It can be really concerning when you think your boyfriend is speaking to someone else. Is he cheating on you or is he just speaking with a female friend? Whatever the answer is, you have every right to be concerned if your boyfriend is giving more attention to his phone than he is to you. It can be hard to sit there while he texts away. Surely, he should be giving you all of his love and effort to you, not to his phone? The good news is, this article is here to help guide you through this difficult situation you find yourself in.
Firstly, we will look at the signs that your boyfriend is speaking to someone else, to ensure that’s what you think he is doing. Then we will take a look at how you can see who it is that your man is messaging all the time. Finally, we will discuss what you should do when you find out your man is speaking to someone else, and how to move forward in the best way possible.
- 1 Signs that your boyfriend could be texting someone else.
- 2 So, do you think he is speaking to someone else?
- 3 Ways to see who your boyfriend is texting.
- 4 What should you do once you have found out who he is talking to?
- 5 Conclusion
Signs that your boyfriend could be texting someone else.
1. He is always using his cell phone.
Not only can it be particularly ruder and feel unfair when your man is on his phone, but it can be a cause for concern. Who could he possibly be speaking to that is more important to him than you? It could be his new love interest.
2. He won’t let you on his phone.
Is your man particularly protective over you going on his phone? Perhaps you just want to check something when you don’t have your phone, but he snatches his phone away and doesn’t let you on it. He might also change the password on his phone and not tell you it so that when he isn’t around you can’t use his phone.
3. When you text them, they seem to reply slowly, but they are always on their phone when you are around them.
There could be two meanings to this – he is either not interested in you anymore, or someone else on his phone warrants his attention more than you do. No one should come above you if you are a couple, so it can be really hard to deal with if you know your boyfriend is always on his phone, but he doesn’t reply, or his replies are delayed to you.
4. He won’t answer calls around you anymore.
Have you noticed that your boyfriend has started to leave your presence whenever he needs to take calls recently? He might not want you to hear him talking to his new woman. If he can’t leave to take the call, you might realize that he declines certain incoming calls.
So, do you think he is speaking to someone else?
Hopefully after looking at the signs above you might have concluded that your boyfriend isn’t speaking to anyone else. However, if this isn’t the case and you do suspect he is unacceptably speaking to another woman, I have a few ways that you can figure out who she is and what the nature of their conversations are.
Ways to see who your boyfriend is texting.
There are a few different ways for you to find out who your boyfriend is texting, but I need to tell you that if you can’t be open and honest with your boyfriend, then this isn’t a very healthy relationship in the first place. In a committed and loving relationship, you should be able to share everything with each other and as soon as you see something going wrong, you communicate with each other and try to fix it.
However, I also do understand that you might have once had a loving and committed relationship with each other, but your man has ruined this between you because he is (possibly) speaking to someone else. So, let’s take a look at some of the ways you can figure out if your man is being faithful, or has broken your trust by texting another woman.
1. Look on his phone.
This might be hard if your boyfriend has a passcode on his phone that you don’t know, or if he spends a lot of time with it by his side. However, I am sure you will be able to find some time where your boyfriend is not attached to his phone.
When you do, you might want to make sure he won’t be back and searching for his phone straight away. You can’t let him catch you on his phone, or he will accuse you of not trusting him (even if you have a reason not to) and it could start a big argument.
So, you need to be clever. For example, if your boyfriend ever leaves his phone in the bathroom, run in and lock the door. You can run the shower and get in it afterward. You then have a good amount of time in the bathroom, with no distractions to look on his phone. He won’t be able to get in because of the lock too.
When you are on his phone, check everything. You will not only want to look at his texts but take a look at his social media messages, his photos, and his emails. You might also want to take a look around and see if he has any dating apps. Also, you could check his internet search history. Who knows, he could have been searching how to hide another woman from you.
Once you have found your evidence, you can take a photo of it with your phone for proof. This way he can’t deny anything when you confront him. If you haven’t found any evidence or you couldn’t get the passcode right on his phone, don’t worry. There are other ways that you can figure out who he’s texting.
When you are done with his phone, it’s crucial that you shut all the tabs that you were looking at on his phone. To do this on an iPhone, double-tap the middle button and swipe up on all the tabs you were looking at. You need to leave the phone exactly where you found it, on the same thing you found it on when you unlocked it.
2. Confide in his friends or your friends about your concerns, maybe they can help you.
Let’s take on confiding in his friends first. You will need to have a pretty strong relationship with his friends to be able to speak to them about this kind of stuff. So, if you don’t, or it is a new relationship you are in, I would avoid doing this because you might come off as the ‘crazy girlfriend’. However, if you are close to his friends or you have mutual friends, you could tell them about your concerns. Maybe they know something in the first place and will open up to you about it. If not, they might be able to help you. They might be able to look into your boyfriend’s phone or ask him outright about it. You need to tell them not to mention anything to do with you if they do then it could come back around and bite you. If done correctly though, they might be able to give you some kind of clue or a name.
When it comes to your friends, you can confide in them with absolute trust – they are your friends, not his. However, they could also be useful and help you to find out who it is that your boyfriend is texting. They could ask around and see if anyone knows anything. They might also be able to give you some advice that worked for them if they have been through this situation before.
3. Spy on his phone.
This is a big invasion of privacy, so you need to be careful if you choose to go down this path to find your answers. You need to be confident that your boyfriend is cheating on you and speaking to someone else. If he isn’t, and he finds out that you used spying software to check what was happening on his phone, he will most likely freak out, think that you’re slightly crazy and leave. This is clearly not the goal.
You can download spy programs that will look at what is happening on your boyfriend’s phone. It might tell you who he is texting, calling or contacting on social media. Some independent hackers can do this for you too. However, these kinds of programs come at a price.
I would only recommend using this as a final resort. If you can figure out who your boyfriend is texting any other way, it’s a much better, safer and less costly idea.
What should you do once you have found out who he is talking to?
Make sure you know what the nature of the texts are like.
Once you figure out who your boyfriend is texting, you need to find out what the nature of the messages between them are like. If they are flirty or sexual, then you have your answer that your boyfriend is cheating on you. However, he might just be speaking to an old female friend.
You do not want to accuse him of cheating on you if he is simply catching up with a platonic friend he has known since he was a child.
Once you know that you have your facts straight, it is time to confront your boyfriend. It’s normally best to try and stay calm when you are confronting him, otherwise, it might just turn into a shouting match. Try to tell him how you feel rather than accuse and blame him. At the end of the day, of course, you want to make him feel your pain but you also want him to open up about what he has been doing with another woman and why.
Decide what you are going to do moving forward.
After you have confronted your boyfriend, it’s a good idea to take some time out and really think about how you want to move forward. Is he worth spending more time with and trying to get your relationship back on track? Or, are you ready to run far away from him and never look back?
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This is really your decision. Don’t let him impact it at all. Cheaters always say that they will change, but the truth is that they normally don’t. He will probably hurt you again.
Work through it together or move on.
Your decision will either be to work through it together or to move on by yourself. Whatever decision you choose, you need to stick to it. Don’t tell him that you are leaving to just go running back to him a week later. If you decide to work through the situation together, seeing a relationship therapist might be useful to help you understand why he felt the urge to stray away from you.
If you decide to leave him and move on by yourself, you are going to need to be strong-willed. He will probably beg you to come back to him, he will tell you sweet nothings and make all kinds of promises. However, you need to be strong and let him go. It is really beneficial to surround yourself with people that will support you in the early stages of you moving on as a single person.
Whatever you find out, and however you decide to move forward with the information, you need to make sure you are always strong-willed. Don’t let anyone walk over you, because you deserve so much more than that.
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You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You