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Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore (11 Things To Do Right Away)

by Sonya Schwartz

Relationships get complicated sometimes.

What seemed like a never-ending story yesterday might be completely gone by tomorrow.

People fall in and out of love all the time.

Perhaps it happens to you right now.

To cry alone in the night, thinking my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore.  

Maybe you’re asking yourself questions like:

Why doesn’t he love me anymore?

Is our relationship worth fighting for?

What should I do now?

You might still be deeply in love and ready to fix this relationship at all costs.

But let me tell you something.

Maybe he doesn’t love you anymore because he’s fallen in love with someone else.

Things like this happen all the time.

I truly hope it’s not your case, but you have to rule it out; otherwise, reading what to do if he doesn’t love you anymore could be worthless.

I know this feels like a cold shower, but it’s better to cut the evil from the root.

I always recommend using a background checker like this for this (click on the link to go to their site).

Simply enter his details to see if he’s been using any online dating sites lately and who are his newest friends on Facebook. In this way, you can see if he added any new girls – and potential new girlfriends – recently.

Hopefully, that’s not the case, but it is important to know before fighting for a lost love.

Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out.

Now that I assume you have ruled out the presence of another girl in his life let’s see what you should do if he doesn’t love you anymore.

Talk to Your Boyfriend

One of the best things to do if you’re having issues with your boyfriend is to communicate with him. Talk to him about your feelings and try to find out more about the situation.

You might want to ask him about when he realized he doesn’t love you anymore or why he thinks this might have happened. Be prepared for some questions to be answered with “I don’t know”. He may not have any idea why he doesn’t love you anymore.

As you talk to him, try to avoid raising your voice. This doesn’t need to turn into a full blown argument. You simply need to discuss these feelings and work them out as a team.

You may need to have several conversations to talk about everything that you want to. This isn’t always a quick and easy talk to have.

If your boyfriend doesn’t feel like talking about the issue, it may not be worth the conversation at all. If you manage to get any information from him, it may be vague or he may get upset with you.

You know your boyfriend best so pay attention to his body language and his responses.

Evaluate Your Feelings

It’s likely that you’re experiencing a variety of strong feelings. It’s necessary to be aware of these and to find a healthy way to process them. We’ll get into processing them later, but let’s focus on evaluating your feelings.

First, you should determine what feelings you’re experiencing. This might be several different feelings. You may not even be able to determine what these emotions are, which is totally okay.

Next, you should try to figure out why you’re feeling these emotions. Obviously, they stemmed from your boyfriend telling you he doesn’t love you. What part of that is causing these feelings?

You might be sad because you feel like the relationship is ending. You might be mad that he didn’t talk to you about this when his love started fading. This will take some time, but you will be able to better handle your emotions if you understand them.

Once you have evaluated your emotions to an extent, you should try to monitor them. Do they get better or worse when you talk to your boyfriend? What has triggered you to feel more sadness?

Being aware of your emotions is a helpful tool for healing.

Figure Out If It’s Worth Trying to Make Things Work


Your boyfriend just told you he doesn’t love you anymore. This is hard to process, but it needs to be figured out.

Based on your feelings and what you and your boyfriend decide, you have a couple of options.

Your first option is to try to make the relationship work. This might take some effort. You will have to make some changes to increase the love you have for each other.

Another option is to break up. This is obviously not the best choice and it’s probably not what you want to do. In some cases, it’s necessary.

You should know that there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong answer here. It really depends on your personal situation.

To figure this out, you really just have to talk to your boyfriend and see what the two of you want to do.

If you decide that you really want to be together, you will have to try hard to make sure you keep the love alive. This won’t be easy, but it is still a good option.

Very few relationships are completely doomed. There are often things you can do to fix the relationship and make it work again.

One of the most important things to do is make sure you are on the same page. You need to be actively working together. If only one of you is putting in the effort, it’s not going to succeed.

Ask Your Friends for Advice

Though you can find some answers online about how to resolve this situation with your boyfriend, that advice won’t be personalized to you specifically.

Asking your friends for advice can be a good way to get some suggestions that are personal to you and your specific situation.

When you explain the situation to your friends, try to be somewhat vague. This is a good way to respect your boyfriend’s privacy.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

You need to proceed with caution when asking your friends for advice. Though they can be helpful, they may not know how to give advice.

Even if your friend doesn’t have good ideas about what to do in this situation, they might give you advice anyway because they feel like helping you. The intentions behind the advice are good, but this isn’t helpful.

If your friends give you advice, look at it carefully. Consider the potential outcomes and don’t rush into making any decisions.

Take Time to Process Your Feelings

All too often, we feel like we need to suppress our feelings and move on. It’s good to avoid dwelling on these feelings too heavily, but you definitely should find a way to process them.

Everybody processes their feelings in a different way. Plus, you are likely feeling a combination of feelings so it’s hard to tell you exactly how to process yours.

First, try to identify your feelings. You might be feeling any of the following—and more:

  • ​Anger
  • ​Sadness
  • ​Heartbreak
  • ​Frustration
  • ​Confusion

​You may not be able to pinpoint exactly what you’re feeling and that’s okay. You might be confused about what happened and angry that he didn’t tell you sooner. You might be heartbroken and angry that you are going through this.

​There are lots of different emotions that you could be experiencing. Once you do your best to figure out what you’re feeling, you can try to process these feelings and work through them healthily.

Some people need a good cry about things like this. Others choose to work out. You might write in a journal or do some yoga.

The biggest point to remember is that you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes, when people are dealing with heartbreaking situations, they will pick up unhealthy habits or cause harm to their body.

If you feel unsafe, make sure you find a friend or family member who can check up on you and help you to process your emotions healthily.

Find Out What He Wants to Do

Though you might assume your boyfriend doesn’t want to date you anymore because he doesn’t love you, this isn’t always the case. He might be confused about this feeling and want your help figuring things out.  

Talk to your boyfriend and find out if he wants to break up or if he wants to try to make things work.

It can be challenging, but sometimes people’s feelings for each other fade. This doesn’t always make sense.

In some cases, even if the feelings are fading, the relationship isn’t completely over. These feelings may need to be rekindled and you may not have to give up on the relationship completely.

This decision can’t be yours alone because it connects directly to your relationship. You can talk to your boyfriend about this situation in general, but, this time, you should look specifically at your boyfriend’s wants.

If your boyfriend doesn’t want to put the effort into making the relationship work, it’s not totally worth it. If you’re putting in the work and he doesn’t want to, you may not want to stay in the relationship.

A good compromise in this situation would be to try to make things work for a given amount of time. This might be as short as a couple of weeks. If you can’t get your relationship back into good shape, it’s time to move on.

Come Up with a Plan


You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

It’s always good to have a plan. When you’re sorting through everything, try to figure out what you want to do next. Regardless of what you and your boyfriend decide to do, you should decide where you’re heading.

If your boyfriend wants to stay together (and you do too), try to decide how you’re going to rekindle the flame. If he doesn’t love you and you want to stay together, that love needs to be brought back.

It’s hard to give advice on how to bring his love back to you because I don’t know your exact situation or why you loved each other to begin with. You may need to tailor these guidelines to fit your specific relationship.

  • ​Talk about why you first started loving each other.
  • ​Go on more dates or spend more time together.
  • ​Do some of your favorite things together.
  • ​Make an effort to compliment each other.
  • ​Be flirty when you’re texting or talking on the phone.

​A lot of these tips have to do with showing interest and putting the effort into the relationship. Just because he may not love you as much as he did before doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care or that he doesn’t want to be with you.

After you have tried making an effort for a month or two, reevaluate the situation. You may be ready for a breakup if things haven’t improved. If they have improved, keep working hard to show each other you care.

Give Him Some Space 

Maybe your boyfriend just needs to take some time to himself. He may not want to break up with you completely. He may just need to take a break for a little while.

We all need some alone time here and there. It’s likely that your boyfriend does too. This is also a good opportunity for you to get your mind off all of the relationship issues and think about something else.

This time alone will also give him a chance to work through his emotions if he chooses to do so. He might want to talk to you after this to help you understand or to let you know what he figured out about the situation.

There is a chance that, after being apart for a little while, he will realize that he actually does love you.

If not, that’s okay too. What’s important is that you put forth the effort needed.

Consider Specific Situations

If you and your boyfriend can’t figure out why he stopped loving you, the two of you should take a look at all of the recent events you have gone through together.

What you’re really looking for here is any potential triggers. This might have been an argument. Maybe you said something that’s very opinionated and he just didn’t agree with it.

Though him stopping loving you does involve you, the situation that triggered it may not. His friends or family could have said something to him that made him question his love for you.

Unfortunately, there’s a chance that a specific event didn’t cause this lack of love. This makes it harder to pinpoint exactly why these feelings have faded and can be frustrating.

Try your best to think of any past situations that might have something to do with this sudden change, but know that it’s not always possible to figure things out. You might have to settle for not knowing exactly what went wrong.

Be Understanding


This can be nearly impossible, especially if the lack of love doesn’t make very much sense. If it was sudden or is unexplained, you might be extremely confused and upset.

As hard as it may be, it’s important to take a step back and think about what your boyfriend is going through.

For one, he just had to work up the courage and tell you he doesn’t love you anymore. Second, he is dealing with just as many emotions as you are.

This isn’t easy on anyone. Don’t ignore your boyfriend’s emotions. Try not to make him feel worse for what he said or anything that he might have done.

Yes, you’re hurting, but he probably is too. Be aware of that and try to understand where he’s coming from.

Even though things are going to be rocky between the two of you after he admits that he no longer loves you, it can be helpful to stay on decent terms. You might feel alone and he might too.

Try to support him as best as you can. Again, this won’t be simple. It can go a long way though and help both of you out.

While you are probably confused about why he doesn’t love you, try to understand that this happens in relationships. It’s normal. You would probably rather he be honest about it instead of faking it for several months of your relationship.

Consider Breaking Up

This is probably the last thing that you want to happen, but it can be necessary. If your relationship doesn’t show any signs of improvement and you’re losing hope, you may have to call things off.

Talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he thinks. Chances are, you two are on the same page. If you’ve already tried to resolve things and have gotten nowhere, you may not have another option.

Though relationships do take work, you shouldn’t be feeling extremely worn down because of them. This may be how you’re feeling if you’ve tried rekindling the flame. Some relationships don’t work out and that’s okay.

This breakup may be mutual, which means that you both want it. This can make the whole thing less dramatic because neither of you are very happy. Of course, you’ll still be upset and need some time to get over the relationship.

Breakups are never easy, but it’s better to break up than to be in a relationship with someone who just doesn’t love you.

If you decide to break up with each other, take the time to process your emotions healthily. It’s okay to take it easy for a few days.

Maybe you will get lucky and he’ll come back someday. For now, focus on taking care of yourself and finding things to do that you enjoy!


Did you enjoy reading this list? Did it help you with your relationship?

This list is important for me to cover because I don’t want you to feel alone or confused in this situation. It’s definitely a tough problem to deal with, but it’s not impossible. With enough guidance, you can make it through. There are solutions to each and every problem.

Be sure to pass this article onto a friend who might find it helpful. Leave us a comment down below and let us know what you thought!

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

4 comments on “Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore (11 Things To Do Right Away)”

  1. i feel these situations same as mine.i still love him deeply and dont just wanted to end our relation in a breakup but its exactly 1 mnth now that the told me he doesnt love me anymore and that he doesnt want to continue like this. i tried to convince him a lot but he is never ready for a conversation about that .he just want me to continue as his friend. even now we talk things regarding our colg and academics but he never want to talk about us. i just cant think of a situation now when im back in colg...it wont be any easy for me to escape others questions too...suggest me somthing pls..

  2. My boyfriend and I Started our relationship 6 months ago...we weren't in love when we started our relationship..but we decided to try and make it work...we were okay and we started loving each other...but yesterday he suddenly confessed to me that he doesn't love me anymore...he doesn't have feelings anymore...I tried convincing him saying that we'll try again we even tried before and we did make it work...but he said he just wants to be alone ..he's not ready to be in a relationship...and yes we are in a distance relationship and we spend time together only for two weeks when we started our relationship and this lockdown happens...Can you please help me out...I'm very hurt and I don't know anything right now about how he's feeling..why did he decided to walk away suddenly? He said he wanted to tell me about his faded feelings about 2 months ago ..he couldn't tell me because he was afraid that I would get hurt and he was scared about how i would react...I need help😭

    1. I know this won't help but... Well I'm in kind of the same situation. He said that he doesn't feel anything for me, but he doesn't know if he wants to finish. I really think that if there wasn't any lockdown we could meet and make everything better, but we can't... I hope that we'll find a solution. btw just replied cause I felt better knowing you are in the same thing.

  3. I'm in the exact position like you described in your article. Unfortunately, we've together for 3 years and been living together for 2. In the last month, he apparently has stopped loving me.

    After our conversation, I went out of the house to go for a walk but couldn't, when I got back I saw him packing his bags ready to leave with no intention of working it out. I managed to convince him in the end after hours of talking but he does not exactly how he fell out of love. So aside from the small things that started to annoy him which I can fix, I don't know what to do.

    All I really did was love him and care for him so I am very sad and confused how he stopped feeling the same way.

    We are still in the first day of trying but I can't help but replay all his words and reactions about not wanting to try anymore, and I know to my core that this is just dragging things out.

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