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My Boyfriend Doesn't Talk To Me: Should I Be Worried?

by Sonya Schwartz

All relationships are sweet at first. You can’t have enough of one another.

You’re constantly talking or chatting, even when you’re not together.

Then, all of a sudden, your boyfriend stops talking to you.

A myriad of questions starts to flood your mind.

Why doesn’t my boyfriend talk to me?

Have I done something wrong?

Is he in some kind of trouble? Should I be worried?

These are just some of the legit questions that could cross your mind.

Now, the truth is that he might not be talking to you because he’s cheating on you.

I know; it sounds harsh.

But before digging deeper into the matter to see what happens, you have to rule out this hypothesis.

A quick way I recommend is with the help of a background checker like this (click on the link to go to their website).

Enter your boyfriend’s details, and the tool will give you a comprehensive insight into his social media profiles and eventual presence on online dating sites.

He might not cheat you, but you must rule it out for sure before committing to a longer-term relationship.

Simply enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out.

Now, assuming that he isn’t cheating, let’s see some of the most common reasons why he might have stopped talking to you and what you can do about it - and whether you should be worried.

SHOULD YOU BE WORRIED?

Even though I hate to say it, you should be worried if your boyfriend isn’t talking to you. This is true for a number of different reasons.

For one, you are in a relationship. He should want to talk to you and spend time with you. If he’s not doing this, he may not care about you or the relationship anymore.

You also might be concerned about the reasons he isn’t talking to you anymore. He might just need a break, but it could be something more serious. He might be hiding something from you, unfortunately.

It’s totally normal to be worried about your boyfriend’s lack of communication. It’s good that you noticed it and that you’re ready to take action.

You need to be aware of how worried you are about this. You don’t want to be too worried that you can’t think of anything else, but you do need to figure out what’s going on in the relationship.

Allow your concern to help you resolve the problems at hand and improve your relationship.

Communication is one of the most important pieces of a relationship. If the communication isn’t working, there will likely be other issues in the relationship. Watch this video to learn more about communication:

THINK ABOUT THE TIMING

Some girls get upset if their boyfriend doesn’t reply to their text within a few minutes. If this is your definition of your boyfriend not talking to you, you don’t really need to be concerned. He’s probably busy and doesn’t have time to text all day long.

It’s natural to want to talk to your boyfriend all the time, but you should understand that he has school and/or work to take care of. He might be taking a break from his phone to spend time with his family.

If your boyfriend seems to be genuinely ignoring you, there are bigger issues here. Evaluate how long he ignores you for and how often it is.

Your boyfriend may not reply for days at a time. This is a sign that something else is going on. This can be especially concerning if he usually responds quickly and suddenly stops.

Something serious might have happened in his family too. If you know that his parents are going through a divorce, your boyfriend might be dealing with that and might not feel like talking.

SHOULD YOU TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND?

You should absolutely attempt to talk to your boyfriend about this lack of communication. One major issue is that he won’t even talk to you. You don’t have very many options for contacting him, which makes things tricky.

If you can find a way to reach your boyfriend, you need to let him know how this is making you feel.

It’s totally unnecessary to give him the silent treatment in return. That move will put both of you in an even worse position. It might create conflict out of something minor too.

Though you should avoid texting your boyfriend non-stop, you should try reaching out to him and letting him know how you feel. For example, you could send him a text and explain that you really need to talk to him about this and that you are worried about him.

The key is to send him very few texts. If you send him too many, he will get annoyed and may ignore you for even longer.

WHY MIGHT HE NOT BE TALKING TO YOU?

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Keep in mind that each person is different and has their own personal reasons for their actions. Your boyfriend may be ignoring you for one of the following reasons or for something completely different.

One possibility is that he is dealing with some personal issues. Maybe he got into a major fight with a friend. He might be experiencing some mental health challenges. School or work could be very busy and overwhelming.

He might also have some family difficulties. This might mean that he’s fighting with his parents. There could have been a death in the family.

Another possibility is that he’s mad at you. Did the two of you have an argument? Did you say something harsh to him?

There are lots of other reasons that your boyfriend might not be talking to you. You should consider these possibilities, but be aware that your boyfriend may have an entirely different situation going on.

HOW CAN YOU GET HIM TO TALK TO YOU?

If your boyfriend isn’t talking to you, it can be impossible to work things out. Even if you decide you just want to break up with him because of this, you still may not have a way to communicate that to him.

This can easily put you in a tricky place. If you’re trying to get your boyfriend to talk to you, you have a few options.

First, try giving him some space. Maybe he needs some time to think things over. Something could have happened personally that doesn’t affect you. He might be dealing with something private that he doesn’t want to talk about for some reason.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Second, stop texting him and calling him. I know you want to talk to him, but these phone calls are just going to upset him and might push him away from you.

Third, send him a text explaining why you need to talk to him. Now, I know I just said to stop texting him. This option here is more of a last resort. If you’ve given him a few days and he still won’t talk to you, you might want to text him and let him know you need to talk to him.

IS THIS A COMMON OCCURRENCE?

You should think about how often your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you. If this keeps happening, you should notice that he doesn’t have the best communication skills.

Though you shouldn’t set unrealistic expectations for your boyfriend, he should at least reply to you and talk to you. This doesn’t mean he needs to reply instantly every time you text him. This doesn’t mean you have to talk on the phone every night before bed.

If he continually goes through phases of ignoring you, there are bigger issues. You will have to spend some time working through these with him.

Maybe your boyfriend only stops talking to you every once in a while. He might have legitimate reasons for this. If he’s had a busy week, he may not always reply.

Simply evaluate how often this happens. If it’s happening too often, it definitely needs to be talked about and resolved.

If you are trying to improve your communication with your boyfriend, you should watch this video:

SHOULD YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM?

I don’t usually like suggesting a breakup. The problem is that so many people give up on relationships without even trying. Some people will get into one fight with their partner, call things off, and move on. This isn’t a great idea. Relationships require effort.

This doesn’t mean that there is no place for a breakup. There are definitely times when breakups are necessary. One of these situations is when there is a major lack of communication.

If you’re the only one who is trying to talk in the relationship, it may not be worth it to stick around. If you’ve tried everything to get your boyfriend to talk to you, you might want to move on.

Clearly, you should try to make the relationship work, if possible. Just realize that a breakup is a totally legitimate possibility, especially if your boyfriend won’t talk to you at all.

A relationship simply cannot work without your communication. If your boyfriend won’t even talk to you, this is even worse.

Unfortunately, in this case, you may need to break up with him. His lack of communication shows that he doesn’t care. Plus, it’s making you upset and just isn’t healthy.

FAQs

What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Doesn't Talk To You?

If your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you then he may be angry or upset about something that you said to him. However if you haven’t had an argument and your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you then you may be experiencing communication issues. It is important to make sure that you try and sort out these issues before they get any worse.

What To Do If My BF Doesn't Want To Talk To Me?

If your boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to you because of something you said to upset or annoy him, or you had an argument that made him not want to talk to you, then maybe you just need to give him time to calm down. However, if he doesn’t want to talk to you about important things at all then have a serious conversation with him.

What Happens When Couples Don't Communicate?

Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you can’t communicate with your partner about issues or doubts that you are having you are likely not going to be able to solve any relationship issues that you are having and these things are going to turn into bigger issues that you eventually will be unable to solve.

What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Doesn't Call Or Text You?

If your boyfriend doesn’t call or text you when you are apart but you spend most of your time together then you likely don’t have anything to worry about. However, if you hardly see your boyfriend and he still doesn’t text or call you then you are likely experiencing communication issues in your relationship.

What A Man's Silence Means?

A man’s silence either means he is annoyed or upset at you about something. If you have had an argument and he is not talking to you then he may just need some time to figure his thoughts out. However, if you haven’t had an argument and he is just not talking to you, then you may be experiencing serious communication issues with your boyfriend.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

CONCLUSION

If your boyfriend isn’t talking to you, you should be worried. Fortunately, there are ways to resolve the problem.

  • Be sure to give your boyfriend some space.
  • ​It’s okay to try to get ahold of him, but don’t send too many texts.
  • ​Consider what family or personal issues your boyfriend might be dealing with.
  • ​As a last resort, you may have to break up with your boyfriend due to a lack of communication.

​Feel free to comment down below if you have any questions for us! We would be happy to answer them and help you out.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

7 comments on “My Boyfriend Doesn't Talk To Me: Should I Be Worried?”

  1. Thank you for your help , I kinda knew he would do this , in the beginning of our relationship he was incarcerated and i knew once he got out things would change and he would pay less atention to me, and I was correct, he tell me he he loves me but won’t be as consistent as in the beginning and to make matters worst , we are in a long distance relationship , we’ve never met and I’m suppose to meet up with him in January , I feel confused as to how I should proceed with this relationship

  2. My BF and I started out as friends, we met through my ex who was his friend. In the beginning it was rough because he had a fling with my friend and we were both worried that our respective friends would hate us for wanting to be together. I told my friend and she was ok with it, thing were awkward at times but she knows I love him and I really want to be with him. About 3 months after we got together, my BF said he didn't have the nerve to tell my ex, his friend, about us, so he broke up with me. About a month and a half later he said he told my ex about us and that he was ok with it and asked if we could get back together. I really missed him so I said yes. We were doing well, and I ended up flying to Cali to see my family for the holidays and when I came back after the new year my BF told me he loved me for the first time. I was really excited and I said it back, but since then I feel like things have changed. We don't constantly text or have to spend multiple days a week together, but it feels like he isn't interested in me anymore. After he said he loves me he was loving and really physical for about a week and now he just doesn't talk to me. In a week I might have a conversation over text for about 15min and then he doesn't talk to me for a few days. I haven't spent time with him in 2 weeks and everytime I try to set up a time he cancels on me or just doesn't respond to my texts. It's worrying me. I gave him a second chance and now I feel like I annoy him or like he just doesn't love me like he said. I don't bug him regularly, I send him funny videos or memes, nothing that needs an immediate response, but it will be 2 days before he even responds to my texts. A simple oh that's funny or an emoji will do. And just taking maybe one day a week to spend some time together would be nice. I'm not saying I need a whole day, an hour or 2 would be enough, but it doesn't seem like he wants to see me anymore. I know that he has other things going on, but even if he doesn't have time he doesn't say that. I'm getting worried, my thoughts go from him being annoyed with me to the possibility of him cheating on me. I dont know what to do. I really want to talk to him about his lack of communication, but I can't even get in contact with him long enough to bring it up.
    Everything here was good advice, I just have to figure out how to talk to him.

  3. My boyfriend and I are long distance and its been on and off communication. The first two days were amazing then we just talked and it was meaningless text messages and I thought he was mad. I finally confronted him and he apologized and said hed work on it. It kept happen in to the point where I'd just give up text him a k. And go to bed but I'd cry myself to sleep and wake up really sad. We started getting closer again and it was great wed stay up till 1-2 am just talking and I was like he only thing he cared about but then he would just stop again. Slowly he started to just get irritated and that was his excuse for why he wasn't talking. I didnt wanna pry but I was getting worried, everytime hed answer the phone it sounded like he hated me and I was close to tears. So I talk to him and it switches again. Then he tells me he loves me and we talk straight for like 3 days and then bam same old same old. I ask him for help now he's to irritated. We are on the phone but he's distracted and doesnt really pay any mind to me. He knows its hurting me because I let him know but I then just get a i love you and its supposed to fix everything. I needed his help with something tonight but I kept trying to cheer him up but it was absolutely useless. I just felt utterly useless. I asked him what was wrong and he just goes 'I'm irritated' and doesnt respond with anything else. He just seems over me and I just broke down into silent tears. I don't know if he heard me sniffling but he comes back tells me he has to go and he'll call me when he's done. I meakly respond with okays and he just tells me he loves me then hangs up and I break down. I don't know what to do. He makes me so happy when hes happy but so sad when hes sad. I love him and I hate seeing him upset but he doesnt let me in to help. What do I do here??

    1. It’s simple to ignore on there end. I know how you feel. I’m in a LDR and it comes to points back and forth we’re Im debating with myself. I think I’m the one whose done something wrong, I’m the one to blame, I’m the one who should apologize, I’m the one who should try first. I keep debating this feeling and the more I do it the more I feel insecure. I can see when he reads my messages and when I wanna talk on the phone it doesn’t happen. Each day it keeps getting harder and then I think if I’m truly happy doing this. Even when I’ve mentioned it before , he doesn’t seem to grasp my response and how I feel. It’s almost 4 years in this situation and I don’t know what I’m truly doing. Where should I go ? Should I continue? Is this healthy for me?

  4. I don't know what to do my boyfriend did'nt talk to me now even he did'nt call me when i told him that y you are not talking to me he said that i am not well i am depressed but i think he talk to some another girl and want to move on frm my side what should i do but i can't leave him i love him very much i cant live without him

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