Does your husband constantly lie?
Are you wondering why he does this and what it could mean for your relationship?
Perhaps you’re wondering if you can trust him?
If so, read on. This guide offers some valuable advice to how to deal with this situation.
However, before we dive into the meat of this advice, I want to tell you about this incredible online tool I discovered.
With just a few of your partner’s details, this tool can offer up a huge database of their communications history.
You’ll discover what online services he’s signed up to, who he’s been frequently contacting and what contact details he’s registered, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Put simply, if he’s been cheating on you or engaging in other dishonest behaviour, this tool is likely to make it immediately clear.
The guide below will offer some more detailed tips for dealing with a liar.
We also address what you can do when you having a lying husband and how to tell if your spouse is lying in the first place.
Table of Contents
Lying can do a number of corrosive things to a marriage or a relationship. Here we look at a few of the biggest issues that it can cause and what the result of that may be.
Without a shadow of a doubt, the biggest issue that lying can do to a marriage is cause a huge amount of distrust. One of the main things that people look for in a partner is honesty and when that person lies, it can make trusting them hard - if not impossible.
Trust and being honest is perhaps the most important things that a relationship needs to stand the test of time. Being secretive and hiding things from one another will only cause pain in the long run and make a marriage far more hard work than it need to be.
It can be so stressful when you are married to someone who consistently lies to you. Their dishonesty can make you question your partner all the time and wonder whether they are telling the truth or going behind your back to hide things again.
Stress can therefore make it difficult for you to relax and enjoy the good parts about your relationship and the best bits of your partner. As a result, lying can be a hugely debilitating thing to occur in a relationship and can stop it from having any real future.
One of the most negative feelings a wife and a husband can have towards each other is resentment. If your partner is forever lying to you, then it can cause a huge amount of animosity from the hurt that it can cause. When boundaries are crossed, or perhaps a partner is caught cheating on the other, it can be difficult to even know if you love that person anymore as you are so hurt by their reckless behavior.
It can get to the point that the lies just breed bitterness and antagonism between the two of you so that other problems just become bigger and bigger. Sometimes, if those problems get too big, it can be difficult to stay together.
So why do people lie in relationships? And why does your husband lie to you about even the little things like what he watched on TV last night, or even what he got up to at work that day? It will vary from partner to partner, but there are often a number of common and sometimes alarming reasons why your partner will lie to you from time to time - if not all the time.
Your partner may have the best intentions at heart when he lies to you about the little stuff. He may feel that by not telling you the truth, then he is actually sparing your feelings in the long run. He may also not feel the need to share the truth with you about any manner of issues going on in his life.
Men, on the whole, tend to not want to fight with their other halves. As such, they can often be caught lying as they likely did not tell the truth in the first place as it was easier simply to have lied. For example, if he said he was at work as opposed to the truth - that he was having a boys' night out, he probably did not want to kick up a fuss.
This could be because you would have immediately assumed that a boys' night meant flirting with other women. In situations like this, he probably just lied not to make a big deal out of something that he did not think was an issue.
A natural extension of a man’s propensity to lie for an easier life, you may find that your husband does not tell the truth as he simply does not want to cause an argument. The example of a boys' night is pertinent in situations where your husband may be worried that you will get angry with what he is really doing. He may feel that keeping the truth a secret, he is simply saving your relationship a fight.
Sadly, men will often lie to a partner when they do not respect their other half. The reason that he does not tell you the truth is that he simply does not feel the need to give you the common courtesy of knowing the full picture. This can be really tough to deal with when you are in a relationship with someone that you love. But it does say a lot about the chances it has of lasting. If he doesn't respect you now, he never will.
It may sound extreme, but a lying husband can be a clear sign that he does not see the relationship lasting. He is probably lying to you because he doesn't see a future with you as his partner and he hasn't got the energy to tell you the truth that may upset you or cause you pain. His hiding the truth can also be a sign that he has lost respect for you and that is why he is thinking about breaking up.
Perhaps the key thing to do when you have a husband who is continually lying to you is to up the lines of communication with him and get him talking to you about your worries. In the best circumstances, he will hopefully be completely unaware of the hurt he is causing you and hopefully by hearing what you have to say, he will simply stop therefore and then.
In reality, this won't be so immediate in most relationships. Firstly, it may have become a bad habit of his to lie to you and so he will find it hard to stop doing. Secondly, his lies will have hurt you in a number of ways that you will need to talk through to build up the trust and respect again your relationship.
However, without telling how his actions are making you feel, then there is no chance of your relationship ever being the partnership that you will have wanted it to be. You need to talk to your husband about your worries as quickly as possible - even if it is over very small white lies, but particularly so if you are worried that his is having an affair.
The longer the lies go on, the more damage and harm they may cause.
There are a couple of ways that you can tell if your other half is lying and it is a good idea to keep an eye out for them - especially if you are trying to save your relationship. For starters, he will probably get his details mixed up when talking to you and may well be very vague about points that you question him on. In fact, he will probably get down right defensive if he is lying to you and you are trying to ascertain if he has told you the truth.
Another key way of seeing if your spouse is lying and not telling the truth is that he won't look you in the eye when he is talking to you. They say that body language is actually the biggest conveyer of meaning and this is particularly true if someonee is lying to you. So look out for downcast eyes and if your husband's hands are in his pockets. Hands that are fidgety are also a key indicator of lying and not being able to keep feet still is another.
When your partner lies and keeps the truth from you, and you find out it can be very hurtful and very hard to recover from. This is understandably the case for if he has cheated on you or you think that his lies could mean that he might cheat on you and have an affair.
This is why it is so important to tackle dishonesty in a relationship head on so that any pain that they may cause a partner is minimised in future.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a perpetual liar? And have you ever had a partner that you felt may cheat on you as a result? Leave your comments and thoughts below as we would be happy to help you with other articles and features that we think could provide you with useful information.