Is your husband always hurting your feelings?
Does it feel like he doesn’t care about you?
Maybe you get the impression he’d rather spend less time with you?
If so, read on. The guide below explains the best way to deal with this situation.
However, before we dive into this advice, it’s important you read the next few sentences carefully.
I want to tell you about a little-known aspect of male psychology, which has a huge impact on how men perceive their romantic partners.
This primal instinct called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ appears to be held by most men - and it can have a huge impact on the way they treat you.
When this psychological trigger is activated, it can release deep feelings of power, strength and purpose inside a man. Naturally, they become more affectionate and devoted towards women who help them feel this way.
Before I discovered the ‘Hero’s Instinct’, I was stuck in a lot of relationships with men who didn’t seem to care about me. Now, it’s a lot easier for me to find loving and passionate relationships (read my personal story to learn more)
It’s easy to activate this way of thinking inside a man, once you know how. Yet, so few people seem to know about it.
This is my #1 tip for adding more love and affection in your existing relationship. Click here to learn how to do it.
Then, read on for additional tips about dealing with a partner who hurts your feelings.
Table of Contents
If you fear that your husband doesn't care about your feelings, then you have probably been finding that things in your relationship have not been addressing your needs. You may feel like things are totally hopeless and want to feel happy and in love again. It can be hard sometimes to figure out when you are depressed, what it can mean when it seems your husband doesn't care about y our feelings.
Here we look at a number of things it can mean when your husband has been making you feel he doesn't love or care about you or your marriage anymore. Some of the reasons may be pretty hard reading at times as they may make you accept some ideas that you have been trying to bury at the back of your mind. However, the sooner you start addressing these issues, the sooner you can get back to feeling happy again.
Sadly, when your husband's behaviour seems to betray a man who no longer cares about your feelings, then he may well mean he's ready to move on and wants to leave you. This is hard to admit as you both will have invested a lot of time, if not years, into your relationship only to see it fail.
Sometimes though, even if it doesn't seem it at the time, moving on from the relationship can be the best thing for you both. If the two of you agree that you are no longer making each other happy and you no longer will have a happy life together, at least you are giving each other the opportunity to be happy outside of your married life.
Often, however, in a marriage, there is always one person that wants to keep talking and working out issues. That is, of course, for you to decide. It is possible to work out issues in a marriage and sometimes it isn't. Whatever you try though, remember that right now your husband is continually hurting your feelings and that is not ok.
A very frustrating and hurtful reason for your husband to keep hurting your feelings is that he is a selfish human being. It could well be that he has always been selfish its just that when you first started dating and falling in love, you did not know his true colours. Often, we do not always see all aspects of our loved one's character when we are first in thrall with them.
This is totally natural and very normal. The problem is now - his behavior is now hurting your feelings and that is not acceptable behavior. It upsets you and causes you stress.
So what can you do about a man or husband that is selfish and doesn't think about you as his first priority. Well, you can either highlight to him his certain actions that have been prime examples of when he has hurt your feelings. Talk to him about how and why his actions hurt you so that he can at least try to address the problems that you have raised with him.
It is after you have had this conversation that you can then make a decision about what you would like to do in future. It could well be that after you call him out on his selfishness, that he stops acting in such a self involved manner and start putting you first.
However, it may be the case that even after you have told him about how his behaviour is upsetting and hurtful, that he doesn't change his behavior at all. If that is what happens in your relationship and marriage, you want to then take stock of the situation and decide whether you have a future together or not.
As with selfish behavior, sometimes when we first fall in love with someone we don't always notice their negative points. It can be, however, that if you are with a man that hurts your feelings, he is guilty of being a person that doesn't respect the woman that he is with.
This may be down to out of date notions of what the relationship between genders should be, or it may be that he has a big ego and doesn't ever consider that his opinion is wrong. The result of this is that he always thinks that your opinion is wrong as a result.
When one of you does not respect the other, it can bring an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship where neither of you see eye to eye with one another. It can get to the stage where anything that you do, if you are the one where your partner does not respect you, is wrong and incorrect.
In situations similar to this, you need to know that your opinion and wants are just as valid as his. Talk to him about how his actions are causing you pain and how he may do things in future to help. It is important to let him know how you are feeling so he can take action to change his behavior - if he wants to.
It may also be the case that you talk to him about his behavior and disrespect of your opinions, and he does not change at all. When that happens, it may be that you have to make some touch decisions about your future together. The reason being is that if a man does not respect you and your opinions, you could also be setting yourself up for a subservient type of life and one where you will never be happy.
As previously alluded to, if your husband does not care about your feelings, it can mean that your partnership has an unhealthy imbalance in it. It can mean that he has all the power and simply takes you for granted. If you fear that this is the case with the both of you, a good idea and action can be to stop giving into his every demand to make him happy.
In doing so, you may actually be making things worse for you both. By giving into him all the time, you can be supporting and encouraging his actions where he doesn't think about your and your feelings.
Readdressing the balance in a relationship is a difficult thing to do, but it is crucial to ensure that your needs are met within your partnership.
Knowing what to do when your boyfriend doesn't care anymore, or if you feel you husband doesn't care about hurting your feelings, can be a tricky thing to decide upon. There are so many options available to you, but the suitable ones will depend on your husband's personality - and yours.
This is probably not what you may want to hear, but if you feel like your husband doesn't care about you and you don't feel like you have any other resort, you can always leave him. This is a huge step to take and can also mean there is no going back or possibility that your relationship can get back on track, but if you feel you don't have any other option, it may be something that you need to do.
Leaving your husband is an emotionally difficult time, but also the practicalities that surround it are hard too. Lawyers need to be involved for a divorce to go through as well as the fact that you may need to find somewhere new to live - or your husband does.
A good way to survive mentally if you feel your husband doesn't care about you is simply to stay busy. For some, this can mean focussing on the children in your marriage or by zeroing in on your career or job to keep your mind off the fact that your husband doesn't seem to care about you any more.
When we are in a relationship where our partners don't care about us and our lives, it can be very easy to slip into a way of life where you believe you are not worthwhile and not desirable. This is quite simply not the case and never will be.
To ensure that you do not end up in a pit of self loathing and hatred, take the time to focus on yourself and your life. Mull over about what you want in the future and how you would like your future to be. This can mean taking the time to improve your health and fitness, or even reassess your job and career trajectory.
Whatever you do, you need to find pride in something and be proud to be you.
This is an incredibly hard thing to think about doing and may not be at all what you imagine could help, but increasing the amount of sex and intimacy you and your husband have, can help you both fall in love again. As a consequence your husband will soon be caring about your feelings again.
The reason this can help is that sex is one of the ways that partners can show each other they care in a way that they can't with anyone else. The physical closeness helps increase the emotional closeness of two people in a relationship.
Emotional abandonment can be a tough thing to admit has happened to your marriage, but if you have ever thought 'my husband doesn't talk to me about anything' or 'my husband hurts my feelings and doesn't care', then it could well be that this is the status of your relationship.
This is because emotional abandonment is when someone in the marriage or relationship shuts the other out totally. So if you feel your husband no longer talks to you or shares things with you, it could well be that he has started checking out of the relationship causing the emotional abandonment.
It can be a hard situation to come out of with your relationship in tact because when someone shuts down all lines of communication between the two of you, it is hard to make any progress forward to a happier, more congenial space. Whilst it is possible, it relies on both people doing something about it and starting to talk to each other.
Additionally, they must increase the amount of time they spend together so that balance is brought back to the pairing. This time together can take the form of many different options, but you both need to be invested to making it as constructive and positive as possible. You will both need to take action to make things right again.
Consider ways therefore that are going to help your increased time in each other's company as positive as it can be. It can make a big difference to a couple if they find a hobby to start together or by going to dinner or the cinema on a regular basis. Even though it may be tough at first, the increased time will make you both start to know what is going on in each other's lives again, and if you are starting a new hobby together, it gives you a new common ground that can be what a marriage with emotional abandonment within it can need.
The important thing about working through emotional abandonment is start to respect each other again so that you start to fall in love all over again. When things get tough in a marriage, we often start to pick fights with one another and put a lot of blame on our partners. Emotional abandonment happens as people want to stop the pain of the constant bickering or arguing.
If you respect each other again, the arguments should hopefully ease off and be more constructive when they do occur.
An easy way to tell and know whether your husband hates you is if he is constantly snapping at something you do - or even everything you do. It can leave you with the feeling of confusion as this is probably very different to how he acted when you were first in love or dating. Ask yourself honestly if your actions warranted or justified his snapping at you and listen carefully to what he says too.
If you respond to his snapping at you with anger, you may make the situation worse and not better. Take the time to think about what he has said and how you can approach similar situations differently, or simply tell him your reasons why you behaved like you did. By no means should you justify what you do all the time, but if you highlight to him you act as you do for good reason, a sensible partner or spouse will understand that.
One of the saddest things about a relationship where you fear your husband or partner hates you is when your other half never seems happy to see you. This may be for a whole host of reasons, and could well be because your husband doesn't have the sunniest of dispositions, but if your husband never even cracks a smile when you walk in a room, it could be the sign of something going wrong within your marriage.
Things like looking at you when you come home after a day's working or going to give you a kiss when you walk in the front door are all very positive signs that love is still present in a marriage. When husbands always seem to have too much on their mind to even look up when you enter a room, it may be a signal of bad blood having entered your marriage.
Another sign that may also mean that your husband is no longer in love with you is when he spends more time with his friends than with you. He may not be aware he is doing this and if that is the case then you probably do not need to worry too much about the state of your relationship. However, women are usually quite quick to point out when their husbands are spending too much time with their friends as opposed to with their wife, children or family.
Bearing that in mind, if your husband still spends too much time with his guy pals, then you may need to readdress the balance in your relationship. This is particularly true if you have kids and it is always you that ends up looking after them as he is always out.
One of the nicest things about being in a marriage or relationship is when you are with someone for life who likes to spoil you on special occasions. However, if your husband or boyfriend never ever remembers your birthday or anniversaries, it could be a sign that he doesn't love you anymore. This is especially true if he once used to take the time out to spoil you and now does not.
It means he does know when your anniversaries are, he is just choosing not to acknowledge them. This doesn't mean that if he doesn't buy you a gift he hates you, it just means that if he simply does not even wish you a happy birthday verbally or say happy anniversary, that his behaviour does not come from a position of love.
It may be that your husband puts you down in front of other people if he hates you. This can be a particularly cruel occurrence to happen in your life and it can make you end up feeling like a very small and insignificant person, but have confidence in yourself and realise that if your husband is acting like that, it is often a sign of his own insecurities. So if you find that he is constantly belittling you over the smallest thing, then you may have to admit that the love has gone from your marriage on his side.
Noticing the signs your husband has the ability to hurt your feelings and also doesn't care about doing so can be a tough admission to make. The reason being is that it means some difficult times are ahead for you personally and also for your relationship. You should always try to address the situation by talking to your husband in the first instance, but it may be that opening up the lines of communication don't make the slightest bit of difference.
This can be incredibly difficult for you, and understandably so. When the one you love doesn't address their behavior so that you are happy, it may mean that you have to leave him or at least admit that your partnership will never be what you had wanted it to be. It may even mean that you end up spending more and more time apart in what becomes a loveless marriage.
This is sadly quite common - particularly when children involved - even in a an age where divorce is accepted and a totally normal thing to do. People still don't take the route of divorce because they just don't want a failed marriage behind them or may even stay together for financial reasons or, as previously mentioned, as they have children together.
When something similar happens in your marriage, you have to find other ways to find happiness in your life so that you do not slip into a depressed state as a result of your relationship not living up to what you thought it would be. It may be that you find a new hobby and new friends to concentrate on. You may focus on your job and your career. You may travel and see the world.
Whatever you do, remember that just because your spouse doesn't care about your feelings, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't care about your feelings and your happiness as a result.
If you feel like you are in a loveless marriage or with a husband that does not care about how you feel and upsets you a lot, leave your story and comments below. We would love to hear them and our readers take a great deal of comfort in hearing about people in similar situations and circumstances. Leave your name, email and any other details so that we can contact you with similar articles if you would think them helpful.
Plus, share this article to any friends and family that may benefit from reading this article which explores things they are going through. Often, it is so helpful knowing that you are not alone and others have survived the same troubles.