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Why Am I Single? (37 Little-Known Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

A lot of people live incredibly fulfilled lives as single people, and it comes with an array of benefits you might have forgotten about - the endless freedom is just the start. However, being single is only great until you realize that you don’t want a single life anymore, and you can’t find the perfect person for you to get into a relationship with.

If you’re wondering why you can’t find the right person to change your relationship status with, it might seem frustrating, especially if everyone around you is happily taken. So, fear not, this article is going to share the 37 possible reasons why you’re still available.

Contents

1. You actually want to be single.

Although you might think that you want to be in a relationship or you experience feeling waves of jealousy towards the happy couples around you, one of the biggest reasons you are still alone is probably because deep down you want to be alone. You might actually be incredibly happy with your life right now, and if it’s good, why would you want to change it? Just because other people around you are in relationships, doesn’t mean you have to be.

2. You feel like you should be in a relationship.

If you think that you should be in a relationship and you’re pressured by society or the people around you, you will actually be less likely to try and get into a relationship, because it’s not you that wants a partner. If you are feeling pressured into starting a relationship with someone due to what society deems you should be doing, it will never be successful, because it’s not what you want to do deep down.

3. You don’t love yourself.

If you don’t love yourself, or even like yourself, someone is going to find it very hard to want to be with you. If you have a lack of self-love, you will most likely feel like you need someone to reassure you that you can be loved, and this often comes off as being extremely needy. In addition, someone that doesn’t love herself often makes it difficult for others to love her because she self-sabotage as she doesn’t feel worthy. 

4. You don’t know what you want

If you don’t know what you’re looking for in a man or what you want in a relationship, you’re going to find it extremely difficult to find a partner. If you have no idea what kind of person you want to be with or what you want from a long term relationship, you might jump from dating guy to guy because you’re confused.

5. You don’t trust. 

Trust issues are one of the biggest reasons to stay alone even when they don’t want to be. If you’ve been cheated on in the past, or have abandonment trauma from childhood you might find it incredibly hard to trust anyone, and therefore this will be holding you back from potential relationships.

6. You have commitment issues.

Are you scared of commitment? If so, this could be the reason that you haven’t found a relationship yet, because you’re never allowing yourself to actually commit to someone and see how things work out with them. People with commitment issues are normally happy to date potential partners, but as soon as the feeling of ‘getting tied down’ to someone comes up, they run. 

7. Everyone around you is taken. 

The reason you’re not in a relationship yet could quite simply be that there isn’t an array of available people in the area you live in. Perhaps you want to widen your search for a potential partner to other towns and cities and see if your luck changes!

8. The idea of dating scares you.

Are you particularly introverted, or do you struggle with meeting someone new? Obviously, if you’re scared about going on dates and meeting new people, then this something that is holding you back. Try to work on your self-confidence or see a professional to work through your anxiety problems.

The idea of dating scares you.

9. You like going on dates too much to settle down.

Quite simply, dating is fun and there’s no doubt about it. The feeling of getting to know someone is exciting and the feeling of intense passion in the first few weeks of dating someone is exhilarating, so maybe you just don’t want to give that up. You might be scared of moving past the honeymoon phase in a relationship, and therefore that’s holding you back to commit to someone.

10. You want to have sex with an array of people.

If you’re a highly sexually active person, you might find the thought of only being able to have sex with one person quite daunting, and that’s why you can’t commit to anyone. You have to weigh up whether having the freedom to have sex with an array of people outweighs a long term relationship. 

11. You don’t do anything to meet new people.

If you’re sat in front of the TV every night of the week, it’s obvious that you’re not going to meet someone. To meet someone you need to spend time in social situations doing things you like, outside of the comfort of your own home. Don’t expect the right person to magically turn up at your door!

12. You’re looking in the wrong places.

You could be trying to put yourself out there a lot, only to realize that you’re still not finding your perfect match. If you really are making an effort to put yourself in social situations in the hope you’ll meet new people, one of the reasons you’re failing at finding a potential partner is because you’re looking in all of the wrong places. 

13. You’re too busy with work.

You’re never going to find a man if you’re too concentrated on your career. Obviously, it’s amazing that you’re such a career-focused woman, but if you’re getting upset about the fact you’re still single, it might be a good idea to dedicate more time to socializing and meeting your match. 

14. You won’t try online dating.

Online dating has become increasingly popular over the last few years, and it’s a great way to meet a perfect match. If you’re against online dating and too caught up with the fact you want to meet your match in real life, that could be why you might be finding it hard to find someone. Let go of your online dating judgment and give it a go!

15. You don’t let your friends set you up with anyone.

You might find yourself still alone because you never let your friends set you up on dates with anyone, even though they persist and persist! Blind dates, especially when set up by people that know you, are a great way to meet a potential match, so get out of your comfort zone and say yes to being set up next time.

16. You are expecting a fairytale love.

Let’s be honest, everyone wants an incredible love story, and everyone wants to feel the passion and love like never before. You might be holding yourself back because you want to feel a fairytale type of love, when in fact love takes time, and relationships require work.

You are expecting a fairytale love.

17. You’re a strong woman that men feel intimated by.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a strong woman, in fact, it’s incredible, so credit to you! However, the only problem with being a strong woman is that you will often intimidate men and therefore a guy might prefer to be your friend rather than your lover. However, don’t worry, a strong man that supports independent women will come along soon and be worthy of you.

18. You’re too scared to get hurt.

A lot of people deny themselves a chance at love because they are too scared of being hurt. The truth is, obviously people do get hurt when it comes to love, but a lot of people also find happiness and commitment. There’s a chance you could be hurt, but there’s also a chance you could find joy. 

19. As soon as you see a problem with someone, you stop seeing them.

Do you see one negative quality in someone and run for the hills? This is going to hold you back from finding your perfect match, because the truth is, all humans are flawed in certain ways, and you’ll never find a person that doesn’t have any negative qualities. So, if you keep searching for the perfect human, you’ll remain by yourself.

20. You go for the wrong type of guys.

If you’re always choosing the wrong type of men to date, you’ll always be alone. Perhaps you find the bad boy initially attractive, but then realize that he’s too crazy to see a future with, or you choose a party boy that seems like fun but it turns out you’re too tired to hit the clubs every night and end up staying home like his mother.

21. You’ve actually never been fully single.

Do you jump from man to man? If so, one of the reasons you won’t be able to find a proper relationship will be because you’ve actually never taken a step back and been single long enough to figure out what you’re looking for in a partner. You need to be properly alone first in order to properly commit to someone in the future. 

22. The person you want is taken.

If you know the person you want, but he’s taken, all your doing is holding yourself back at finding someone better. Although it’s difficult to move on from someone you love, it’s necessary if you’re ever going to find real love with someone new. Stop holding yourself back over someone that’s already taken. 

23. You enjoy your alone time too much.

If you enjoy your alone time a lot, it can feel daunting to open up the idea of a relationship because you know someone else is going to be around you all the time. You might be holding yourself back from finding love because you enjoy being by yourself too much.

24. You’re not the most friendly person.

This point is a difficult one to get to terms with, but maybe the reason you’re still single is that you’re not a very friendly person to people that you don’t know. It’s going to be incredibly difficult to meet someone new if you’re standoffish, rude, or judgmental. 

25. You never allow anyone to get to know you.

If you’re a very private person, you might hold yourself back from finding a partner because you don’t want to share details about you or your life with anyone. If someone can’t get to know you, they’re not going to be able to fall in love with you. 

26. You have really high standards.

If you have really high standards, it’s pretty self-explanatory why you’re finding it hard to find anyone - no one is ever going to live up to your standards. It doesn’t mean you have to lower your standards a lot, but maybe just set the bar slightly lower and try to get to know someone first before judging them against your ideal.

You have really high standards

27. Or… you have really low standards.

If you have really low standards, you’re going to go for anyone that comes your way, and some of these people are going to be the wrong type of guys, or they might treat you badly. You may want to set your standards a little higher and figure out the basics of what you want someone to be like before deciding to date them. 

28. You’re too scared of rejection to even date.

If you’re too scared about getting rejected, you’ll never take a chance on anyone, and therefore you’re denying yourself the opportunity to love. 

29. You’re not prioritizing dating.

Although you’d like to find a partner, if you’re not making dating a priority in your life, you probably won’t find someone. You need to actually go on dates and meet new people if you want to find love. 

30. You talk about marriage too early on.

Are you slightly too obsessed with marriage? You might still be alone because you come onto any potential matches too strongly and you talk about marriage too early which will undoubtedly scare them away.

31. You’re worried about your biological clock, so mention it early on.

If you’re reaching a certain age and you want children, you might feel your biological clock ticking and let any potential matches know that you want to have children too early on in the relationship, which will most likely make them run as fast as possible. 

32. You’re a control freak.

Love is uncontrollable and if you’re a bit of a control freak, you won’t allow yourself to open up to love because quite simply you can’t control it. You need to release some of your control when it comes to love.

33. You don’t know how to flirt properly.

One of the simplest things that might be holding you back from finding your perfect match could be your inability to flirt. This is easily fixable though, just make sure you’re getting a lot of eye contact with the person you want, show body language signs of attraction towards them, compliment them, and be confident. 

34. You struggle with jealousy.

If you’re an overly jealous person, you could be holding yourself back from finding love because anyone that’s interested in being with you finds the jealously unbearable. Jealousy isn’t healthy, and you need to work through any issues you have surrounding trust and jealousy before trying to find a partner.

35. You constantly compare everyone to your ex.

You’re never going to find someone if you’re always comparing potential matches to your ex because, obviously, someone new isn’t going to match up to the love you felt towards your ex due to the history there. Try to find closure and stop letting your ex hold you back.

36. You choose people that are emotionally unavailable.

Do you have a thing for trying to fix people, or heal people’s hearts? If so, this is unfortunately what will be holding you back from having a successful relationship, because you’re choosing to date people that are emotionally unavailable and therefore they will never be able to give you what you need.

You choose people that are emotionally unavailable

37. People around you are pushing you to get into a relationship.

If everyone around you is telling you to find a partner, the last thing you will do is probably find a successful partner. Either you will find a partner as soon as possible that isn’t right for you just to shut them up, or you’ll rebel and enjoy your independent life even more!

FAQs

How do I stop being single?

You can take a look at the article ‘How To Find a Boyfriend (17 Tips To Change Your Relationship Status) but, overall, make sure you know what you want, prioritize dating, make an effort and you’ll meet someone.

Why you should stay single?

It’s completely up to you whether you want to stay single or you’d prefer to be in a relationship with someone. No one can tell you what kind of life you should live, so whether you’re alone or taken, just make sure you’re doing what you would like to do.

How can I stay single and happy?

You can stay single and happy by realizing that a partner is not going to complete you in any way because you’re already complete. Enjoy the freedom you have, enjoy spending time with your loved ones, and enjoy the life you live, every day. 

How do you love being single?

Learn to love yourself, take full advantage of the freedom you have to do whatever you want, get immersed in your career, and enjoy the people you have around you. 

Is it OK to be single forever?

Of course, it’s OK to be single forever. As long as you are happy and you are living a life that fulfills you, you can do whatever you want and be with or not be with whomever you choose. 

To Sum Up... 

Hopefully, this article has helped you to figure out what the reason, or reasons, are that you are still single, and shed some light on how you can work through those issues and work to find your perfect match. 

Did you like this article? Let us know in the comments and share!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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