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Husband Doesn’t Respect You? (7 Things You Should Do Right Away)

Last updated on June 17, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

​I have multiple girlfriends who are constantly complaining about how their husbands don’t treat them with respect.

He refuses to do anything around the house and expects you to be his personal service maid.

He talks poorly about you when he’s around his guy friends, and lets them say awful things about you.

He over-reacts to anything you say and makes you feel as if you’re the crazy one for bringing up uncomfortable topics of discussion.

Those same girlfriends of mine have spent many nights crying themselves to sleep while wishing that their husbands could change.

They’re not asking for a lot – they just want a man in their lives who loves them for who they are and treats them right.

Sadly, this ugly behaviour is most commonly seen in men who are engaging in suspicious activity.

Cheating on you with another woman, hiding an expensive hobby that will leave him bankrupt, lying about the job he was just fired on…Those are all tragic yet real things that men often engage in.

Either way, it’s unfair for you to be left in the dark.

The first thing I would do is discover the truth about what’s REALLY going on in your husband’s life.

Is something bothering him?

Is he.... dare I say it... seeing someone else?

That's the first thing I would rule out before trying to fix this issue.

I recommend entering his name into this into this tool (click on the link) and it will show you exactly what he has been up to.

It will tell you everything you need to know about who your husband is seeing, where he is going, and who he really is as a man.

If you’ve used that same tool without any success, there may be other hidden reasons why your husband is treating you like dirt.

Read this article to learn more about how you can get out of this situation…

Hopefully in this blog post, I will be able to help you determine which it is and what you should do to turn this around so that you feel respected once more.

Possible Reason Your Husband Doesn't Respect You

1. He Is Selfish​

He Is Selfish​

Being selfish isn’t something that people are born with; it is a trait that is learned. For example, if your husband was brought up with minimal rules such as not having a curfew or not having to do his homework then he will not appreciate or respect many rules. He may feel that he can do whatever he pleases and so when you get upset about something he has done, he will blame you rather than his own behavior. If your husband is selfish then it is rare that he will show respect for anyone.​

2. He Is Manipulative​

He Is Manipulative​

I have a friend who has a highly manipulative husband and when he is in a good mood and happy, he is a really fun person to be around but when he is angry or upset then it is a whole different story. I am used to my friend texting me saying that they have had another fight and that he has kicked her out even though it is her home too. These arguments are very silly with the last one being about my friend asking him not to wind her up in the morning after she comes home from 12 hour night shifts. Somehow a fight broke out, he ended up at her mums house with her all her things dumped in the front yard and him telling her to find a lawyer if she wants to see the dogs. About a week later he called her at 6am after a night out and now they are back together!

3. He Is Reactive​

He Is Reactive​

If your husband tends to overly react to little things then it is more than likely he will become easily disrespectful. He may be used to an easy life where his parents or old partner let him get away with most things which meant he never learnt how to deal with his reactions when he was refused something or done something wrong. Because of this, you may find that when you refuse him something or tell him that something he does upsets you then he may blow up with the worst words coming out of his mouth.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

4. It Could Be You​

It Could Be You​

Now that I have covered some traits that your husband might have that makes him not have respect for you, you also need to consider whether there are some things you are doing that may cause him to disrespect you. You can do something about these things to hopefully get him to start respecting you again and make you stronger as a couple.

7 Things To Do If Your Husband Doesn't Respect You

1. Don’t Think You’re Always Right

Don’t Think You’re Always Right​

If you think that you’re always right and always have your own way then this can takes its toll on your husband and cause him to lose some respect for you. Just because he may want to go about something differently doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way. If you’re like this then you need to learn to let go of the control and share it.

​2. Don’t Put Others Before Him

​Don’t Put Others Before Him

You may not realize it but you are disrespecting your husband if you put others before him which will lead him to lose respect for you. For example, if you planned to go out on Friday with your husband for a nice meal but then you cancel because your friends want to go out… this is putting your friends before your husband. If you regularly put others before your husband then it can lead him to lose respect for you because he feels you don’t respect him.​

3. Don’t Forget That He Is A Man​

Don’t Forget That He Is A Man​

This may sound like a bit of a silly one but if you will be surprised once you realize that you may be doing this. We all need our girly time without girlfriends so if you don’t regularly see your girlfriends or you lost in touch with them a number of years ago then you will undoubtedly turn to your husband. Treating your husband like he is your girlfriend however isn’t going to get his respect.

4. Don’t Dishonor Him​

Don’t Dishonor Him​

If there is one sure way to lose the respect of your husband it is nagging and corrected him in public and in particular, his friends. If you tend to do this regularly then his friends will undoubtedly pick up on this and will tease him about it which will lead him to possibly even resenting you for it.

5. Don’t Think He Is Your Past Cheating Partners​

Don’t Think He Is Your Past Cheating Partners​

You cannot have someone’s respect if you don’t give them the same. I know it can hurt deeply if you have been hurt in the past by a cheating father or cheating boyfriend/husband but you must not put this onto your husband. The only way you can earn his respect is if you give him the same and trust in him. Everyone is different which means you should never assume that he will cheat just because he is a man.

6. Don’t Make Him Become Defensive​

Don’t Make Him Become Defensive​

Sometimes the best thing to do is to keep your lips sealed and not say anything to avoid putting your husband on a defensive. For example, if you’re on a road trip and get lost don’t tell him “you’ve gotten us lost haven’t you” as this does not help the situation and will only cause friction between you both. Before saying anything, ask yourself whether it will help. If it does not, keep your lips sealed.

7. Never User Sex As A Bargaining Tool​

Never User Sex As A Bargaining Tool​

One of the worst things you can do is to use sex as a bargaining tool as not only does this lose all romance but you also disrespect yourself. An example of someone using sex as a bargaining tool would be if they were to say to their husband “if you fix that washing machine for me then you’ll get sex tonight”.​


What Do You Do When Your Husband Doesn't Respect You?

If your husband doesn’t respect you then it is important to be open with him and tell him exactly how you are feeling. If he cannot understand that you need him to respect you then it may be time to consider whether he is the right man for you and whether he is making you happy in your relationship.

How Do You Know Your Husband Doesn't Respect You?

If your husband doesn’t listen to you or he doesn’t respect your opinions then he probably doesn’t respect you. If he is unable to respect you then it may be time to think about whether you are in the right relationship. Respect is a hugely important aspect of any relationship and if it isn’t there then you need to carefully think if he is making you happy. 

What Are Signs Of Disrespect In A Relationship?

If your husband isn’t listening to you when you are talking, he doesn’t answer you when you are talking or he expects you to do everything for you then these are signs that your husband doesn’t respect you. It is important to realise that if your husband cannot respect you then you need to have a serious conversation with him.

What Is Disrespect In A Marriage?

If your husband is always flirting with other women, or he doesn’t pay attention to you when you are talking then your husband may not respect you. If you think that he is not respecting you then talk to him about how you are feeling. If he doesn’t change the way he is treating you then you may need to think about ending things with him.

How Do You Live With A Selfish Husband?

If your husband is selfish and doesn’t care about your feelings or whether you are happy in the relationship then he may not be the right guy for you. You don’t have to live with a selfish husband if he is not making you happy. Have an honest conversation about how you are feeling and if he doesn’t change the way he is acting then you may need to walk away. 

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

16 comments on “Husband Doesn’t Respect You? (7 Things You Should Do Right Away)”

  1. I just wanted to say this is legit the WORST article I’ve ever read. What horrible advice to give to women. Go crawl back into your 1950s hole and die.

    1. I agree it’s all about helping the mans situation what about us women who stand there and put up with there crap if we didn’t get brought up well we still know the right way and don’t let the past affect the future

  2. Everything you said in this article I’m sorry to tell ya. *But he does these things to me.* I worship my husbands feet but I’m the only one who gets kicked in the face. His fat ass isn’t getting anymore of my respect??? He can eat ? and so can you ?‍♀️. Byeeeeeee! ??

    1. Love this and I totally agree my husband treats me like a slave and he’s so rudeand like you I worship my husband and do everything for him and it’s me that gets treated like shit well he can take care of his own duty’s lol

  3. One of the things I have learned in many years of marriage is that, if you give too much to your man he will not do things for you or come to you. He is comfortable knowing that you aren’t going anywhere. That doesn’t mean don’t tend to his needs but back off just a little bit. Doll yourself up and don’t hug or kiss him first. Ask about his day, be respectful and let him take the lead with some things. Don’t give him hours or just one day. When we feel abandoned and rejected from our spouse we want to cling more, so let him feel that way so he can come on to you too.

  4. This is terrible advice. You’re telling disrespected women to reward their husband’s behaviour. This will only encourage further disrespect, while the wife sits there saying “yes dear.”

  5. Well this was literally worthless. What about if the woman has lost her husband's respect through her behavior? Is it always the man's fault? And if she's to blame in any way, what should she do?

  6. Hi
    I am really in a fix. It has been 12 years of my marriage and having two daughters 10 and 8 year old. I sometimes feel as if I am entangled I this relationship. It is all about giving. My husband is not at all expressive in his love but on top of it has a pathetic language that he expresses even with a slightest trigger. It is always about his mother or the maid. He has extra soft corner for each maid that comes and his mother but for me he is highly abusive, passing derogatory remarks and showing disrespect in front of anyone, be it in market or in front of driver or in front of his mother.
    I love him but for me my self respect is equally important which I have been bargaining for the past 12 years and he leaves no point in bringing my past fling before my marriage and insulting me over it in front of maid, his mother even after 12 years of loyalty and all my selfless service in raising our family. Till the time I don’t object to his thing, he is fine but if I say something against his mindset then he will hurl all abusive stones at me. He has a pathetic language. Please guide me.

  7. You are a true pickme! You don't get men to behave by catering to them. If you reward bad behavior, you get even more bad behavior.

  8. Both parties should have respect for one another. It should be mutual and considered. If not, one of them is lacking maturity and social skills . I’m sorry but I’m order to get respect one must give it to receive it. Gratitude and appreciation should also be taught as early as a child can speak. If not these important words like “ Thank you and You are welcome “ will be lost.
    And as parents we must instill good morals , good behaviors and values into our children so they can treat people with respect and show them secure love instead of insecurity. Just saying !

  9. Since my husband retired from his job if 42 years,he is driving me crazy. If I ask him a specific job to be done at home,either it's not done for days,months years or truthfully half ass ,I get very upset, because, it's more work for me . This goes on ,and on. I now just try to do the job my self. He is disrespectful ,and I just get mean, I don't want to be mean, can't help it.

  10. My husband says that I smell bad and do not like me at all after 4 years of marriage and one kid what one can do except to listen his trash and show smiling face to kid..honestly it sucks..I hate myself and him and do not feel like sharing bed with him at all.

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