Are you hoping to make a lasting impression on a new love interest in the bedroom?
Or maybe you’re searching for inspiration to freshen up your sex life with a long-term partner?
Either way, you’re in the right place. This ultimate guide to pleasing a man in bed has 35 ideas that’ll drive him wild with desire.
However, before you act upon this advice, it’s important to read the following sentences very carefully.
I want to tell you about an important part of male psychology that most women aren’t aware of - and this has nothing to do with how you treat him in the bedroom.
This basic primal instinct is called the ‘Hero Instinct’.
All men seem to react well when it’s triggered, and it can make all huge difference to your romantic relationships.
In fact, it can be the difference between from him being attracted and becoming OBSESSED with you (read my personal story to learn how I discovered this)
When you understand this way of thinking, it can make more of an impact than any saucy sex moves.
Once I learned how to activate the Hero’s Instinct, my relationships became a lot more passionate and loving. If you want to learn this too, click to read my backstory.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t also want to become amazing in bed! Great sex is a win for both of you. So, let’s crack on with my list of 35 incredible sex tips.
Please your man in bed with attitude because a woman who knows what she wants can be a very sexy woman indeed. I have a friend called Sandra, we met at school. She has learnt that when she and her boyfriend are in bed together, he loves it when she shows a sexy attitude towards him. He knows that they share a special bond because he trusts her when she shows her sexy side to him. It's nice that she can relax and be sexy for him because she feels safe and confident in his company. They are a really strong couple; Sandra says it is because they give each other the confidence to be themselves in the bedroom. Having the right attitude is a very powerful personality trait to have and he will love this powerful attitude that you show.
Please your man in bed with kissing him whenever and wherever you are. When you are out and about, make sure you keep giving him loads of kisses so he knows you find him attractive and you can't keep your hands off him. Any kind of closeness is a good thing and the more you find yourselves kissing will give you both the contact you crave for. Being closer together through kissing will give you both the ultimate aim of being closer together in the bedroom. It will please your man immensely to know that the kissing will continue when you are in bed together. Kissing is the one great pleasure a couple can share together on a daily basis. It is the one thing that you can do in private or public that will be such a great turn on for you both.
Please your man in bed with your sexy presence and he will truly enjoy the experience of being in bed with you. I have a friend called Thelma, she's 34 years old. She used to be quiet and shy and would never have dreamed of acting sexily. She used to think that she couldn't act sexily because her upbringing had been quite strict and sex was never discussed in the home. Then she met Peter and he was able to offer her the encouragement she needed to feel more sexy. Thelma says it is never to late to tap into your inner sexiness so that you too can bring your sexy side to the forefront when you are in the bedroom.
Please your man in bed by making him feel desirable because feeling desired will give him a brilliant feeling of wellbeing. He will feel wonderfully happy and content, the atmosphere in the bedroom will be supercharged with passion. He will feel that you give him a lot of love and affection because you find him so desirable. By him having the knowledge that he is desirable to you will give him the boost he needs to be able to make love to you in a loving and sensual way. You will both benefit from your experience in bed together because you will have created a very intimate partnership. Make him feel desirable by telling him how handsome he is, or how strong his muscles look. Make him feel desirable by telling him what a good kisser he is.
Please your man in bed by dressing nice, let the sex happen naturally because the nice things you're wearing will be a turn on for your man. I have a friend called Carol, we've been friends for several years. She has been married to Ken for eight years. Carol says she truly believes that what you wear to bed should be something that is silk or satin to the touch. She reckons that her husband is always complimentary to her about the choice of sexy nightwear she chooses to put on. She says by dressing nice it gives her a feeling of being sexy and it pleases her husband that she makes the effort to look nice for him in the bedroom.
Please your man in bed by not being a prude. Be open to all the excitement that you can have by being more adventurous. Maybe your man wants you to try something different and you are not sure if it will be right for you. Let him know how you feel and explain that you are feeling unsure of yourself because you haven't done this particular thing before. He will be happy that you have confided in him and he will love helping you discover a new pleasure that you both can share together. As time goes by you will grow closer together and trust in each other's company with full understanding of what it is that turns you both on.
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Please your man in bed by teasing him with your sexiness. I have a friend called Wendy, she is a hairdresser and she works in the local village salon. She is a minefield of information because she listens to her customers’ tales whilst she is doing their hair. One of the tips she heard from one of her customers has helped her greatly in the bedroom. That tip was to tease. Teasing your man in the bedroom will bring out in him an animal passion that even he didn't know he had. Let him know you want him by teasing him and Wendy guarantees that he will want you forever more. She says that by teasing him you are letting him know you want to play sexy games, and knowing that you want to play sexy games will be very exciting for him.
Please your man in bed by not being shy and see what a difference it makes to you own self worth. It's ok to feel shy at certain times because maybe you don't know what you are doing. Try you're best to overcome the shyness and you will feel much more self assured, which in turn will give you the opportunity to express yourself in a more positive way. By not being shy you will portray a sexy confident woman in the bedroom. It will please your man to see that you can overcome your shyness in his company. It will allow both of you to move forward in the relationship in a loving and trusting manner. You will both have a little chuckle together In years to come when you look back at how shy you were, it will seem hard to believe that you could have felt like that at one time because you've gotten to know each other intimately over the years and nothing will make you feel that shy again.
Please your man in bed by being creative, creativeness will add an extra dimension to your relationship. I have a friend called Denise, she is a really fun person and is always laughing. Her tip for you for pleasing your man in bed is to be creative. She would like you to start being creative by reading some books or by going on line to see what you think you might like to try. She adds that it should be something you feel comfortable with, otherwise you won't enjoy it, and if you don't enjoy it... neither will he. When you are ready to go ahead with your creativeness in the bedroom she's sure your man will be very appreciative of your attempts to try and please him.
Please your man in bed with communication because without communication you will never know what he’s thinking or feeling. Even worse is that he won't know what your thinking or feeling. If you don't know what each other is thinking or feeling you won't know if things are going well in your relationship. Communicating to each other what your wants and needs are is a great way to have a secure partnership. You will trust in each other to know that if one of you is not feeling right with something you will let the other person know. Likewise if one of you particularly likes something you will be able to let the other person know.
Please your man in bed with fun and your happiness will be complete. I have a friend called Jenny, she's a full time housewife with two children and nothing seems to get her down, she's a very happy go lucky type of person and is content with her partner. Her advice for you is don't stress out about all the things you should be doing, instead have fun with all the things you are doing and you will enjoy them even more. She says you shouldn't listen to what everybody else is doing in the bedroom, you should just enjoy the things that make you and your partner happy instead. Having fun in the bedroom will relax you and you love making will flow along naturally.
Please your man in bed by being naughty in the bedroom (or by talking dirty to him) and watch his eyes widen In amazement when you show him a part of your personality that he never knew you had. Being naughty in the bedroom with your man is an entirely individual thing. You will come to learn what it is that turns you on the most. In a loving partnership you should be able to tell one another what particular naughty role play appealed to you the most. Once you are successful at being naughty in the bedroom, you can enjoy lots of romantic encounters with your partner. You will get that glint in your eye which lets him know you want him. He will recognise the look and be turned on instantly just by knowing what is to come later on in the bedroom.
Please your man in bed by mixing things up and he will never be bored. I have a friend called Leslie, she is 29 years old and she likes to go to the cinema with her boyfriend. She's got a vivid imagination and she reckons her and her boyfriend have a great time in bed together. They are always trying new things in the bedroom and she says she thinks this is why their relationship is so strong. Her advice to you is to try mixing things up in the bedroom so that your man is always on his toes, waiting for you to create another exciting encounter with him. Make it Impossible for him to be bored in the bedroom and enjoy a strong relationship just like she does.
Please your man in bed by taking control and he will forever be in your gratitude. Somewhere along the journey of life there seems to be an unwritten rule that the man is the one who should take control in the bedroom. This is definitely not true. In fact there are a lot of men who really enjoy it when their partners take control. They can really enjoy the pleasure of sex when it is not them who has to initiate the moment all of the time. They will love the fact that you are confident enough to take control and will enjoy all that you have to offer them. It might seem a bit daunting at first to be the one taking control in the bedroom but the more you do it the more you will get used to it and the more natural it will become.
Please your man in bed with new tricks and enjoy the praise you will receive each and every day for keeping your man entertained. Adding a new dimension to your bedroom escapades will give you the opportunity to express yourself in an entirely individual way. Enjoy each other's company a lot more by talking about what new tricks you will get up to together. You will find that you will be giving one another secret looks that mean something very special is going to happen when you are in the bedroom together later. Only the two of you will understand what is to come and this knowledge will give you a powerful and trusting bond.
Please your man in bed with praise and his confidence will grow. I have a friend called Beverley, she is incredibly beautiful and thankfully she's also modest. Her advice to you is to praise your man in the bedroom because if you don't he will lose his prowess. Beverley is used to being praised by her man because of her good looks, she also knows that it gives her confidence to know she looks good. She is mindful of the fact that her man also needs praise. When she gives her man praise in the bedroom she knows it will benefit them both because he will be much more settled in the knowledge that what he's doing is the right thing for her. Praise him on his sexual prowess and tell him what you think he's really good at, he will respond by wanting to improve his technique even more.
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Please your man in bed by taking the initiative because you know it's what he wants. He won't ask you to take the initiative because he won't want you to feel pressured. But deep down he would love it if you would take the initiative. Taking the initiative will show him that you want sex which means he hasn't got to second guess what mood you are in. Taking the initiative will show him that you care for him and want him to enjoy himself. Taking the initiative will show him that you have got a mind of your own and he will love you for this. Your relationship will feel like it's on an equal footing and you will both know where you stand with each other. When one of you suggests in the future something new to try you will both respond with gusto knowing or guessing who is going to take the initiative.
Please your man in bed with a massage and you will both enjoy the sensation. I have a friend called Barbara, she goes on lots of holidays with her husband. Whenever her and her husband go on holiday he always heads straight to the spa because he really enjoys a nice massage. Barbara's advice to you is give your man a massage. Barbara gives her husband a massage because she knows how much he likes them. She says if you are not sure how to give a massage, go to a spa and have a massage yourself, that way you will know what to do and also you will know how lovely it feels. Over time you will find out which areas are particularly sensitive to him, it is knowing about these intimacies about your man that will cement your relationship together for a very long time.
Please your man in bed by being spontaneous and your spontaneity will make him feel special. It's really nice when moments in the bedroom happen spontaneously, it's great that you feel relaxed in his company and can react to the sensations you are feeling. He will love it that you can respond to him in a way that tells him he is being a considerate lover. If what you are experiencing feels right you will respond spontaneously to his touch and this will give him confidence in the bedroom. If he is confident in the bedroom you will both enjoy the lovemaking a lot more.
Please your man in bed by slowing down and revel in the warmth that your lovemaking brings. I have a friend called Gemma, she was single for several years before she met Matt. Because she'd been single for a while before she met Matt she thought that she should go all out in the bedroom to please him, she admits she quite often approached sex as though it was a race. When she was settled in the relationship and trusted Matt she stopped racing along in the bedroom with poor Matt on tow. Her advice to you is slow down, you don't have to race to the finish line to enjoy the togetherness that lovemaking brings.
Please your man in bed by being romantic and you will enjoy a dream partnership. Being romantic is a lovely way to show your man how much you care about him. He will know that you don't just see him as a partner but as a lover as well. You make him feel like a special human being. A lovely romantic gesture you can try is to put roses on the pillows, this conjures up a very special image of romance indeed. It turns an ordinary bedroom into a romantic haven, somewhere you would expect to find in a posh hotel. The look in your eyes will tell him at a glance that you've thought of everything that will give him the wonderful experience that is yet to come. The anticipation will be a very powerful emotion for both of you.
Please your man in bed by being sensual because sensuality creates an atmosphere all of its own in the bedroom. I have a friend called Patricia, she is a girly girl and loves everything that sparkles and glitters. Her advice to you is that whilst sensuality can enhance things sexually, it can also enhance your relationship in other ways as well. Patricia says feeding each other strawberries dipped in chocolate can be a very sensual thing to try, she also however says that being sensual in your everyday life and enjoying the world around you, is a sure fire way to enhance the sensuality you will both feel in the bedroom whenever you are in each other's arms.
Please your man in bed by being feminine and your femininity will capture his heart forever. Being feminine is loving every inch of your body. Your body is what makes you female. Don't dismiss your curves, your curves are feminine, they make you the woman you are, they make you the woman he first felt attracted to. Your man will be happy for you that you are happy in your own skin. He will respect you for embracing your figure and being yourself rather than what somebody else expects you to be. Being graceful and having good manners will also enhance your femininity. Your man will be proud to be seen with you and he will love the fact that when you are alone together in the bedroom he's the one that will be enjoying all of your feminine charms.
Please your man in bed by being confident and together you will reach the stars. I have a friend called Alison, she knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. Her advice for you is to know that clothes matter, you absolutely will not feel confident in the bedroom when you are wearing an old tattered nightgown with a washed out pair of knickers on underneath. In fact you will positively cringe inside if he reaches over for you because you definitely won't want him to see what you've got on. Alison wants you to know that being confident in the bedroom will come naturally the more you practice. Alison's motto is ‘practice makes perfect’, and make sure you treat yourself to some lovely new lingerie.
Please your man in bed by being happy and the relationship you're in will be greatly cherished. Everybody wants to be happy, especially your man. When you are happy it makes it easier for him to be happy. Any stresses you both may have felt in the day will be quickly banished when you are in bed together enjoying each other's company. It's nice to have an upbeat relationship where you can both feed off the other person’s happiness. Happiness is like an infection, it's catching. So when you are happy in bed with him, he will catch the infection from you and he will be happy too.
Please your man in bed by being honest and there will never be any doubt in his mind that what you are saying and doing is totally truthful. Your man will want reassurance from you that what he is doing is right for you, if it is then tell him so. If on the other hand what he is doing isn't right for you then you really must tell him. You might feel that you are being critical of him, you are not, you are being incredibly helpful. Your relationship will not work without honesty. You cannot move forward when you are lying to him. You will be doing yourself no favours if you don't let him know what it is that you like or dislike. In the long run he will appreciate your honesty and the trust that comes with it.
Please your man in bed by being playful because he will enjoy the fun side of your nature. I have a friend called Janet, she is 52 years old and she is still as playful in the bedroom with her partner as she was when they first met in 1992. Her advice for you is to do what she does and be playful in the bedroom. Dressing up is one way to be playful. Acting out roles is another way to be playful. Playing strip poker is another way to be playful. Whatever it is that you decide to do to be playful in the bedroom, make sure you are comfortable doing it. It won't please either of you if you are not comfortable with what you are doing.
Please your man in bed by not being selfish and he will admire the thought and concern you show for him. By not being selfish you will be able to share your moments in the bedroom together with better understanding of each other's needs and wants. He will be able to let you know what he wants without fear of reprisal. He will know that you want to please him and this knowledge will give him the confidence to talk to you about all the things that matter to him. Your relationship will be all the better for listening and understanding each other. By not being selfish, you will be showing him that you recognise the relationship as an equal partnership and there will be no discord between you.
Please your man in bed by being well groomed, not only will he appreciate your efforts, your love life will be vastly improved too. I have a friend called Zoe, She is always immaculately dressed and she has been married to David for 28 years. For the whole entire time I have known Zoe, she has always been well groomed. I know her husband David very much admires her. Zoe's advice for you is to let you know that being well groomed is the starting point to pleasing your man in the bedroom. She says that David's admiration for her is a step toward the bedroom door before they've even swapped pleasantries over the dinner table. The reason for this she says is that he is attracted to her because of the care she takes in getting herself ready for him.
Please your man in bed by setting the scene, and you will both enjoy being in the zone when you enter the bedroom together. You can set the scene way before it comes to the time when you go to bed. You can set the scene by building up to the grand finale by having dinner out at a nearby restaurant, or you could go to the cinema and watch a romantic movie, knowing what is coming later all adds to the build up of anticipation. When it comes to the bedroom itself you can have the lights turned down low, you can have new satin sheets to climb into, you can have your favourite album playing in the background. All of these things will set the scene beautifully.
Please your man in bed by showing devotion, and your life together will be a loving one. I have a friend called Kate, she has and always will be devoted to her husband Mike. They share a very special kind of devotion and it is a joy for everybody to witness. Her advice for you is to let you know that life is too short to not let one another know how much they are loved. She wants you to do everything you can to make your man happy. Life is too precious to let time slip by without letting your man know how much he is loved. She says you will reap the rewards of this devotion because over time your man will return that devotion back to you.
Please your man in bed with mystery and let him solve the puzzle. Don't reveal everything about yourself in one go. Save somethings about yourself that will be revealed as time goes by. When you are in bed with him and feeling close, its nice to have pillow talk, a time when you can both nestle into each others arms and plan your dreams together. It would be lovely if you could reveal a part of yourself that would fascinate him. A part of you that would make him look at you in a whole different way, his response that he never thought you could do anything as daring or as adventurous as that, would be lovely for you to hear. A piece of the puzzle regarding you would have been solved. All of your revelations will be be very interesting to him and as each part of you is unfolded it will bring you so much closer together.
Please your man in bed by relaxing and your time together will flow with a natural vibe. I have a friend called Helen, she is so laid back that nothing seems to phase her. What we would think of as a crisis she would think of as a minor hiccup. Her advice for you is to let things move along at their own pace. Don't try to force a situation just because it's what you want. Your man will relax and be himself when you too are relaxed. She says he won't like it if you are constantly acting stressed. When you are in bed together just let things take their natural course, relax and enjoy the closeness you can share together.
Please your man in bed with encouragement and let his confidence grow. Maybe you've just met or maybe you've been a couple for several years, however long you've been together doesn't come into it when it comes to giving your man encouragement. He will want to know he's doing everything right for you, especially in the bedroom. Keep giving him the encouragement he needs and you will see him gain in confidence every time you are together. He will know that you care for him because you are always helping and praising him.
Please your man in bed with passion because without passion you can't have a meaningful and loving relationship. Passion is what lights up your day, it's what makes you walk through life with a spring in your step. It's a lovely feeling when you can look into each other's eyes and see the passion reflected back. A million words could not be said, that would mean as much as that one passionate glance toward each other. You will both know in an instant that the passion you both share is there all the time when you look into each other's eyes.
I hope that gave you some inspiration. For more inspiration check out our other dating tips for women here.
You can surprise your man in bed in many ways. However a hugely romantic thing to do for your man is to run a bath, light some candles, buy some nice wine and chocolates and give each other massages. Your man will likely not expect the amount of effort you have put into this little date so he will probably fall in love with you even more for it.
A man can get better in bed however it will take time. It is important to communicate with your man exactly what makes you happy in bed so make sure that you have an open conversation with your man about what you want. This is the key to having a strong physical and emotional conversation with your man.
You can physically excite a man by being affectionate with him, giving him a massage or wearing some new underwear. Try planning a romantic evening with your man by lighting a few candles and running a bath for you to share. This is a great way to physically excite a man.
It is important to talk to your guy about exactly what he likes. Open communication is so important in any relationship. Have an honest conversation with your guy about this and find out what makes him happy. Communication is important to build a strong physical and emotional bond in any relationship.
This depends on every guy so have an open conversation about what he is comfortable with and what makes him happy. Open communication will help you solve most relationship issues so be sure to talk to him if you are unsure about anything.
Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.
A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!
The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…
That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.
In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.
I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.
After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.
I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.
Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.
I can’t thank them enough.