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23 Signs A Younger Man Likes An Older Woman

Last updated on June 4, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Is there a younger man in your life who you have a crush on? 

Are you wondering whether he feels the same? 

Perhaps he’s sent some signals that you’ve been unable to read. 

If so, this is the guide for you. It will reveal 16 clearcut signs that a younger man likes an older woman. 

But, before we get into this, I want to share an important story with you. 

Recently, I discovered a little-known secret of male psychology. 

This psychological trigger affects how they perceive the women in their lives. 

It’s called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ - and it would appear to have a huge impact on who they are attracted to. 

I know because I tried it out for myself. 

Once I knew how to activate this ‘attraction trigger’, men began to behave a lot differently around me. Read my personal story to learn more. 

This can be the difference between a younger man ignoring you or worshipping you 

Of course, it might be that the younger man in your life already likes you. 

Read on for the signs that this is the case.

Reasons Why Younger Men Fall For Older Women?

There are so many reasons why a man could be into older women. Perhaps the most obvious or main reason is that they admire women’s experience when they are a number of years older. This could be because that experience translates into more confidence, a more interesting past but also greater wisdom or understanding. To some, that experience and confidence will translate into knowing what they want in the bedroom, which men more often than not want, but also that confidence can simply be incredibly attractive to any men.

The reason being that confidence in women is such an attractive trait to younger men is that they will admire that those women know what they want in life. Younger women are often at a stage where they are still a little unsure as to what they want in the future and how they want their life to be. An older lady will have been through more and so know how to handle certain situations and also will quite simply have less patience to waste time doing things they don’t want to do. They will be naturally more assertive as a consequence which are all traits that younger men often love to see in the people they date. 

They often see relationships with older women as massive learning curves too and love to take the opportunity of a relationship with a lady that is older to discover new things. That can mean realizing how to please a woman between the sheets as well as being told what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. A younger woman, for example, may be a lot more tolerant of a guy who is flakey when it comes to plans or who is shifty when it comes to talking about the future. 

It is often seen with older women though that they will not tolerate such actions from any guy they are dating. This comes from having experience of such actions in the past which did not make them happy but also from knowing that it is ok to call out behavior that is not respectful of their feelings. 

How Will You Know He Is Attracted To An Older Woman?

How Will You Know He Is Attracted To An Older Woman?

There are a number of key indicators that point out when a younger man is into an older woman. They don’t all have to be present for him to have a crush on an older lady and for him to be looking specifically to date a older woman that he is lusting after. Just one or two need to be seen to show that he would like to take things further with the woman that could be years older than him. 

1. He Touches Her A Lot

Touch is such a key way to see if a younger man is into an older woman. It is a key sign with any two people that like each other, but between older women and younger men, it is essential. It is one of the first forms of flirting and as a result, it is one of the methods young men use to get the attention of the older women that they like. If she touches him back a lot or does not move away from his advances, then the odds are that she is keen to start dating the guy who seems to like her. 

2. He Is Very Affectionate

If younger men are already dating much older women, but the women are unsure as to whether the guy is really into them or not, a key way to see if he wants an older female is and if he is keen to take the relationship further is if he is continually affectionate with the woman he is dating. Even if he is years younger than her and lacking the life experience that she has, he will still demonstrably show his feelings for her by being far more affectionate with her than he would be otherwise. 

3. His Eyes Dilate

A good method to tell if a guy has a crush on an older woman is if his eyes dilate when he talks to her. This is something that the body does as a reflexive reaction when we are near a person that we are attracted to. It is a key giveaway and something that we cannot do anything about. It happens naturally and as a result, it lets people know a person’s true feelings - even if they prefer to keep those feelings a secret. 

4. He Talks About Her A Lot

If a younger guy talks about an older woman all the time, there is a very good chance that he also may want to have a relationship with her past the platonic one that they already might have. This may or might not get the attention of the older lady that he may want to take things further with, but in either situation, it is one of the natural reactions that younger guys display when they like an older woman. 

5. He Contacts Her Often

Contacting older women is a conscious decision that young men take when they want to spend more time with a lady they like. It is particularly obvious that he might like her if there is no need for him to contact her either. He will call, message, and email her with not a lot to say. He might ask her many questions about her life in an effort to get to know her better or he may also simply talk to her about pretty superficial things. Either way, he does so to spend more time with her and hopefully build a strong connection and rapport. 

6. He Makes An Effort With Her Children

There is a good chance that older women may have children. If men, who are a few years younger than the older women they have a crush on, want to start a relationship with those older women, they will make a huge effort to make a good impression on any children that the older women have. This is understandable as children are such an important part of people’s lives that they can be a massive relationship deal breaker or maker. 

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

7. He Flirts With Her

As ever, with any romantic connection, flirting is a massive giveaway that a young man fancies an older woman. While this is the case across the board when it comes to starting relationships, flirting is particularly common for young men who prefer older women. The reason being is that flirting is a slightly less conspicuous way of showing their intentions - ordinarily young men will simply ask a girl on a date if they like her. However, with older women, they tend to feel more out of their depth so just flirt instead while they figure out their action plan. 

8. He Swots Up On Her Likes

In an effort to make up for the age difference, a young man will often improve his knowledge of what the older female he is into does in her spare time. This is so that he can know what she does when she isn’t working and so that he can also maintain a conversation with her more easily. 

9. He Asks Her Out On A Date

9. He Asks Her Out On A Date

This may sound obvious, but if an older woman is not sure if a man who is younger than her is into her, it is easy to overlook the more usual ways that a relationship can start. Bearing that in mind, if a younger guy asks an older lady out on a date, then it can be taken that he has a crush on her and would like to take things further with her. 

Whether he is into the girl for a serious relationship and he is looking for a life partner will remain to be seen, as sometimes younger guys simply prefer to date older women for flings and superficial connections. However, if he asks you out on a date, and you are older than him, he is taking a big step to declaring his feelings towards you

10. He Gets Her Phone Number

In order to grow a connection with older women, younger guys need to have the phone numbers of the women that they like. If you find out, therefore than a younger guy has managed to get hold of your number without you giving it to him, then there is a high chance that he is into you. It may be that he has every intention of calling you up to say that he wants to take you on a date, or it may be that he is going to call you to know more about you through lengthier conversation than you have had in the past. 

11. He Ditches His Friends To Be With Her

A key indicator that younger men are into older women is if they consistently ditch their friends to spend more time with the older women that they want in their life. The reason that this is such a key sign is that younger men tend to enjoy the company of their friends a lot as they commonly look for serious romantic connections when they are a little older. However, if they want to get to know a woman who is a few years older than them, they will happily bailout of many plans with their friends to see her. 

12. He Defers To Her

If you want to know if a younger guy is into you as the older woman, try to notice if he defers to you many times. This means that he is happy to do as you want a lot and he wants to know what you are going to say before he forms his own opinions. This could be because he values your life experience, but whatever the age difference, if he is into you he will be keen to please you in any way he can. 

13. He Asks Her Opinion

As well as offering to an older woman, a younger guy will also ask her opinion a lot if he wants her in his life with a romantic connection. Older women will naturally have more life experience than a man who is less old than them which is why a younger guy will naturally look to her for her viewpoint on a number of different ideas and notions. Asking someone’s opinion is a key display of attraction because it shows respect for a person too. Respect, when coupled with chemistry, offer translates into a want for a relationship or at least getting to know someone in a romantic sense.  

14. He Gazes At Her

When younger men are in thrall with older women, they will give the game away if they are trying to keep it a secret by gazing at her without realizing it. If the pair know each other socially or through work, or in some other manner, the younger guy will take every opportunity to look at her. This is when his eyes will also dilate, though that happens when he is talking to her one on one too. What’s great about gazing as a signal is that he will be totally unaware that he is doing it. His stare will just naturally move towards her, even if he is engaged in a full-on conversation with someone else. 

15. He Compliments Her

They may not even notice that they are even doing it, but when younger men are into older ladies, they compliment them as much as possible. This can take many forms and often men will probably be quite subtle about it, but a good way to tell if men have a crush on older women is if they say appreciative and celebratory type things towards her. Compliments can vary in magnitude, but if you keep an eye out for them, you’ll probably notice that he is subtly doing it all the time. 

16. He Wants To Know All About Her

16. He Wants To Know All About Her

If there is a younger guy in your life that is asking you lots of questions about everything you have ever done, there is a good chance that he has a crush on you. Some of his questions could unintentionally make you feel a little old, but take it as a compliment that he is so interested in you. 

The reason that he wants to know all the things there is to know about you is because he has a lot of respect for you and also that he is incredibly attracted to you. It’s a key signal that a younger guy is into dating women who are a few years older than them if they ask for long detailed life experience stories.

17. He Always Shows Up

While not all men are guilty of this, many men will flake out on plans with women they are dating if they have lukewarm feelings towards them. However, in the case of younger guys who prefer older women, it is a rare occurrence that they don’t show up for plans that the older woman and the young man make together. The reason being is that often younger guys are into older women because they want to have a serious relationship and as such are never flakey in their appointments or dates together. Men who are into older women go for them for the fact that older women will potentially be keener on having a serious, long-lasting relationship than young women will. 

18. He Asks Her To Meet His Family

Women tend to read a lot into when a man they are seeing meets their family. Men are usually attuned to this and as a result, a key sign that they display when they are serious about a woman is if they ask to meet their family. This is because family members are important in any women’s life and a man who wants to be her partner will want to ingratiate himself into every aspect of the woman’s life as they can. 

19. He Tries To Act More Mature 

If a young man has a crush on an older lady, he will try to act more mature around her. How this manifests itself will vary from man to man, as well as with respect to the older women they are trying to garner the attention of. However, you may see that a man will not fool around so much, take part in more serious conversation, and also try to do what is seen as more mature activities. Things like giving up playing sports with their buddies at the weekend and opting for more sedate, less rugged things instead. 

20. He Listens To Her

A common characteristic of a man that is into going out with older women is that he will always listen to the woman he has a crush on. While this is often the case when looking for a partner, whether you are into older women, younger women, or any age in between, it is particularly the case with a young man who often goes for older women. The reason being is one of the things that they like so much about older women is their life experience and everything that they can learn from those experiences too. As a result, they listen more intently as they naturally respect what older women have to say given that they are much more mature. 

21. He Is Protective Of Her

Even though men who are into older women are of a younger age, they can still be protective of the women they have a crush on, despite their age and maybe being less mature. Being protective is actually a signal that any man will display when he is into someone, but it is more acute when men are into older women. The reason being is that they feel the need to bring something to the relationship they want to start with the women they are into. Being protective is a natural instinctive reaction and one way that men can always assert over women. 

22. He Seems Shy Around Her

It’s such a key giveaway when any young men are into women who are older than them, but if you notice a young guy being uncharacteristically shy around you, it is likely that he wants to see you romantically. Being shy is what many men who aren’t as old as you display because it is their method of coping with their feelings and trying to keep a handle on ways that they could be showing their crush. They could feel the need to not reveal their feelings and this is why they are shy a lot of the time around the women they are into. 

23. He Is Interested In Her Hobbies

23. He Is Interested In Her Hobbies

If you have noticed a young man being interested in your hobbies and what you do in your spare time, he could have a crush on you. This will be due to the natural respect he has for someone more mature than him but also because he wants to get to know you better and know more about your life. A fundamental thing in anyone’s life is what their hobbies are and as a result this is why a man could want to know more about yours. 


What Is The Attraction Of An Older Woman?

Some men like all older women for many different reasons. However, most commonly, younger men will like the experience that an older woman actually has. This experience will often translate into more mature emotions and adult ways of dealing with situations as well as more experience in the bedroom.

What Is It Called When An Older Man Dates A Younger Woman?

A commonly used term in the modern-day for when older men date younger women is known as a manther. This specifically refers to when a man dates a much younger woman than himself.

Does Age Matter In A Relationship When The Woman Is Older?

Age should never really matter in a relationship if two people love each other. Society as a whole tends to raise eyebrows when the woman is older purely because it is more uncommon. This is often because women tend to be more emotionally mature which is why they often go for older men.

At What Age Does A Man Look His Best?

Men age in different ways and as a result, different men can look better at different stages in their lives. There will be some men that look great with grey hair or later on in their lives while others will look their best as a young gentleman in their 20s.

At What Age Does A Woman Become Sexually Inactive?

A woman becomes sexually active at different times in her life depending on the hormones in her body. For this reason, the menopause, which starts at different times and ages in different women, has a large bearing on when a woman is libido diminishes to nothing.

On A Final Note

Looking out for all the signals that a younger man is into dating older women can be easy at times as so often it is the natural, reflexive reactions that first give them away. From there, it is usually quite plain to see many other signals that act as a way of highlighting how much they are into a woman. 

Of course, one of the easiest ways to find out if a guy is into an older woman is simply by asking him outright. If you are that older lady, take advantage of the fact that the younger guy with a crush on you will most likely want you to take charge of the situation. While this could put you outside your comfort zone, if you have feelings for him, then sometimes asking directly is your only option. 

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

18 comments on “23 Signs A Younger Man Likes An Older Woman”

  1. I am 73, i meet a handsome, sexy younger man three years ago. He has been pursuing me since. He is 55. I have finally agreed to go out with him but am a little insecure about dating a man the same age as my oldest daughter. We talk on the phone and thru text often ( he always initiates) and have really great communication. He’s very flirty , fun and makes me laugh a lot.
    I feel 18 years difference might be a bit to much, he says no way.

    What do you think?

    1. your both "old in societies standards" so it dont matter no more. its what you agree to do together from here on out that matters.

  2. I’m in the same situation with the age difference of 18yrs. It’s been 4 years together. We’re in love. I say go for it!

  3. Thanks so much for posting. Same here; 18 years apart. Men my age want a nurse and a purse. Not my man...he just wants me!

  4. There’s a younger neighbor that is 60 years old came to my door showing lots of interest in me. I’m 74. I told him my age and said he said we will only be friends. He calls and texts every single day for 6 months now. He’ll call and talk about his life for hours. He has invited me camping with him and we take short trips. No sex or affection at all.
    I believe if someone is truly in love-age would not matter, but it’s a big problem to him. We spend a lot of time together helping each other do things on our homes. We are extremely well suited. I’m glad in a way because his health from an accident is very bad. He’s looking for someone 55-68.
    This makes me feel old and I now feel I need a facelift. I’ve been tormented for months because I feel “less than.”

    1. This man is attracted to you but is obviously very insecure and wants a younger woman to boost his ego. Just accept you will only be friends and move on. Find someone who will love you for yourself. I have dated older and younger men and refuse to let a man belittle me. I have always enjoyed be with younger men. BTW, I am 65 and my last lover was 38!

    2. That was your first mistake, telling him you age. Some men are hanged up on our age like it is an expiration date! Harrison Ford didnt tell Flockhart his age. She didnt really bother to find out; by then it was too late, she was hooked! This guy is.looking for a nursemaid. Some one "younger" to take care of his butt when he is old & decreped. Which seems about now. He seems worst off than you. Rather than waiting for a "brain change" from him, count it as experience. Next time they ask you ur age, reply why u need to know? We have enough prejudistice against then feeding it.Why is there no name of "Panthers" for old geezers who pounce on young thangs? Cos we still live in a chauvanistic society!

  5. OH! I am 61 with a very virile 20-year-old, handsome young man who cannot keep his hands off of me. I felt this was sick at first, but when we are together, there is no age difference!

  6. I am 65 my man is 43. He's crazy about me. I love him. We are not married but that is his desire to marry me. He calls me his wife.. are sex is incredible. The thing I'm concerned about our my insecurities about my body. He is a God physically. I have had four c- sections and my belly will never be flat. Plus I need to get crepe earse for my skin. I want to look my best for him. I dread showing my naked body. I'm very insecure about this. Cancer took a toll on my body. It makes me feel insecure. I cant compete with women his age. That will always bother me.

    1. Wow, if he likes you accept that. Just go on and stop thinking about what is not bothering him. We as women tend to do that and the man don’t care. Society has put that in many women head. Men and real man don’t look at all of that. Shoot if they did nobody would be together. Girl enjoy it! Exhale and be free to love.

    2. You say your forinificating already: do you see aline of beauties outside the door waiting to get a jump in once he.finished with you? Is he sneaking around after having a go at you with someone else? If not and you cant get those insecurities out your head, then drop him. In your pea brained mind "your not good enough." But if you can learn to accept you have found each other at this time of your life (& he wants to marry you lock, stock & barrel)consider yourself blessed! I dont know what your beliefs are but if you want a blessed marriage; i would repent for forenificating, stay separated sexually till you get married (God dont bless mess). Or stay like Goldie & Kurt w/out the matrimony. Angelina & Brad had a "good" thing going until they decided to put the bandage of matrimony on their mess
      Look where they r today!

  7. I am 57 and my husband 44. We have been together for 18+ years. He protects, respects, admires, pleased and love me so much. Genetic take place maybe as,I don’t look older than him however, I take good care of myself plus, I am very secure, confident, happy and positive person. Love and live your life today as tomorrow is not promised.

    1. Amen,most guys look older than us anyway. Demi Moore looked way better than most guys her age with much younger females. The media dogged her out! Yet these panthers are preying on the young and nothing is said. On youtube there was a documentary of a journalist whose dad(68/70) was marrying a thai female (her dad said she was 23). When she actually saw the age of the girl on the docs (as he was trying to marry her asap) she was 16 going to be 17! The journalist was shocked as her daughter was 18.

  8. Hi, I'm a 51 yr old woman, dating a 28 yr old man. He was a father at age 15 and has 4 kids. He graduated 2 yrs early and supported his family early and responsibly and thats what matured him. We clicked early on but the connection I have with him is nothing I've had before. Yes, its scary and yes I always think my age is a problem. He's open in public with me, holding my hand, inviting me out with his friends showing up at my work because he says he misses me. He hugs, kisses and doesn't care who is around and continually telling me how much he finds me intellectual, sexy and every time he's with me I simply surprise him of who I am. Understand, I've only been seeing him a month. I spent 4 yrs living with a guy my age. He never held my hand never kissed an always was trying to make me better by his standards. Hair color, weight my eating habits, etc. We never called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. Never said, I love you. He was very self absorbed but I came from an abuse 20 yr marriage and thought i would be safe and thought this was how it should be. My mistake, this younger guy has brought so much to my life in just a few months and makes me feel so loved again. I'm going to dig deep and push by our age differences. I never thought I could feel like this again! He and I are helping each other but
    I always feel the age is a problem. It's hard for me to make eye contact except when he and I are alone and then its like I'm 30 again. Age not a thought or problem.

  9. Hello am simon,I really would like to date a mature woman am 26, but all I've found only want to exploit me or makes me feel infirior over my age,kindly give anyone mature lady my email and let's try our luck,I don't mind age from 39 upwards.

    1. What are your main priorities or top qualities you are looking for (besides the aforementioned negative ones mentioned in your OP)?

      Hypothetically, what the 3 to 5 (give or take) most alluring or even definitive traits that draw you to seek more mature women (both generally and personally; if you care to disclose them, of course).

      I am early 40's, look approx 10 years younger (I get hit on or befriend both irl and on SM by dudes in their mid-20's to early-30's far probably more than those within my "socially acceptable" age demo. My ex-husband was 5 years my junior, though my last "significant" LDR since was with a man approaching 50.

      I've recently connected with a young man approximately your age, and idk how to handle it (I was in a 13 year monogamous relationship before, and have been single nearly 3 years...)

      I can't speak for every woman, but I feel infinitely more attractive and secure with my femininity/"wiles" than my 20-something counterpart...

      It's bc I know know my body far better, I respect it, and I am not ashamed of it (or my libido). I am not promiscuous, however. I've remained celibate by choice (essentially, until I meet the right match - intellectually, spiritually, creatively, etc...)

      I genuinely think I'm developing feelings for my young friend - we share a very rare bond - and I've tried to bring it up cryptically (online relationship, but we were talking in depth for hours a day for almost a month - he initiated the dynamic. But, the few times I've tried to chat real time with him if our SM logins align, he'll freeze up and answer in vague/as short ap replies...After long stretches of static between my attempts to engage and his response).

      He's incredibly articulate, kind, funny, weird like me, an "old soul"/mature beyond his years, and just a beautiful person inside. I think he feels confused just as I do; but it's easy to dismiss any positive reinforcement by thinking I'm coming off like some creep, or he's just being a gentleman, or he's just interested in the more cerebral aspects of our connection. He's similarly picky (ie. Not an "f-boy') - just (imo) perhaps insecure/less experienced (compared to his dating history), is a struggling artist (as am, I post-separation, lol), and probably impacted/influenced by what friends/family will/would possibly think. (I'm only, like, 2-3 years younger than his parents...)

      But we've each grown intimate intellectually and emotionally. I need these in even a short term relationship - and cherish his friendship, mind, and values so much so that I expressed my growing vulnerability and confusion re: him.

      Tbh, I'm not eager to settle down (or settle at all) unless it's 💯. I understand he's at a significant juncture in his life aspirationally (of which I'm authentically supportive), plus I fear "depriving" him certain "rites of passage" (despite his nontraditional beliefs, I still would always wonder - should anything develop, which, tbh, I don't *fully* know...).

      Also, he's recently pulled back a bit (which I respect as a fellow introvert. Sometimes, it's as though I can feel his energy - including suspicions he's more affected by this than he feels comfortable admitting; to himself most of all, imo).

      Yet, he responded quite positively to my attempted expression of complex feelings (with implications he was a triggering factor, but not in a way I disliked). A more flirtatious vibe underscores our msgs, though they're a lot less frequent (which is FINE! I need time to sort myself out also, and fear ever becoming an energetic drain or obligation - last thing I'd want. I want him to be happy and am content being a friend - but sometimes I wonder if I should just address the proverbial "elephant" in the room with something like "My feelings are confusing, but I do like you in ways I didn't anticipate to grow so exponentially. It's cool if you're confused too, or even disinterested. I like YOU; period. But, I'd be lying if I were to deny my increasingly distracting attraction towards you... No rush, but there's the "Cliffs Notes" version of my earlier attempt..." I think he "got" the memo, but is a little overwhelmed. I left it 2 days & sent a follow-up silly email as if to lhk I'm receptive to any number of possibilities; I just enjoy his company and think he is a very special person. It's not driven by expectations or lust or validation seeking. We're just compatible in a deeply atypical way and on multiple levels...

      Perhaps I should chill, but a part of me wants to openly address what I feel is mutual confusing and curiosity. Just to deal with it & then go from there (making it clear I still just want to get to know him without expectations; for everyone's best interests).

      I feel it's created a stagnation - and, I'm not clingy or even seeking anything finite atm. I just want to talk honestly and openly so we each understand one another - bc I know he won't out of respect and doubt (which also holds me back...)

      It's just become obvious but also a block

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