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Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me? Here Are The Answers You’ve Been Looking For

Last updated on June 15, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Are you asking yourself: "Why is my ex ignoring me?"

Do you wonder why, after all you've been through together, he/she can't even give you the respect to say "hi" to you anymore?

Are you sick of the stress and sleepless nights that he/she's putting you through?

If so, keep reading, because I may have a solution for you.

This may sound harsh, but one of the reasons he's ignoring you may be because he's seeing someone else.

You need to rule that out before you go any further.

You can ask around to see if he's dating anyone else at this moment, or you can do some research online yourself.

I recommend using a simple tool like this (click to go there) where you simply enter his name and it pulls up any secret dating profiles he may have, and even who he's been communicating with frequently lately.

This will give you a good idea and allow you to rule out whether he's seeing someone else or not.

Some women actually discovered that their boyfriend was actually already married through this tool!

How crazy is that?!

Of course, we hope that's not the case for you, but it's important to rule out before you go further.

Simply enter his name and other details and the information that comes back may surprise you.

Once you've ruled this out, let's look at some other reasons he may be ignoring you.

Other Reasons Why He May Be Ignoring You

There is nothing worse than being ignored, especially when you have feelings for that someone. There are many reasons why your ex may be ignoring you and you need to consider them all before you get yourself upset or angry.

If you have made the first contact after the break up but he hasn’t responded with even a rejection then it can be highly frustrating. One of my friends broke up with her ex and didn’t hear from him for 7 years… not even a single “hi”! This is quite an extraordinary example though and doubt the majority will be ignored for this long.

Again, there could be many reasons why he is ignoring you so instead of driving yourself mad trying to wonder why, here are a few reasons why:

He Still Has Feelings For You​

He Still Has Feelings For You

Many women automatically believe that an ex ignoring them means it is because of something bad when that isn’t always the case. It may be surprising to you but your ex may be ignoring you because he actually still cares for you and has feelings for you.

Breaking up with someone is a highly emotional roller coaster full of confusing emotions as you know yourself as you’re going through it yourself. Everyone reacts to breakups differently though and him ignoring you may be a way for him to heal from the breakup.​

While you may be ready to start talking again, he might not. He made need more time to get over it and heal before he can be ready to talk. In this instance it is important to not make this about you. It is clear that he still has hurt feelings and ignoring you is a way for him to keep his head clear to be able to think clearly.

The best thing you could possibly do in this instance is absolutely nothing. Don’t attempt to text or call him or even like or comment on any of his social statuses. Give his the space that he needs so he can heal properly. When he is ready to talk, he will let you know by either texting you, calling you or even commenting on your social post.

He Is Playing Games​

He Is Playing Games

I would love to stay on the subject of all things positive however there are a few negative reasons why your ex is ignoring you that you must know about. One of those reasons is that he is playing a games and not a very nice one.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

This is more applicable if your ex has always been a bit of a manipulator and likes to play mind games. If your ex has never really been a manipulator then this reason probably doesn’t apply to you because it is not a trait they would take on out of the blue.

My girlfriend I was telling you about earlier, her man is very much a manipulator and even made her start to dislike a friend she has known almost her whole life because he didn’t like her. This is really upsetting to me as she truly deserves someone that would take care of her and love her wholeheartedly.

For some reason though she loves this guy and who am I to say otherwise or object. When they go through their break ups though, he goes completely silent. He does this because he knows she will text and call him until he answers and then she is the one to apologize first.​

This is until last time they broke up though when I told her that she should ‘give him space’ to calm down. She followed my advice and just like clockwork, he made the first approach after just a few days. As I am writing this now, she has broken up with him again… I told you it is hard to keep up with them.

He Has Moved On​

He Has Moved On​

This is probably the one that you most don’t want to hear. Unfortunately, if your ex is ignoring you then he may have moved on. As much as you might not want to hear it, it is important that you come to terms with it. The sooner you can do this, the sooner you can get yourself motivated to focus on yourself and find a man that is wholeheartedly into you.

You cannot blame him for moving on as we all need to find out one true love and if he feels that it is you then at least he has been honest and not cheated on you. He may very well be ignoring you not out of spite but because he doesn’t want to disrespect his new girlfriend or the woman he is dating.

If your ex has moved then the best thing you can do is to move on too. Treat yourself to a much needed girls night out and go and have fun. You never know, you might your one true love when you’re out.

He Is Punishing You​

He Is Punishing You​

If you break up was on fairly bad terms and you said some harsh words to each other that you might not have necessarily meant then he may very well be ignoring you out of spite to punish you. I’m sure you’ll agree that this is a bit of a childish approach to a break up but a lot of men will actually do this so it is possible that you ex is doing this too.

This is especially applicable to your ex if he tends to always want things his own in the relationship. When you were together and he would give you the silent treatment or would pull a face until he got his own way then this could definitely be something he is doing in the break up.

The best thing you can do at this point is to stop texting him. If you have tried and he is ignoring you then you have tried, what more can you possibly do?​


Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Ignoring Me All A Sudden?

They probably met someone they’re interested in and have chosen to be serious with them. It’s a step moving forward. Not many people would be comfortable in a relationship with someone who still has ties with their ex.

What To Do When An Ex Ignores You?

Your best option is to give them space. Trying too hard to get their attention or bombarding them with messages and calls could make them feel choked.

What Does It Mean If Your Ex Doesn’t Contact You?

It possibly means that they were serious about ending things. It’s a sign that they are on the road to moving forward in their lives, and may not be open to the possibility of making up

Why Do Exes Come Back When You Ignore Them?

I’ve heard a few people say that an ex can sense when you’ve moved on because that’s always when they come back. A more logical explanation would be that when you give a person space, it makes you more attractive to them. Desperation is a bad look on anyone.

Will Ignoring An Ex Bring Them Back?

Human psychology is complex, often very paradoxical. You would think that giving a person more attention would make them more into you, but it's the complete opposite; ignore your ex, and it makes them more interested in you.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

19 comments on “Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me? Here Are The Answers You’ve Been Looking For”

  1. My ex recently still has his phone number on my whatsapp. However it's an old number as he moved back to his country.

    Is someone else using his number. Now, I feel afraid, scared.

    Help me. He blocked me a month ago.

    I don't want to get back to him. I'm trying to delete the phonenumber but won't let me.

    1. don't delete it on WhatsApp as it won't allow you but delete in your phone contact list and he will automatically be deleted on WhatsApp..

  2. My ex and I have broken up dozens of times. We havent met in months, all contact so far has been negative. Im now being ignored/blocked and threatened with a R/O. Not sure if she is hurting since I started this and did the same thing without really meaning it. I regret acting like a child. This is trult the love of my life I gave such a huge piece of my heart and time, only to maybe never see them again. Would not be the first time but definetly one of the longest and seems like it could be the last since she is giving up hope and getting older so how much longer can we keep acting like kids before really settling down. Im an emotional mess and depressed even with her here I know its not good to depend on SO for emotions but I loved the support and being with her was the only thing that made me happy so now I dont have anything left other than my family. I just want to die so that the pain will end. I have tried everything even stuff that worked in the past but she wont even meet me for coffee. It would be nice to get the last of our things or something. Im working on building myself emotionally and getting strong again. In hopes this will re attract her. And If we get back together I dont want to fight ever again. Wish there was a sure-fire secret formula but as mentioned in the article there is so many social and psychological pressures for ignoring when things dont work out.

  3. We broke up I reached out. Then almost a month later: He said he loves me and misses me, and complimented me and gave me 4 options which I wish he didnt give me the one that he knew I would. Try to get back together knowing I would choose that. Then everything fine then bam ignored me. Told me he wasnt seeing anyone and wanted to know the same or if I slept with anybody. He said he hasnt either. So yeah mind games. And wants to know if preggo. Wish I knew so I can tell him yes or no. But with him ignoring me for a whole day I was p-oed and just got rid of my fb messenger. Then I had a dream that he tried messaging me :/ wishful thinking perhaps?? So yeah. If preggo till him this weekend if I ever find out. If not see if I can hold out and message him again the followibg week. Yeah right probably sooner :/ i know. NO self control. and try not to cuss and be peeved and be like wth you said you loved me, miss me and you go and ignore me?? What did I say or do, maybe ask are you mad at me or something. Gave you time to cool off then tell him whether preggo or not and see if he blocked me or see if he does and wait a couple weeks after?? Ugh wish I knew if having his kid and if that will help or not :/ I also so need to move from my current living situation.

  4. Hi. Been separated from my husband for almost two yrs Due too infidelity on his behalf and bring a non marriage child into the picture. He hasn’t been with her for over a year now. We been trying off and on in repairing our marriage but as soon as I think it’s going good he pulls away. He would only call once a week. He would never respond to my text if I text I miss you! But he would once in a while to good morning. He is leading me on with mixed emotions and I don’t understand why. Not to mention I caught a std from him 3 x in 6 months due to him lieing on the fact he got treated. Well this last time which would of been a month ago I called him out on it , never heard from him regarding it at all. He knows he was caught up on his lie. We been together for 22 yrs out of that , 9 yrs is marriage. Please help

    1. LET HIM GOOOOOO!!!! I know its hard, especially because you invested so much of your time into this relationship. But you have to learn to love you first and take care of yourself first. He obviously knows you still love him and it looks like he feels he has you on a string. You have to show him a "new" you, meaning becoming more independent and letting him look for you for a change. We as women tend to put others first, especially our mates, without looking after our own needs. The fact that he has given you a STD 3x in 6 mos says a whole lot about his character and how selfish he truly is. He hasn't responded to you because he knows you are on to him and its game over. Take the time to love yourself and treat yourself well. If you don't, you can't expect him to treat you with respect until you start. Wishing you the best!!

  5. Corinne Kay, I think it's time to move on. Run, don't walk. Try to find some self respect. It's better even to be alone, than to suffer this kind of abuse. I see you and your husband have been "together" a very long time so the codependency is real, but commitment needs to be a two way deal, or it will never work.

  6. You are so right. I’ll be filing the divorce papers soon. It’s time I take back my life and live..! What he has done to me he will do to others unfortunately for those future gals. But I won’t let it be me any longer. It’s hard. But when I think of all the mistrust, betrayal, and his assinite actions. It makes it little easier. I blocked him from my phone and told him to no longer contact me in any shape or form. Thank you

  7. I left my boyfriend of 8 months almost 2 weeks ago. I caught him cheating on me with his best friend's little sister. I soon found out he had lied to me about a lot of things, he became mentally abusive. Calling me stupid and ugly, reminding me that no one could love me better than him. He always admitted to being afraid of me leaving him, I knew he wouldn't ever see me making the big decision. I feel very guilty, I reached out to him a few days ago, telling him I wished him well in life, he responded by letting me know he was confused and devastated. I thought by calling him, we could try talking things out again but he seemed passive and wouldn't answer the call. I see him everyday due to college, he's quiet and keeps his head down. Most the time, he's high and when someone talks to him, he's extremely rude. I found out he's not doing good at his job, he's spreading rumors etc. He's not the person I met, it worries me but I'm starting to let go. I wish he would talk to me, at least tell me something but he continues to be passive and I need advice/help with this. A big part of me wants to work things out with him because I love him, a small part is seeing the controlling person he really is and doesn't have anything to do with him.

  8. My ex broke up with me 11 days ago: We dated for 4.5 months and committed as boyfriend and girlfriend to each other the last month we were together. I thought things were good between us.

    About three weeks ago, we did take a couple day break to allow each of us to think about our relationship since she was having big doubts and was struggling with a lot of personal issues with her daughter. She was having challenges with balancing everything between her daughter, her friends, and me. We thought a couple day space would help to focus on possible solutions.

    We talked after that two day break and we decided to try to take things slower and continue to give each other space when needed.

    Since then, we ended up seeing each other 2-3 times a week and unfortunately, things with her daughter went from bad to worse. Ex became very anxious and started pulling away from me and focusing her efforts on her daughter which I supported. I gave her space and let her deal with her daughter. There was a potential that the daughter may have had to go back into an eating disorder unit. But they decided to try home feeding monitoring instead.

    11 days ago, EX asked if I am and if she could come over via text. I knew something was wrong and sensed she was going to break up with me. So I packed up all her stuff including her fan that she lent me.

    She arrived, we kissed on the lips, and then she sat down and told me she could not do this anymore, she was overwhelmed with her daughter, she could not give to everyone in her life and was finding it difficult to balance with her friends, daughter, and me. She had tried to make it work but could not do it anymore, I asked if it was something I did and she said no. I asked if there was someone else and she said no. She said she needs to be alone and does not want a relationship at this time. She cannot focus on one and feels being alone is best.

    I did not argue with her and gave her stuff back and thanked her for the fun times as she left my apartment. Kudos to her for doing it in person although a neutral location would have been better even a walk away from my apartment.

    I texted her right away not to grove but to express my gratitude for her being a good caring girlfriend and I was sorry she was going through so much stuff. I said that I wish we could casually date or be friends some day but it will take time and healing. I wished her well and hoped that things would turn out better for her daughter. Signed the text “Yours truly, me”

    Then she sent me a long text the next day to update me on her daughter who they found out from a physician appointment that she did not have to go back to the eating disorder unit but would have to be monitored each and every meal by my Ex and her ex husband, the dad. She went on to say that she is sorry it had to end and that she wish she could handle things a lot better. She thanked me for being a great boyfriend who was patient and thoughtful. She listed a bunch of the good things she would remember and hoped I would remember them as well.

    I texted her back right away and thanked her for letting me know about her daughter and I again hoped she would get better soon. I also told her I was confused since things were good between us and that further concessions of time could be made so we could still hang out even as friends at some point. I signed the text “take care”. She did it reply to that text.

    Two days go by and she texted me at 11:00 pm telling me about a mutual friend who did well in his race and that he thanked me for lending him my hydration pack. She went on to say that she would get the pack at next group run, wash it, and drop it off to me when convenient. And signed it “take care.” This last part made me mad since she is the one who broke up and was still trying to stay connected. May be she read me wanting to be friends (with ignoring my qualification that it will take time and healing) at some point and felt that the breakup was amicable enough to contact me so soon. But for me, I need no contact which was implicit with the breakup.

    I have not replied to that text message. Prior to that text message, she also liked a couple of my social media posts and mutual friend’s posts, She has ceased doing that since that text message.

    10 days of No Contact has been really hard since we texted everyday and called each other almost everyday and saw each other 2-3 times a week. Sexual intimate relationships are addictive. I know that she needs to be alone and work on her stuff and I need time to heal from the breakup. So No Contact seems best for both of us. It is really hard. There is a part of me that hopes that may be one of these days, we can talk and sort things out and get back together but a stronger part of me knows that it will be a challenge and probably will not work out in the very long term.

    1. Hey!
      Your story sounds so similar to mine
      It's so sad to end a relationship when everything is working

      How did it go afterwards?

  9. My boyfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago.. We had a good relationship, laughed a lot, lots in common but I have more responsibilities than he does. He said he didn’t know if he was really ready to settle down.. he started dating a girl he went to high school with 2 weeks ago. The last time we talked was 10 days ago. He said he loved me, always will but he didn’t know what he wanted and I was always giving him a hard time and he was happy for now.. I tried texting him today and nothing.. he hasn’t responded.. he has talked to my best friend and asked how I was and he told her he was happy.. I’m so confused..I want him back...

  10. My man cheated 2 months ago as he is working in China. The chinese very young girl got preagnant and he forced her to abortion. I have talked once with him after i discovered this. Then nothing.. No text, mail or call.. Total silence fior me. For our friends he behaves as nothing happened. I have told everyone we are not a couple anymore.
    I find this behaviour odd. I asked him when I had my convo with him lots of questions but he just answered "I do not know"
    He talks with our teenaged daughter but not with me.
    We had been together 15 years.

  11. This has not been brought up on this forum; my ex wife left me in 1984 after dating 6 years and married for 2 years, for another guy. I had always treated her with respect and we did have a great relationship, so I thought. Since then we remarried other partners and raised families. This past month she appeared on Facebook wishing me Happy Birthday and wanting to be friends. I have no intentions of connecting with her primarily because I never received closure nor any apology. Her taking responsibility for her actions is key to any future connection.

  12. Our individual threat responses can’t separate “proper” threats like someone breaking into our house at night from “silly” threats like someone not replying to our text messages – however rational we might like to believe we are. Any definition would be arbitrary because it depends on the person and their own banks of memory and experience. If we are being ignored by someone, not only do we instinctively try and work out why (that drive for certainty again), we can easily fall prey to ideologies of emotional resilience: how we “should” be able to rise above certain behaviours directed towards us.

  13. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. About 2 weeks before that he had said we needed a break from each otjer. All this over the phone (have not talked to him in person since March 13th) we work together, but since 3 weeks ago he has been avoiding me, and makes sure not to be where I'm at until I leave. We only dated for 6 months, but we had worked and talked togetjer for 3 years, so all of a sudden not talking or seeing him hurts A LOT!

  14. Heartbreak is the hardest. You’re an asshole for directing people to a site that will only take your money. I hope karma exists.

  15. After 4 years I met again my first ex and suddenly we enjoy spending time together with no attachment, eating, and even calling late at night but just before this I just had my ex-bf broke up when I suddenly met the first ex I opened to him just like the old days but all of the sudden he just ignored me when the past few days he keeps on letting me felt like he still likes me? I don't know maybe I'm just confused right now, the only reason I remember why he ignores me all of the sudden is when I told him the reason I broke up with my ex and don't feel like having a new relationship? That might be the reason why the next day he just started to ignore me, I felt very and sad but I don't want to text or call him back over again because he already ignores me this past few days while I keep on calling him and he doesn't answer my calls... Any suggestions on what should I do? I still like him though but I don't want to admit it because he's already distant.

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