Just because you love your other half more than anything, it sadly does not necessarily follow that your marriage is going to last. If you are unfortunately in the position where you have to tell your friends that ‘my husband left me and I still love him' then you can also be questioning whether you can fight for your relationship and if there is anything that you can do.
Here in this article we look at what you should do if your husband has left you and how to move on when your husband leaves you. It can an be hard to figure out what to do when husband leaves family behind but we look at proactive ways to tackle such a problem. We also discuss what you should do if your other half wants a divorce and whether husbands ever come back after a divorce.
- 1 My Husband Left Me, What Do I Do?
- 2 My Husband Left Me For Another Woman, What Do I Do?
- 3 Do Husbands Come Back After Divorce?
- 4 What Should I Do If My Husband Wants A Divorce?
My Husband Left Me, What Do I Do?
It can be an incredibly destabilising time when your other half up and leaves you – especially if you were not expecting it and it felt like a slap in the face. There are a number of things that you can do to ensure that your emotional well being is taken care of so that you do not slip into a bad place mentally.
Spend Time With Your Friends
A great way to tackle the absence of your partner is to spend far more time with your friends than you did before. This can mean going out for drinks with the girls or making plans to go to the cinema, or going more regularly to exercise classes with mates that you have not seen recently.
By seeing friendly faces, you will be constantly reminded that you are a good person and that your other half has left you for reasons that you can bounce back from in time.
Be Kind To Yourself
It can be so easy when your relationship breaks down to blame yourself and start to think negatively about things all the time. However, be kind to yourself and remember that there were two people in the relationship and its break down is not down to just one person.
Every time that you feel like you are going to slip down in the dumps and beat yourself up about what you could have done differently, try to remember that you are good person and that relationships are hard. They don't always pan out how we would have wanted them too.
Try To Fight For Your Marriage
It could be the case that your other half has left you, but that does not mean that you do not fight for your marriage or your family. Ask your ex directly if there is anything that you could do that would make a difference and whether he would reconsider staying if you addressed them.
Fighting for a marriage is a very hard thing to do, but if you find yourself thinking ‘I still love my husband', you won't regret trying to fight for one another. However, if you want it to work, be prepared to hear some home truths that you may not like. Your ex will have walked away for reasons that may be hard for you to hear so ask yourself whether you are ready for that.
If you still want him back, then accept that you will have to make some changes to your life to make things work again and start a new chapter.
Think About The Kids
If your marriage is beyond repair, then if you have kids, the first thing you should do is think about them and how it will affect them and their life. When two parents split up, it can be very stressful for children of all ages and so you need to think about how you and your ex are going to deal with the situation first, before telling them.
By discussing how you will cope as a family first, before telling your children, you will hopefully minimise their distress and ensure that they know you are there to support them in any way possible. It can also be a good idea to ask other responsible adults in their life to be around as the person that they can go to if they need someone to talk to.
My Husband Left Me For Another Woman, What Do I Do?
Of all the reasons a partnership breaks down, infidelity is perhaps one of the hardest – particularly if it seemingly came out of nowhere. If your other half has met someone else, you will not only be dealing with the break down of a relationship but also the horrible feeling of rejection that comes from being replaced by someone else.
It is a good idea to do the following things so that the difficult time that follows an affair, is as easy as it can possibly be.
Concentrate On Any Children
If you had children whilst you were married, it is a good idea to concentrate on them if your ex has left you for another woman. Not only does this address the issues that are mentioned above, but it also gives you as the spurned wife something to channel your nervous energy into.
By focusing your thoughts on your children, you will not only be protecting them and their life, you will also be making as smooth a transition as possible while you become a new type of family. Plus, children tend to bring the best out of people and make them focus on the future which can be a very healthy mind set for a wife that has just been made aware of her other half's affair.
Talk To Someone
Getting over an infidelity is one of the most difficult things to do in life. The feelings of hurt can slip into depression if you are not careful so it is a good idea to talk to someone as soon as possible after you have been made aware of what has been going on behind your back.
Talking with a counsellor can really help you look at life in a different way and address problems or crises of confidence that can transpire after an infidelity. Plus they can help you learn to trust again which is a huge issue for anyone that has been cheated on in the past.
It's important to stay busy after your ex has gone off with another woman. It can help you to remain positive about life and your future as well as reminding you that you do not need a man to be happy.
There are lots of ways that you can stay busy and it is important to find the one that is right for you so that you do not waste your energy unnecessarily – which can then lead you into low states of mental strength. Instead, decide whether you will be helped by throwing yourself into your family, career or physical health. Or perhaps there is some sort of community project on that you help with or simply start up a new hobby.
It is time to put your family and yourself first so that you stay strong and positive. Staying busy is a good way of doing that.
Do Husbands Come Back After Divorce?
When marriages end in divorce, it can be natural sometimes to wonder if the relationship really is over. It is very often the case that one partner will want the other one back, but does it actually ever happen?
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On occasion, couples do get back together after taking time apart – either after a divorce or a trial separation. However, it is important when this does happen that issues that caused the break up in the first place are addressed and resolved so the same problems do not rear their ugly heads time and time again.
For this reason, it can be extremely beneficial for a couple trying again to go to counselling to work through past issues. If you find you still have resentment because your ex broke up with you, or if your ex had an affair, then going to a counsellor will help you look into them and move on from them so your relationship can start new.
Importantly, whether you see a counsellor to help you or not, you absolutely must forgive each other for everything that transpired before the break up. Without doing so, you will not be able to move on like you would want and your relationship could be doomed before it has even be rekindled again.
What Should I Do If My Husband Wants A Divorce?
It can be hard to decide what to do if your partner wants a divorce as you probably have so many emotions running through your mind you do not know where to start. Here are a few ideas of what you can do following the news that your partner wants to walk away.
Talk To Him
Before doing anything drastic, try talking to your partner to see whether you can figure out another way forward before starting legal proceedings. You may find that you both see where the problems have started in your relationship and that you both could do something to address them.
In fact, you could find out some things that are surprising to you that you were not aware of and that you could change. You'll never know though if you do not talk to him first.
Try Working Through Your Issues
Once you have spoken to him, try to emphasise to him that you would like to work through the issues he has highlighted and that you are still willing to give the relationship a shot – if, of course, you would like to change or resolve what he has indicated and the deal breakers for him.
Also ensure that you tell him where you think your relationship has been going wrong recently and what it is that you could both do together to make things work again. It is necessary for you both to buy in to the idea that you can work through your issues so that your partnership gets back on track.
See If You Can Change Anything In Your Behavior
One of the ways that you will be able to get your partnership back on track is to realise that you will most likely have to change your behavior in some way so that your relationship will work again. This can be tough to do as often your actions won't have been malicious or calculated. However, it is still necessary to address them for the sake of your relationship.
Get A Lawyer
It is sad but true that the only real winners in a divorce are the lawyers. However, if your other half looks like he will not rethink and divorce is the only way forward for you, then you will definitely need a lawyer. They will give you the best legal advice possible so that you get what you want and need when your partnership is formally dissolved so you can start a new life.
Let Him Go Or Fight For Our Relationship? – The Bottom Line
Fighting for a relationship can be hard work. Neither one of you will be sure whether fighting for what you have will actually transpire into the relationship working again, but it can at least give you peace of mind to try. However, sometimes, it is best in the long term to simply walk away from a relationship that has run its course. The difficulty is in figuring out what is best for you and your other half. The two of you will need to work together to come to the right conclusion.
Are you in a marriage that looks set for divorce? Do you want to fight for your relationship or let your other half go? Leave your thoughts in the comments below and share this article with anyone who is going through similar problems in their partnerships.
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