

How do you play hard to get with a guy you've already slept with?

Keep things casual. Don’t be too needy or clingy. At the same time, let him know that you’re interested in him. Make plans for future dates. Text him back and flirt with him. Don’t let the main focus of the relationship revolve around sex.

How do you know if a guy is playing you?

A guy that is playing you will send a lot of mixed signals. One minute he’s interested in you, but he doesn’t want to go out with you. He might specifically tell you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Guys that play you won’t let you develop a role in their life. You won’t meet his friends or his family. 

The Bottomline

Playing it hard to get involves maintaining a nice balance between not being too interested yet not seeming disinterested. What dating advice would you give to girls that are trying to play hard to get?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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