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Why Men Leave Women They Love (21 Top Reasons)

Last updated on June 6, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

We’re raised in a world of fairy tales where it seems that love conquers everything. Love is all that’s needed to create a marriage full of blissful moments or to have a happy family. It’s all that’s necessary, and then everything else is supposed to fall into place. 

After so many relationships, you come to realize that love is not enough. It’s simply not the one magical ingredient that it’s supposed to be. You also need respect. Healthy communication is another item on the ingredient list for a happy relationship. There are quite a few things you need, and, if they aren’t there, you can see why men leave women they love

21 Reasons Why Men Leave Women They Love

There are actually quite a few reasons that men leave women that they love. The reasons range from realizing that they felt lust instead of love all the way to feeling like they simply didn’t have a choice. These are not all of the reasons men leave women despite being head over heels for them, but they are the most popular ones. 

1. He doesn’t feel like you appreciate him

He doesn’t feel like you appreciate him

Appreciation is really important to men. While you know that you appreciate what he does, he might not think that you do. When men don’t feel appreciated in the relationship, it can affect a lot, from their self-esteem to their communication skills. In the long run, he’ll feel like he’s being taken for granted for all that he does. 

To show your man that you appreciate all his great qualities, and all he does around the house, tell him. Thank him for specific tasks, such as unclogging the sink. Let him know all the qualities that you appreciate, such as how kind he is. Showing him continuous appreciation for things will help keep your relationship strong. 

2. Every day is a new battle

It doesn’t matter how much your husband loves you, if your home has turned into a war zone he will not want to be there. If you find that you’re nagging him constantly and having a new fight every day, don’t expect him to stick around forever, even if he thinks you’re amazing. 

All couples will argue, but it’s important to resolve all of those arguments. If you’re leaving arguments unresolved, it can result in built-up anger that will spill over into other areas of the relationship. This makes things tenser in the relationship. Work on healthy communication and compromise to avoid a divorce later on down the road. 

3. Men leave relationships if they’re bored

This is among the surprisingly common reasons men leave women. Sometimes, the relationship falls into a rut. Then, it seems to park there and stop moving forward. Men get bored with the same thing all the time. Switch positions in the bedroom. 

Try new things together. Do something to spice things up every once in a while to keep your man interested in both you and the relationship. While this isn’t a common reason for a divorce, it is a common reason for men seeking new partners outside of the relationship, which can lead to divorce. 

4. You have different life goals

Maybe he wants to settle down and have a family but you are against having children and want to spend the rest of your life traveling. If neither of you plans on changing your mind, it might be best to part ways. Different life goals are a surprisingly common reason that men leave the women they love. 

Before getting into a serious relationship with someone, and hopefully, before falling in love, partners should have a conversation. Ask him anything you want to know, but some of the things you might want to know include his opinions on love, parenting, and what his goals are. 

5. Lack of respect

Respect is something that every man values. Just like you want to be respected and have your feelings taken into consideration, so does he. If he doesn’t feel respected, he won’t see the relationship lasting long term. 

Lack of respect might not come up in conversation, but you’ll notice that he shuts down more. This is another thing that will make men leave the women they love. 

Make a man feel respected by talking to him in a respectful manner. Don’t call him names or belittle him. Take his opinions into consideration when making decisions, too. For example, you should speak with him before making any major financial decisions that will impact both of you. 

Speaking with him about decisions that you share, such as parenting decisions, is another way that you can show him that you respect him. 

6. He’s tired of trying to fix things

Men leave women they love when the relationship is obviously headed nowhere. He tries to fix the fact that you don’t trust him and then something else happens. Men that are at this for months will eventually get tired of trying to fix things

7. You’re not compatible partners in the bedroom

Even if you love each other, it can be hard to move past sexual differences. Sometimes, it can lead to more pressure. It can turn into a complete lack of intimacy. The truth is, if you’re both not enjoying the sex, you need to have a conversation about your love life. It’s usually not anyone’s fault and can be solved with healthy communication. 

However, if you can’t get the intimacy back, it can lead to a breakup. If you manage to stay together, it can lead to a person looking for what they’re missing outside of the relationship. In the long run, this only causes more issues and leads to divorce. 

8. You have different relationship goals

You have different relationship goals

Men leave their partner when they both have different relationship goals. Perhaps you want something long-term but he’s not ready for that. Maybe you are pressuring him to take steps in life he isn’t ready for, like moving in together.

9. Codependency is a major problem

Another on the list of reasons men leave women is that they are codependent. When one person depends on the other for their happiness, coping, and literally everything, it doesn’t leave any personal time in a relationship. It’s healthy in a relationship for both you and your partner to do your own thing. When 

10. He doesn’t feel good enough

Most men that have healthy self-esteem before entering a relationship know that something is off in their life when they start to feel like they aren’t enough for the woman they love. If a man feels like no matter how hard he tries it’s just not enough, he’ll get tired of trying to be the man you think he needs to be too. 

11. Cheating is one of the main reasons why men leave

Cheating doesn’t just mean that a man had an affair with someone and they fell in love with each other. Today, women are cheating just as much as men, and men seem to have a hard time moving past it. This has made it one of the main reasons why men leave women they love. 

While it’s a common reason for two people to head their separate ways, it is possible to move past infidelity. 

In order to make things work, you both must address what led to the problem in the first place, such as him still having feelings for a former lover, for example. Then, you both have to work through the problems that cheating has caused, such as hurt feelings and lack of trust. 

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

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Some couples find it impossible to work through these. In this situation, seeking professional help is a great idea. A counselor can help both people work through their problems as individuals as well as address the situation as a couple. 

12. They are still in love with their ex

There’s no hard and fast rule that says you can’t love two people at a time, and men that leave women they love for their ex just prove that. If she’s still on his mind, and he can’t get over her, he’ll make the choice to leave his current love interest for her. 

13. There’s no more intimacy

By intimacy, I don’t mean sex. Physical intimacy is important, but intimacy is much more than just the steamy things that you do together in the bedroom. This also includes hugging, kissing, and all of the other affection you share with your partner that can help you feel closer together. 

14. You’re controlling

This can be a hard truth pill to swallow, but it’s one of the reasons why men leave their partners. No one likes to deal with someone trying to control them. For example, a man doesn’t want to feel like he needs to check-in, ask to hang out with his friends, etc. then he’s going to feel like he’s in a controlling relationship, which he is. 

He might let it go or try to work it out for a little bit, but he’ll ultimately leave if he finds you too controlling. 

15. Fear of losing their freedom

Another one of the reasons why men leave is because they are scared that they will lose their freedom. If the partner senses that you might be controlling, they could be ready to head for the hills. Men will get scared if a woman is too controlling or tries to put pressure on them to take big steps in the relationship, like moving in together, that they are not ready for. 

16. Fear of intimacy

Fear of intimacy

Some men have a genuine fear of intimacy. This is very common in a man that was abused or traumatized as a child. They are scared of getting close to people. Men that are scared of being close to women might be known for short relationships or having their walls up to keep you out. 

They are the type that closely guards their heart. If you get too close to it, they might run the other way. 

17. The relationship is stressful

Relationships can be stressful for a few different reasons. This could be because of life circumstances, such as one person losing a job. However, they should not be a constant source of stress in anyone’s life. If a man discovers that the reason behind his unhappiness is his spouse, it means the relationship is headed for divorce. 

Effective communication between both people can help solve this. 

18. You’re more successful than he is

Some men are seriously threatened by a successful spouse. It’s not necessarily because they have a lack of success or even a lack of self-confidence. Although these are reasons this can happen, they aren’t the only ones. 

A man may feel like he is supposed to be the main provider and protector. When their spouse is way more successful, it takes that away from them, leading to them feeling emasculated. 

19. Disagreements in major life decisions

Almost half of all relationships break up within the first year of having a child. This is not because parents are losing sleep. It’s because there are so many arguments regarding decisions that affect each other, and the two people cannot agree. 

When you have different parenting styles, different religions, and neither of you can find common ground regarding financial decisions, it’s a problem. Those large disagreements are one of the reasons men leave women when it’s time to become a family. 

20. He doesn’t live up to your standards

A man is constantly being compared to one stick or another. Often, their partner is the person doing this or contributing to it. If you find yourself telling him about what another man is doing for his girlfriend, such as how your best friend’s man calls her every time he’s on break, that’s the reason. 

Comparing him to a former lover is another surprisingly common problem, and one of the common reasons men leave women. He doesn’t want to hear about anything that your ex did, especially if you’re saying it in a way that insinuates your ex was better at it. 

The only time that you should compare your man to someone else is when he’s going to come out on top in the comparison. A man will leave the woman he loves over this.

21. You two, as a couple, are too competitive

 A little bit of healthy competition between two people during a board game is fine, but some couples take that to extremes. It can quickly turn activities you do with a partner into a battleground. 

When this happens, it causes several problems in the relationship. First, it creates a gap between the two of you due to a lack of support. As a couple, the two of you should encourage each other to accomplish goals, not pray for failure so that you can win. 

Being too competitive can also result in a lack of communication. When a person cannot communicate with their partner, they ultimately wind up not getting their needs met. These could be emotional needs or physical needs. Regardless of which way the pendulum swings, this is one of the reasons men leave relationships. 


Why would a man leave a woman he loves?

A man will leave when he feels like he’s not enough for her. He will leave if he feels like his needs are not being met or the two are not compatible. When a guy is scared or feels like the relationship is not going to work out because two people have different goals and values, he’ll leave. 

Can a man forget the woman he loved?

A man never forgets a woman that he truly loves. He might move on to other women or be in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that he forgets. She’s simply among his memories. A man can lose feelings for a woman he loves, though. 

Why do guys run away when they fall in love?

If he runs away from a woman he loves, he’s scared. He might leave the woman because he doesn’t think he is enough for her, or because of a fear of intimacy. If he was hurt in a previous relationship, he’ll run away because he’s scared of getting hurt. 

What makes a man lose respect for a woman?

A man will lose respect for a woman that is a doormat. He’ll lose respect in a relationship if she constantly does more and more for him no matter how little he does. He won’t respect a person that does not have boundaries and standards. 

How do you test a guy to see if he really loves you?

To test a guy to see if he loves you, watch his actions. He’ll communicate with you, and spend time with you. When he loves you, you’ll be his partner in crime. Not only will he want to be with you, but he’ll also treat you with kindness and respect. 

To Conclude

Men leave women that they love because there is a problem with the relationship that they cannot fix. What are some of the reasons that you would add to the list?

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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