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How To Get Your Boyfriend To Kiss You (15 Sneaky Ways)

Last updated on June 18, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

The first kiss with a new boyfriend isn’t always this out of the blue thing that catches you totally off guard. Unlike in the movies, it takes more than attraction for some boys to do what they want to do anyway, like kissing their girlfriend. Sometimes, you have to take matters into your own hands to set the wheels in motion.

So, you’ve been dating this one for a minute, and labels aside, you can tell this guy is as into you as you are into him. Yet, for some reason, he’s still reluctant to make a move. Maybe he isn’t as sure of your chemistry as you are, or he’s generally a shy person or just isn’t confident in his kissing skills.

All the same, if you need a little help getting your man to kiss you, you’ve come to the right place. With the following tips and a dash of good acting, you’ll be canoodling with your guy in no time.

15 Ways To Get Your Guy To Kiss You

1. Primp the dish. Make your lips inviting

I know you are eager to get to the main event, but getting your lips ready for the kiss is as paramount as every other tip on this list. It’s likely not the case that they’ve been in bad shape the whole time you’ve spent together, but if they can be better, why not make them?

After your regular oral hygiene routine, go the extra mile by exfoliating (gently) to get your lips plump and ready, then moisturize with a lip balm to retain the texture. If you’re going with a beat face, skip the super-bright lipstick and the really glossy lip gloss. You want to make him want to kiss you, not give him a reason to avoid your lips.

2. Invite him over/out

Here comes the easy part. Ask him to hang out. Depending on your situation, the location can be your place or somewhere else, just wherever you can get to be alone together at some point. Unless, of course, you don’t mind doing it in front of people, which I wouldn’t recommend with a shy guy, especially if it’s your first kiss.

Wherever you decide, make sure to pick a spot where you can make contact with him when the time comes. The opposite end of the table or couch isn’t exactly kissing distance now, is it?

3. Keep an open body language and act naturally

keep an open body language and act naturally

Make conversation, laugh at his jokes, play video games, or whatever you two do when you hang out. The last thing you want is for him to notice you’re up to something and make things unnecessarily awkward. So, look right at him when you talk like you’ve done multiple times before, and smile.

The idea is to get him to relax, so if you act like you usually do with him, that might allay any suspicions inviting him over may or may not have aroused. Even if your heart is doing 1000 beats per minute, try not to look nervous, or he’ll know something’s up.

4. Flirt with your eyes

Your eyes are one of your best ammo in a game of seduction, but flirting with them can easily go sideways, so you might want to take it slow. Make eye contact with your guy and smile again (coyly this time) just before you break it.

If you can manage to bat your eyelashes while at it without making it weird, go for it. If not, just look down slowly to break the gaze. Give it some time, and then try it again, with your lips and eyes in sync. He’ll probably smile right back, and his eyes may start to linger too. These are all signs that he wants to kiss you, even if he doesn’t do it right away.

5. Slightly brush against him now and again

In between the eye congress, if you can sense a budding tension already, up the ante by introducing body parts south of your face. Do you have to use the bathroom? Graze against him lightly as you get up. While you try to sit back, let your thigh brush him ever so slightly. 

Just keep the touches to the generally unsuspecting areas, for now, going for places like the lips might make it obvious that you want to kiss him. Unless you plan to go in for the kiss right then and there, stick to the buildup and watch for his reaction.

Odds are he's looking for an in to do the exact same thing you're planning, but if he seems offended by the light touches, you should probably pull back.

6. Touch his fingers and let yours linger

If the contacts don’t make him tense up, you can let your hands stray some more as you carry on your conversation. Reach out and play with his fingers while you talk like you’re just looking for something to do with your hands. 

If you need to pass him something (like the salt), let your fingers linger a bit before letting go. You can also try holding hands if you’re taking a walk. Don’t forget to work in some eye contact while you’re at it, it’s what makes the emotions sink in.

7. Find an excuse to lean closer subtly

If you’re seated next to each other, you can lean on and rest your head on his shoulders. I know it takes your lips out of focus, but it’s still an intimate move, and you can make it even more so by holding hands or something.

If you are alone, you can cuddle up to him, he's your boyfriend, so it shouldn't be weird. This fosters the type of atmosphere you want to have your first kiss in. When you are all cosy and warm in each other’s arms, your (combined) instincts should take it from there. 

8. Do the classic stare trick

do the classic stare trick

If he hasn’t given you any reason to think he might be against kissing you so far, it might be time to pull out the big guns. I only call this trick that because it’s a little more overt than what we’ve been doing so far, but it gets the job done more often than not. 

How does it work? Get him talking about something that makes his eyes sparkle, then zero in on his lips as he goes on about it. Then, naturally shift your eyes back to his and hold his gaze for a moment. Don’t distract his senses by moving your head around too much, just let the sparks fly. If he was planning to kiss you at some point before you part ways, this green lights it. 

9. Make him come to you

Pretend to almost trip if you're dramatic, so you can give him that doe-eyed stare mortal men can't resist as he leans down to help you up. Add to that the old stare trick, and you're bound to get your kiss. 

But if you're aiming for a little less drama, you can act like you're cold. Hopefully, his hero instinct kicks in, and he offers his jacket or, better yet, his arm. This is another way to bring him closer to you, give the OK that he can touch you, and best of all, see your lips from an enticing close angle. 

10. Give him a long, warm hug

Is your date drawing to a close already and still no kiss? Fret not, a lot can still happen before he leaves. When it’s time to say your goodbyes, hug him like a reluctant girlfriend, warm and tight and just, don’t let go.  

Hopefully, he’ll be wearing a nice enough perfume for you to want to bury your face deeper in his neck naturally. Let your slow, warm breath cascade him as you pull away without breaking contact altogether. With your hands on his shoulder or waist, and your eyes continuing their shy ministration on his, you just might get more than a kiss. 

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11. Adjust the lock of hair above his ear

Another way to make the best of your goodbyes is to try a different angle to the whole hug thing. When you pull away, with one hand still on his waist or shoulder, use your other one to tuck a stray strand behind his ear tenderly. If you can manage to hold his gaze while you are it, that would be great.

You can also try the classic trick above – look intently at his lips before going back to his eyes – and drive it home with a coquettish smile. He should get what you’re trying to do at this point, even if he’s a total noob.

12. Whisper in his ears softly

If coy smiles and (almost) batting your eyelashes don’t get you your kiss, try going mental. Not literally, of course, just a little play on his mind to give him ideas. Just as the previous point was an excuse to stimulate his ear (ahem ero-zone) if you can come up with something not-so-direct to say at the moment, it can be another.

Since you are still working your way to what’s probably going to be your first kiss, you don’t need anything over the top kinky yet. You can just whisper something like, “do you have to go right now?” or “I had such a great time.” then let your lips brush his ear as you slowly move away.

13.Win the kiss fair and square. Play a game

For the last shot at being indirect, you can invite your boyfriend to play a couple of games like twenty questions for truth or dare with you. Suggest a bunch of rewards and punishments for winning, and of course, make kissing part of the former. If he loses, he does something he usually wouldn’t agree to, and if he wins, he kisses you, and vice-versa.

Are the rules rigged a little bit in your favour? Absolutely. But if we know anything about guys, it’s that the majority wouldn’t mind this one bit. However the game goes, it’s unlikely that you’ll come out of it without gaining something.

14.Tell him to kiss you/ask if you can kiss him

So, you’ve set the scene, laughed and flirted, but the baby boy still won’t take the hint, huh? How about you throw caution in the wind and just come out with it? Having said that, there is a system to even being direct, so you don’t come off too strong and intimidate him.

Like with the whisper thing, you can tell him you want to kiss him instead of pleasantries. Or while you’re talking, lean in close as if to respond and, with your attention moving between his eyes and mouth, say, ‘can I kiss you?’ You can always get creative with the words, just remember the delivery matters just as much.

15. Hint by doing - go in for the kiss

hint by doing - go in for the kiss

Lastly, you can just kiss your boyfriend. Unless he’s a super finicky person who absolutely abhors surprises, I’m pretty sure this will make a pleasant one for him. It’s the ultimate way to get a guy to kiss you, especially one you are already in a relationship with.

If you are too shy to just plant one right on his lips, ease into it and the next intimate moment that presents itself. Or do it mid-conversation, then smile and sit back like you didn’t just stop his whole world for a few seconds.


How do you get your boyfriend to kiss you without asking?

Try to make your lips kissable by exfoliating and moisturizing them regularly. Do things that make your boyfriend think about kissing you, like flirting with your eyes, slowly applying lip balm, and smiling coyly while you interact. 

What does it mean when your boyfriend doesn’t kiss you?

Guys sometimes hold back on kissing a girl if they know she is out of their league, or they don’t think they are a good enough kisser to match up to her yet. Your boyfriend not kissing you could be because he’s waiting for you to make the first move, or he needs more time to get that comfortable with you.

Where do boys like to be kissed?

It depends on the boy in question, but generally, guys love being kissed at intimate spots like the nape of their neck, lower abs, inner thighs, collarbone dip, and wrist. Although a lot of them will settle for being kissed on the lips, and anywhere else just fine.

How can I get my boyfriend to kiss me better?

Know what you want and be confident. Don’t automatically get turned off if your boyfriend does something wrong, instead, pull back gently and lead the kiss this time. Tell him afterwards what he can do better, and when he gets it right, let him know too.

Where to kiss a guy to get him turned on?

If a guy is into you, even a kiss on the hair can turn him on. But if you prefer, the small of his neck, back of his ear and knee, belly button, lower abs, inner thighs, nipples, spine, feet and around the pubes are erogenous zones.

In Summary

Most guys aren’t so clueless, especially when it comes to physical stuff like kissing a girl. If your boyfriend wants to kiss you, you won’t even have to go through half of these tips to get there. So if you exhaust them all and still nothing, it might be time to call it and consider the possibility that he just doesn’t want to kiss you. 

But hey, glass half full, now that you have the know-how, his loss might be someone else’s gain! Have another tried and true way to get a smooch out of a guy? Hit me with them in the comments and share the post if you enjoyed it.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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