HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more.

Married Husband Texting Female Friend Or Another Woman (What To Do)

by Olivia Surtees

Is your husband texting a female friend? 

Are you suspicious of their intentions? 

If so, you’re in the right place, because this guide offers advice on how to deal with the situation.

Here is the most important thing to know…

Your apprehension is unlikely to disappear until you get the truth about what’s going on. 

What’s more, there’s no point making any accusations until you have evidence of wrongdoing. 

This will only serve to cause an argument which you can’t win, because you have no proof to back up what you’re saying. 

That’s why I wanted to recommend this handy online background checker

This discreet tool provides an extensive report on your partner’s communications history. 

You’ll learn who he has been frequently communicating, what apps he has downloaded and what contact details he has been using. 

Put simply, this tool will make it immediately obvious if your partner is up to no good.   

With this information to hand, you’ll be better equipped to address your partner using the advice below.

1. They are simply friends.

You have to understand that even though you are married, the two of you should still have individual lives and your friends. Your husband could just be texting his friend and he won’t think it’s a problem, because they are just friends, he won’t see her as ‘another woman’. I’m sure you also text your friends quite a lot and don’t think anything of it, regardless of their gender? So, there is a strong possibility he is just keeping in touch with one of his friends, and he isn’t doing anything wrong. If you have been together for a while, then you will probably be well accustomed to his friends and will have met them before.

An issue will arise if he is speaking to this female friend a lot. Like I have said, it’s pretty normal for us all to text our friends regularly, some people even speak to their friends daily. However, if he is texting with her more than he is texting with you, this could be a little bit of a red flag. Why does he need to speak to her constantly? People that are just friends don’t need to do that.

You might also be worried if he isn’t being honest about speaking with her. If he is just speaking to one of his friends, then you might question why he is being so secretive about it. It is completely valid for you to feel concerned if he is lying about speaking to her because if he just saw their relationship as platonic, he would be honest.

2. He has to speak to another woman because of work.

Work can also take over our personal lives, especially if your husband has a high up position, needs to be on call all the time or has his own business. One of the people that he might need to be in touch with at work could be a woman. This could mean that he has to speak to another woman constantly, but he isn’t doing anything wrong. He might also not have a choice about being in touch with this woman, at the end of the day it’s his job and he has to do what he needs to do. If nothing is going on between them, then he won’t hide their communication from you. He will also probably understand when his work life is crossing over into his personal life with you and will manage it properly.

There is no problem with this, as long as the relationship between him and the other woman stays strictly business. Unfortunately, if it does turn into something more it might be difficult for you to find out, especially if he has a work cell phone. But once again, if he isn’t being honest about his contact with her, then it could be suspicious. She’s just a work colleague so why is he hiding their texts?

3. A woman is constantly trying to text him.

Your husband might just be responding to a woman that is constantly texting him. He could be completely innocent in the act of speaking to another woman. Even if she is trying to pursue him, he might not realize. Men don’t normally have the intuition to clock on to things like this, and he might just think that this woman is being friendly or needs his advice.

He might hide these texts from you if he is worried that you will think something is going on, but normally in this kind of situation, your husband will be open with you because he thinks nothing of it. Of course, as women, we understand other women and we can tell when someone is coming on to our partners. However, your partner isn’t really to blame in this kind of situation, unless he reciprocates the tone of her texts.

4. He is having an emotional or sexual affair.

Of course, this is the last thing you want to hear, but it might just be true.

If your husband is spending a lot longer on his phone than usual, it could be because another woman is occupying his mind and his time. This could be happening with a friend who has transitioned into more than just that, or he could have met someone new. Whatever the circumstances, he will spend a lot more time texting now he is interested in someone else. The difficult thing to comprehend in this situation is that he could be having an emotional affair without even realizing he is doing it.

A lot of the time, we only think of cheating as physical and sexual activity, but it is so much more than that. An emotional affair can hurt more than if your husband went and had a one-night stand because the difference is that his emotions are well and truly involved with someone else. He feels things for this other woman and tells her things he doesn’t tell you. This is a really painful thing to come to terms with.

There are many ways that you can check to see if it’s true that your husband is having an emotional or sexual affair with someone but, to be honest with you, you will be able to feel it in your gut.

Some of the other ways you might be able to tell that your husband is having an affair in relation to texting are:

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

  • He is overly protective of his phone.
  • He deletes all traces of calls or texts from his phone.
  • He answers calls away from you or declines incoming calls when you are around.
  • He hides to spend time on his phone.

None of these signs would be true if he was just speaking to a female friend, because he would have nothing to hide.

What should you do when your husband is speaking to another woman?

What you should do really depends on which of the situations you think your husband is in from the ones I have mentioned above. Therefore, I urge you to really think about the specific situation you find him in and then act accordingly to it. We will look later on at how to act concerning specific situations, but the first thing you should do, which is essential to whatever situation you are in, is to talk to him. Communication is such a crucial part of a marriage, and it can really make or break it.

Communicate with him. 

As women, we sometimes presume that men are the same as us in many ways, but they are not. They are not going to read our minds or understand the situation until we spell it out for them. Also, women can be quick to jump to conclusions, especially when it comes to the men in our lives and their unfaithfulness. This is especially true if you have been cheated on before or have had difficult relationships in the past.

When you do choose to talk to your husband about what’s going on, you need to make sure that you confront him in a way that is not aggressive. Make sure you don’t lay any blame on him or accuse him. No one reacts positively or honestly when they have already been accused of something without the opportunity to defend themselves.

If you have any problems with another woman and your man speaking to each other, you can simply tell him how it makes you feel. He might not have even realized it was affecting you, and he might stop texting her as much.

If you suspect that he is cheating on you and he isn’t being honest, you might need to put more effort into soothing him into being open with you. People only tell the truth when they feel comfortable, so make him feel comfortable and speak to him from the heart.

At the end of the day, if you are in a marriage that you can’t communicate in, there is something wrong already.

What should you do when your husband is texting his female friend?

Firstly, if they are simply just friends then he will probably open with you about them speaking with each other. Friends are really important, and you need to let him know that you understand that. Your friends are also his friends, so you should say that you understand him wanting to speak to her.

However, if you feel like he is texting her too often, you could ask him how he would feel if you were speaking to one of your male friends more than you spoke to him. The answer will probably be that he wouldn’t be happy about it, and then he might realize your point of view. You need to make sure you aren’t coming across controlling, so make sure you tell him how much you admire his friendship and appreciate that you are in a relationship with a caring and loving man.

If you suspect that something is going on between them, you could always suggest the three of you meeting up in person to see if they act strangely around each other or you feel any energy between them in person.

What should you do if he has to speak to another woman because of work?

There isn’t really much you can do about this one, because it’s his job. However, you could simply ask him to try and balance his personal home life better with his work life. If his work makes you feel like a second-class citizen to him, tell him that. He might not have realized that texting or calling constantly to his work colleague was affecting you that much.

If you suspect something is going on between them that is more than strictly business, why not drop into the office and see if you notice that they are particularly close or doing something they shouldn’t be.

What should you do if a woman is constantly trying to text him?

The only thing you need to do here is to make him recognize what’s going on and what she wants from him. As I said earlier, he might not have realized what she was really trying to get at. I’m sure pointing out the fact that she is trying to come onto him will make him shut it down straight away.

What should you do if he is having an emotional or sexual affair?

This is completely up to you. I’m sorry if you wanted a more definitive answer, but when it comes to cheating, it always depends where your boundaries lie. Perhaps you will be able to work on your marriage and move on, or you will have to leave him. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you find proof that he is having an affair before you confront him.

Conclusion

I sincerely hope that this article will have helped you figure out why your husband is texting another woman and what action you should take in relation to it.

Did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Olivia Surtees
After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession – writing. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships entices me, and I am constantly striving to learn more, so I can then help others with more knowledge and experience.

7 comments on “Married Husband Texting Female Friend Or Another Woman (What To Do)”

  1. He thinks his dating sites and the friend that I have never met that he texts and calls regularly are no big deal. He is ripping my heart out and keeping my stomach in severe knots. I am sick and hurt just torn to shreds. He knows how I feel but he is still doing it. He deletes everything immensely. I am devastated. I feel helpless and hopeless. What should I do? We have been married for over 20 years.

    1. I don't have an answer for you. I'm in the same situation, it's been going on for three years. He hides his phone, won't let me answer it and I don't know how much money has. Married 47 years, and he is an alcoholic....well, tomorrow I will be packing his stuff and take it over to the woman he is texting.

  2. It is not healthy for married man texting another women all the time. It is bizarre and it will create problems in the marriage sooner or later. This is a red flag.

    1. I agree with your comment totally !!
      I’m dealing with it right now.I’m finding she knows a little too much that goes on with my husband & I everyday lives. My husband has put a six digit password on he cell phone! Which is odd, because I don’t know the the password word numbers. He knows mine because it very simple. Also, he puts his phone on silent at night & keeps it in another room & I have noticed he’s been guarded with his phone.
      I confronted him about him talking to her too much . I got told that well .. you have your girls friends & he’s says that they are old friends that reconnected and that all he has to talk to & be friends with !! Yea right ...
      She came over to our house today to give him some oranges 🍊 off one of there trees & Go a weird feeling. I’m going to be keeping a very close ey on his cell phone & Im even going to ask to see it. We’ll see what happens !! Maybe a divorce is my very near future.

  3. I found some emails they shared I had them enlarged in a poster. I showed him and told him that no longer could he deny that they were having an emotional affair. This is after we have been married 30 years. They were engaged before US. He sure could not deny written proof. I am not sure if I can get over this. But found strength in proving my gut instinct was correct all along. He blamed it on drinking. Which has been a problem since we have been together. So how do I heal myself when he is having issues. I used to be a strong person. I just feel weak now.

Leave a Reply to Heartbroken Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

footer logo Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected